jeffery Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 right my girlfriend who for the past three weeks has been amazing n we have had some wicked days out and nights...we have been together officially for three weeks, she seemed quiet today and she texted me this "its not you,your probably one of the nicest blokes i've ever met, i just don't want to ruin it by rushing into things as i have in the past. i haven't been on my own for more than 2months since i was 14 and think im still finding myself (shes 20 now). since everything happened with her and jay (her ex) i struggle with opening up to people as i'm afraid of being hurt, please don't think its anything you have done, i just done feel emotionally stable yet,some days im ok some im not. xxx" now what do i do? is this basically saying your nice but im not into you?? or do i just back off? thanks
Feelin Frisky Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 Be a horse whisperer. Instead of trying to break her, turn your back a few times. Get her to chase or find out at least that she's in fact not all that into you. Life is cruel. Be greatful for the good and accept that there is often a price that really stingks. Just don't be nasty when you turn your back.
Sophia8 Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 I would say walk away as she has broken up with you, she's done it in a nice way it's obvious that she does not want to hurt you - so I'm assuming (dangerous I know) that she does think that you're a nice guy just not for her/she's not ready. If you want to stay friends with her let her know but other than that there's nothing else that you can do!
CLC2008 Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 right my girlfriend who for the past three weeks has been amazing n we have had some wicked days out and nights...we have been together officially for three weeks, she seemed quiet today and she texted me this "its not you,your probably one of the nicest blokes i've ever met, i just don't want to ruin it by rushing into things as i have in the past. i haven't been on my own for more than 2months since i was 14 and think im still finding myself (shes 20 now). since everything happened with her and jay (her ex) i struggle with opening up to people as i'm afraid of being hurt, please don't think its anything you have done, i just done feel emotionally stable yet,some days im ok some im not. xxx" now what do i do? is this basically saying your nice but im not into you?? or do i just back off? thanks It means she's "not looking for a relationship" or "looking ahead" as far as a relationship goes with you. I'm sorry.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 It means she has issues and whether it's because of the ex or not, you're better off backing away from this relationship; otherwise, she'll just drag you down with her constant hot and cold attitude and you'll find yourself in the break up forum in the coming weeks and months.
remorseful1980 Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 I was like this girl. I pushed away my bf constantly, I would go hot and cold, and now we are broken up. Don't ever date somebody who's just gotten out of a relationship. You will be the rebound, you will have to endure her emotional baggage. Don't pursue her anymore. Live your life, then if you're still interested and she's still available next year, you can try again. Right now, she isn't relationship-worthy. Good of her for acknowledging this and not stringing you along.
NancyBotwin Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 I guess I don't agree with anyone else here. She sounds scared to me. It seems like she likes you a lot, but is pulling away because she is afraid of being hurt. I didn't see what she wrote as a breakup, did you? I don't think you should really back off, per se, but I would just tell her that you really like her, you've had a great 3 weeks, you want to continue seeing her, and that you are there for her. No one ever made a mistake by being supportive of someone else. (Well, unless they are hurting themselves, but that's not what we're talking about.) If she has been on her own since 14, she's probably had a lot of disappointments in her life. She's probably afraid of another one.
xpaperxcutx Posted August 1, 2010 Posted August 1, 2010 I guess I don't agree with anyone else here. She sounds scared to me. It seems like she likes you a lot, but is pulling away because she is afraid of being hurt. I didn't see what she wrote as a breakup, did you? I don't think you should really back off, per se, but I would just tell her that you really like her, you've had a great 3 weeks, you want to continue seeing her, and that you are there for her. No one ever made a mistake by being supportive of someone else. (Well, unless they are hurting themselves, but that's not what we're talking about.) If she has been on her own since 14, she's probably had a lot of disappointments in her life. She's probably afraid of another one. Nancy if a person is scared about being with someone, then they're obviously not ready to date. Aren't we all aware that a relationship is more fullfilling if both parties involved are able to put 100% of themselves into it? I understand the OP cares magnanimously about this girl and wishes to work it out, but given that this girl has been honest about her intentions, we are all aware that should he put in any effort, she will continuously push him away. If that happens, I'm sure the OP will become very frustrated with her.
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