Shakz Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Cary Grant got the girl because he was always, even into his elderly years, a drop-dead gorgeous man. No style, short of pedophilia, would have failed for him. He could have been an incorrigible ass and women still would have dropped at his feet, simply because there would always be a new woman infatuated with his appearance and charisma. Proof positive were his five marriages. That's just the facts, as related by an 'average' guy who happens to enjoy Cary Grant movies I was thinking more of the characters he played but you have a point. However, it could be that his many marriages might have been as much the result of the women in his life discovering the Cary Grant the man was not the same guy he portrayed on screen. How about Humphrey Bogart. Now no one could argue he was any kind of adonis. That guy would literally slap women around in his films and was a bad-boy heartthrob who got Lauren Freakin' Bacall!
carhill Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Bogart was another great example. TBH, I always had a secret suspicion that Bacall was a dominatrix and slapped Bogie around in real life. Fun stuff.
Yamaha Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I want to know how many "nice" guys became asses to women and it really changed their luck? I just can't see how a nice guy can make the switch and feel comfortable in that role. Be honest and tell us the truth.....
Shakz Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Bogart was another great example. TBH, I always had a secret suspicion that Bacall was a dominatrix and slapped Bogie around in real life. Fun stuff. Their safeword was probably a whistle. "You know how to whistle don't you, Rick? I said YOU KNOW HOW TO WHISTLE DON'T YOU, RICK!"
carhill Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 You just put your lips together and.....blow Kinda hard to do while my hands are throttling your windpipe, eh??
Author Dblock10 Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 (edited) right guys leading on so I don't need to start a new thread > got a new girl's number.. I played the cocky/funny (ass?) role and my charming self it worked. after talking here and there I asked her what she gets up to during the week, she said not much just buzzing about, so I said well in that case maybe we should meet up? she said sure and gave me her number on my phone. Got to the end of night and I was back in the club I met her at (she was working) and we went and sat at a table and talked, then it was kick out time, as I was about to leave I knew she was following me to the door.. so i turned around and she said bye, so I drew her in closer held her and said do I get a proper goodbye tonight? and she smiled and said something like maybe you should wait until we meet later in the week, so I said ok sounds good, and left. so my question to you now is: when will the girl expect a txt? do i wait until monday or do I txt today at some point? is there a right and a wrong time? whats the best way to play this now, she obviously wants to get to know me better by meeting up so if that happens then i dont want a repeat of the beginning of this whole thread, feel me? Edited August 8, 2010 by Dblock10
zengirl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Cary Grant wasn't really a jerk in his movies, and there were several in which he had to "clean up" his act to get the girl. His characters generally weren't someone I would imagine was "acting like" a jerk to get the girl. Sometimes the characters had emotional issues that made him act jerk-like. . . but it's a movie. A movie about perfectly healthy, mature adults isn't going to be much of a romance. I'm not sure how he was in real life, but he was drop dead gorgeous, rich, and famous. I mean. . . I don't think he needed any special technique. I presume girls fell all over him, just as they do most rich, famous, gorgeous men. (Or fellows do with rich, famous, gorgeous women.) Bogart may not have been a beauty, but he was still rich and famous. As for the writing of his characters, it was a different time. Audiences would react differently to a leading man doing many of the things written for him today. (Not in a black and white film that we know to be a piece of film history necessarily.) At any rate, any normal fellow thinking that they can be Cary Grant or Humphrey Bogart is a bit delusional.
Woggle Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 This thread is 100% true. Go an obsesrve any social setting and you will see that the men who are downright rude to women are the ones who do the best. You have to put yourself above them or else they will not respect you.
Author Dblock10 Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 loving the david deangelo videos on youtube. good stuff. so much stuff to take in. its the little things that make the biggest differences. its all about male domination
MrNate Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 You know..sometimes I can't help but wonder if we men just simply over-complicate things when it comes to attracting women. Surely this can't be some kind of maze, right? I mean you see all types of men with all types of women. I dunno, I just don't think we need to look into this any deeper than necessary. I mean what if one of the biggest mistakes men make is just over complicating things, or looking into things too deep?
carhill Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Unless you're Bogart or Grant, IME, if you *don't* examine the dynamics of perception wrt dating, it's a great recipe to remaining single and unattached throughout your life, as a man. BTDT. I just lived my life, oblivious to 'methods' and 'plans' and 'tricks'. It was a wonderful, single, existence. That said, there were moments of reflection, where I said, sometimes out loud, 'why are these women blowing by me to get to these azzholes (men who were known to me as obviously such) and/or uninterested in my approach because of same?' Then, I began to watch how the dynamics worked and *also* what kind of women were going for the azzholes. I didn't understand the nuances of compatibility back then but knew something was off. Had I understood better, I likely wouldn't have gotten married. Live and learn
Author Dblock10 Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 You know..sometimes I can't help but wonder if we men just simply over-complicate things when it comes to attracting women. Surely this can't be some kind of maze, right? I mean you see all types of men with all types of women. I dunno, I just don't think we need to look into this any deeper than necessary. I mean what if one of the biggest mistakes men make is just over complicating things, or looking into things too deep? thats like saying ok we understand women now lets be ourselves. we will never understand them but we can do a good job at knowing what does and doesn't work (in our favour) and that is the skill i am trying to perfect or at least get a very good understanding of
MrNate Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 thats like saying ok we understand women now lets be ourselves. we will never understand them but we can do a good job at knowing what does and doesn't work (in our favour) and that is the skill i am trying to perfect or at least get a very good understanding of But what if women aren't as hard to understand as we make it out to be?
