stillafool Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 OP I didn't read your entire thread so forgive me if someone has already suggested this. I saw on TV that there is a club for overweight women and the men who like to date them. Have you looked into that?
stellaluna Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 OP I didn't read your entire thread so forgive me if someone has already suggested this. I saw on TV that there is a club for overweight women and the men who like to date them. Have you looked into that? That was on an episode of CSI.
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 OP I didn't read your entire thread so forgive me if someone has already suggested this. I saw on TV that there is a club for overweight women and the men who like to date them. Have you looked into that? There actually is quite a few clubs/dating sites social networks for overweight people op have you tried these options? after all if your looking for a peacock your not gonna have much luck in the hen house lol.. The bbw on line dating can be really good allot of good genuine guys on there seriously take a look. You deserve love no matter what size you are you do realize that right? 40 pounds is great! don't let the haters get to you again feel free to pm me if you like as ive been there and done that...
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 One of the guys I briefly dated is now married to a morbidly obese woman with a really sweet personality. They are crazy in love too (I went to their wedding). He is a fit, average looking guy. He is also not a "chubby chaser" from what I know. It does happen. Also, I am not obese and have barely been asked out during the last 2 years. This all changed when I signed up for internet dating. Have you tried that?
harmfulsweetz Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 I don't get why people are saying other posters 'are hating on the OP'. They aren't, they are being honest, and not sugarcoating the issue. I'm afraid to say it, but 40 pounds isn't an awful lot to lose in a year, but it is certainly a start. Bearing in mind, I'm aiming for 20 pounds in a month, and know I can do it, I think it's time to step things up a notch if she isn't willing to consider WLS. WLS certainly comes with it's fair share of risks. But as others have said, staying at this weight comes at a risk too. Losing weight isn't easy, especially not the amount OP has to lose, which is why WLS may be a good avenue to certainly look into. The thing is, you have to put stress on your body for it to change, so you must push yourself to the limit, otherwise it will take forever for any weight to be shifted. Have you ever watched the Biggest Loser? These people are around that weight, and are certainly putting their limits to the test. Saying you can't do serious, strenuous workouts IS an excuse. You can. You may have to take it slower, you may not be able to run a marathon, but you can and are capable of doing cardio, strength and ab work. If you won't look at WLS, have you ever thought about a weight loss bootcamp? It's supposed to be good motivation, and you may be able to meet someone there. It costs, but I think you should look into it.
zengirl Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Bearing in mind, I'm aiming for 20 pounds in a month, and know I can do it, I think it's time to step things up a notch if she isn't willing to consider WLS. She said she's on a doctor's plan. She could certainly get a second/third/whatever opinion, but at her weight, that's probably a good idea. Health, not dating, is the priority. I don't know what you weigh but 20 pounds in a month is in no way healthy. I'd definitely check with a doctor first. P.S. I'm not saying WLS is a bad option perse. . . just. . . always be healthy first about losing weight. If your heart stops, nobody's going to ask you out.
harmfulsweetz Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 She said she's on a doctor's plan. She could certainly get a second/third/whatever opinion, but at her weight, that's probably a good idea. Health, not dating, is the priority. I don't know what you weigh but 20 pounds in a month is in no way healthy. I'd definitely check with a doctor first. P.S. I'm not saying WLS is a bad option perse. . . just. . . always be healthy first about losing weight. If your heart stops, nobody's going to ask you out. I think a lot of people are suggesting WLS because if she loses 40 pounds a year, it will take her 5 years to get even close to normal/ideal. Of course, she should definitely check all her options out, but most people even people of a big size aim to lose around 2-3 pounds a week. That's 12 a month if we're being generous, and say, 8 a month if realistic. That means it should take at the most half a year to lose 40 pounds I think. Not a whole year, but some people do hit a plateau. I think I'm aiming high, but in all honesty, I'd settle for say 16 pounds in two months, but then, I'm exercising every day, and eating right. So it could be doable. I don't have loads to lose, I'm still a UK dress size 10 on top 12 bottom (I think that those are US size 6?) It's all on the tummy, have a muffin top. Health is most certainly the priority here, but we have to bear in mind, the longer she stays at this weight, the longer she's exposing her body to all sorts of ailments and health issues. WLS is just something to look into, as are weight loss boot camps.