motive2002 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 You don't have to be an ass. The one thing you should do is to have integrity. By that I don't mean good or bad, or to follow someone else's lead. Having integrity simply means that you live life by your own agenda, have a certain way of doing things and you don't sway from that. The wishy-washy "nice" guys are what creep women out. If you follow her lead and not your own, you're on your way to becoming a doormat. Women don't like to date doormats in my experience. Don't be an ass, but do have some balls. If she asks your opinion on something, answer honestly, regardless if your opinion differs from hers. If she asks where you want to go or what you want to do for a date, make a plan. Be decisive. Take some charge! Be yourself! That what women want, a genuine person, not someone trying to mold themselves in to whatever they find the least offensive. Just my 2 cents
Author Dblock10 Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 very true. i guess doing what "you want to do" etc could be classed as an ass act, because you dont care what they want to do (although yes you can be open to what they suggest etc) but dont let your opinion differ from what you truly believe I have been turned down after sleeping with the girl because she thought i was too nice and it just put her off completely. ive even slept with a girl and next day they turn around and say, so i guess i wont here from you again now weve slept together.. and id be like :S erm no i'll phone you for sure, her: yeah right! women expect you to be an ass lol
zengirl Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 (edited) If she asks your opinion on something, answer honestly, regardless if your opinion differs from hers. If she asks where you want to go or what you want to do for a date, make a plan. Be decisive. Take some charge! Be yourself! That what women want, a genuine person, not someone trying to mold themselves in to whatever they find the least offensive. Just my 2 cents In general, I really like this, so long as yourself isn't a jerk. I definitely don't want a man to agree with everything I say; I do want him to respect my opinions and such, but no one wants to date a cipher. They have to be a real person with their own stuff going on, ideas, and an ability to be assertive without being a jerk. Honestly, it's too hard (I've never found it frustratingly hard, but it ought to be super easy) to find assertive, empowered, happy-with-who-they-are men and women in the world with the core of integrity I think you're mentioning, though the way you say it. . . I'm not quit sure. I don't know why there has to be some sort of false dichotomy between either being a guy who changes who he is to do everything to be a doormat and subvert his own opinions or just doesn't care about people/women/whatever at all and acts like a jerk. Both are equally uninteresting; one is a jerk because he's dishonest about his own self, and one is a jerk because he only cares about himself. very true. i guess doing what "you want to do" etc could be classed as an ass act, because you dont care what they want to do (although yes you can be open to what they suggest etc) but dont let your opinion differ from what you truly believe I think the "don't care" thing depends, doesn't it? I mean, don't all decent people care about what the people they care about think/feel/want? And to a degree, care even about not infringing upon new acquaintances and strangers? That doesn't mean parroting opinions, failing to assert yourself, or losing the core of who you are, but being considerate shouldn't threaten the idea of "integrity" motive2002 brought up. This is what I mean by the "as long as yourself isn't a jerk" comment above. I mean, if yourself is someone who thinks nothing of the thoughts/needs/desires of others and only care about your own self-interest in the world. . . then, yourself sucks. Likewise if yourself is someone who will throw out the core of who you are for someone you just met. Edited August 9, 2010 by zengirl
Author Dblock10 Posted August 9, 2010 Author Posted August 9, 2010 all i know is this thread has blown my mind open lol. basically have respect for yourself, break girls balls a bit but not too much, treat em nice when they deserve it. and dont become a doormat by agreeing to everything they say. have your own life, be driven to do what you want to do and be the man
donnamaybe Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 BTW you did an excellent job at completely missing my point. There has to BE a point before I can miss it.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted August 9, 2010 Posted August 9, 2010 all i know is this thread has blown my mind open lol. basically have respect for yourself, break girls balls a bit but not too much, treat em nice when they deserve it. and dont become a doormat by agreeing to everything they say. have your own life, be driven to do what you want to do and be the man Precisely. Continue to master these points, practice them and learn when the timing is appropriate to use one approach vs another and there you have it. the one thing that sucks (kinda sorta) is that, in general, you only get one chance per woman to create opportunities to see if you two are a match or not (whether short or long term).
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