remorseful1980 Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 20 pound weight loss in a month is NOT healthy (be aware that you can inflict damage to your heart) nor permanent. A steady but permanent weight loss is better than starving yourself or punishing yourself with an intense workout so that you can fit into that tiny bikini for the summer. If she can sustain her weight loss through permanent changes in food intake and with appropriate exercises, she's a good candidate for permanent weight loss. I've read about a guy who was supposed to go for a gastric bypass, but he was required to lose weight first. What he did was walk a lot. Brisk walks. He was able to lose so much weight just by doing that, and with diet changes, that he decided he didn't need the surgery anymore. Please guys, be realistic. The OP is 380 lbs, her mobility is limited, she cannot do any weight-bearing exercises because the stress on her joints will be too great, she cannot do what average-sized people can do. She is under a doctor's supervision, let's not suppose that we know better than her doctor. To the OP: I suggested swimming, or water exercises. Maybe you can talk to your doctor about that? Also, a hypnotherapist. It has helped me cope with depression. Hypnosis might help in your weight loss.
BS76 Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 Why can't a single normal guy look past my appearance and like me for who I am on the inside? Because who you are on the inside is hidden by what's on the outside. In other words men select on looks first, then screen for personality and such after the fact. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but there are some fairly universal truths due to how we've evolved, such as what drives instinctual attraction in the species (which differs for the genders). Men tend to select mates by indicators of fertility such as perky breasts, clear skin, 0.7 hip to waist ratio, and so on. Bottom line: attraction is not a choice. If you want men to be interested in you then lose the weight. The alternative is to keep waiting to for the rare guy that is the exception to the rule I just posted above. However, don't be surprised if he's not much of a catch either. To put it bluntly, beggers can't be choosers.
donnamaybe Posted August 2, 2010 Posted August 2, 2010 First, Soozee, congratulations on losing that first 40 lbs. Good for you! Second, for the people who are saying it's going to take too long at that rate, you and they need to understand that as the weight comes off, you WILL be able to do more and more strenuous exercise, thus, the weight will drop more quickly. You'll hit plateaus from time to time. Don't get discouraged. Just keep on keepin' on because you are doing this right. And when you feel you can begin doing more extreme workouts, DO IT!!! Good luck, and keep your eyes on the prize!
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 I think a lot of people are suggesting WLS because if she loses 40 pounds a year, it will take her 5 years to get even close to normal/ideal. Of course, she should definitely check all her options out, but most people even people of a big size aim to lose around 2-3 pounds a week. That's 12 a month if we're being generous, and say, 8 a month if realistic. That means it should take at the most half a year to lose 40 pounds I think. Not a whole year, but some people do hit a plateau. I think I'm aiming high, but in all honesty, I'd settle for say 16 pounds in two months, but then, I'm exercising every day, and eating right. So it could be doable. I don't have loads to lose, I'm still a UK dress size 10 on top 12 bottom (I think that those are US size 6?) It's all on the tummy, have a muffin top. Health is most certainly the priority here, but we have to bear in mind, the longer she stays at this weight, the longer she's exposing her body to all sorts of ailments and health issues. WLS is just something to look into, as are weight loss boot camps. harm this worries me you seam like a nice girl and I would hate to see you hurt your self 1st off a us size 6 is not a big size you do realize that? your not overweight really to begin with well unless your like 4ft? I really would encourage you to speak to your doctor 1st before trying to lose 20 pounds in one month at your current weight. Also remember some of that weight is water weight I honestly don't see it possible to lose that amount of weight actual "fat" in that amount of time in a healthy manner..
SpanksTheMonkey Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 First, Soozee, congratulations on losing that first 40 lbs. Good for you! Second, for the people who are saying it's going to take too long at that rate, you and they need to understand that as the weight comes off, you WILL be able to do more and more strenuous exercise, thus, the weight will drop more quickly. You'll hit plateaus from time to time. Don't get discouraged. Just keep on keepin' on because you are doing this right. And when you feel you can begin doing more extreme workouts, DO IT!!! Good luck, and keep your eyes on the prize! Your right Donna that much weight doesn't go on overnight and it shouldn't come off overnight ether any decent doctor will tell you that. At her current weight the strain on her joints is immense its not like a person whose 20 pounds overweight just having to hit the gym that much harder! If she over dose it she can suffer serious medical probs broken limbs heart attack and so on. Just keep up the good work op it will take you longer but it will be real and safe weight loss in the end. And will most likely stay off long as you keep a healthy lifestyle afterwards. Thats why all these fad diets don't work people lose the weight to quickly and then it comes right back times two! The biggest loser is done for the television ratings only im sure they will have a "heart attack" episode one of these seasons sadly..
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