likestolaugh Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 My gf and I just recently moved in together, and she wants to come jogging with me. The problem is that I'm in better shape than she is... far better (not visually, just the cardio stuff). She seems to want to run together, but she needs to stop about every 400 meters. We went out together today and I didn't even work up a sweat doing this... she was quite exhausted at the end. While it's fine that we both go out to run at the same time, once we hit the jogging path I'm going to have to leave her behind, or I will get no benefit at all. I figured I'd get the end, and then turn around and walk back along the path until I meet her... and then accompany her the rest of the way. I'm struggling to find a nice way to put this. I don't want her to feel insulted, or rejected. Help would be appreciated:)
USMCHokie Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Find time to work out on your own and treat running with her as quality time you spend with her.
K'aycie Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 My gf and I just recently moved in together, and she wants to come jogging with me. The problem is that I'm in better shape than she is... far better (not visually, just the cardio stuff). She seems to want to run together, but she needs to stop about every 400 meters. We went out together today and I didn't even work up a sweat doing this... she was quite exhausted at the end. While it's fine that we both go out to run at the same time, once we hit the jogging path I'm going to have to leave her behind, or I will get no benefit at all. I figured I'd get the end, and then turn around and walk back along the path until I meet her... and then accompany her the rest of the way. I'm struggling to find a nice way to put this. I don't want her to feel insulted, or rejected. Help would be appreciated:) "Honey, I love jogging with you, but my workouts are more cardio intense and I know its hard for you to keep up, which is OK, but I think it would be easier for both of us if excercise seperate".
GorillaTheater Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Find time to work out on your own and treat running with her as quality time you spend with her. My young jarhead friend is dead-on. There's a better-than-fair chance that she wants to do this because it's something you can do together, more so than a workout.
qinboxmail Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 My gf and I just recently moved in together, and she wants to come jogging with me. The problem is that I'm in better shape than she is... far better (not visually, just the cardio stuff). She seems to want to run together, but she needs to stop about every 400 meters. We went out together today and I didn't even work up a sweat doing this... she was quite exhausted at the end. While it's fine that we both go out to run at the same time, once we hit the jogging path I'm going to have to leave her behind, or I will get no benefit at all. I figured I'd get the end, and then turn around and walk back along the path until I meet her... and then accompany her the rest of the way. I'm struggling to find a nice way to put this. I don't want her to feel insulted, or rejected. Help would be appreciated:) Why don't you run on a treadmill ? You can run as fast as you can.
Soul Bear Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Her CV will improve over time. As a Trainer, my best advice for you is to set the pace for her, make it fun as she wants to do this with you! In a short time you will be keeping up with each other and she will also be in better shape. It's win-win. Cardio fitness is one of the fastest adaptations of the body. Set aside time for yourself to train on your own if you must. This could be a great thing for you both to share. Be there for her, support her and help her.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Why don't you run on a treadmill ? You can run as fast as you can. A treadmill hardly provides the same thrills as feet on granite and wide open country air... OP, eventually your gf's running will improve, in the meantime go with Chokie's advice about enjoying quality and working out on your own.
Soul Bear Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 A treadmill is also cheating....the ground is moving under you. Therefor it is easier than running outside as YOU have to move, the ground stays stationary.
Author likestolaugh Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 Our schedules don't really allow for separate exercise time. We both exercise in the morning before work (after work there isn't a good time). As for setting the pace for her... I tried, but she needs to stop after about 400 meters. I wasn't running fast at all... just a light jog. I worry that if she doesn't push herself at all, she won't improve. It seemed as if she was willing to stop at the first sign of even a slight discomfort. As for a treadmill... I don't want to pay for a gym... and it's summer outside. Why would I run on a machine? So much better outside. finally, we definitely spend enough time with each other... so that's not a problem. I mean, soon we'll even be working together part of the time.
Ophelia11 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I met my current bf at the gym and lately we've started working out together regularly. While I have learned some new things and I also enjoy the time we spend there together, I definitely understand the need for individual exercise. I go to the gym to exercise, my workout is deliberate, and often times I push myself much harder when I work out alone, especially when it comes to cardio and my running (I run on a treadmill since I have three small kids). I find I am much more focused when I am in my own head with with ipod running. In addition to getting a better workout when I am solo, I also feel that the alone time is beneficial for me spiritually/psychologically. For many runners like myself, running is an individual sport and is just not the same when shared. I think the OP should not have to compromise these benefits and should just be open about needing time alone for this activity. I do see the validity in the advice the OP has received as far as being supportive and patient with the gf's progress, but it is clear he doesn't want to share this time with her, and I understand why.
Author likestolaugh Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 I met my current bf at the gym and lately we've started working out together regularly. While I have learned some new things and I also enjoy the time we spend there together, I definitely understand the need for individual exercise. I go to the gym to exercise, my workout is deliberate, and often times I push myself much harder when I work out alone, especially when it comes to cardio and my running (I run on a treadmill since I have three small kids). I find I am much more focused when I am in my own head with with ipod running. In addition to getting a better workout when I am solo, I also feel that the alone time is beneficial for me spiritually/psychologically. For many runners like myself, running is an individual sport and is just not the same when shared. I think the OP should not have to compromise these benefits and should just be open about needing time alone for this activity. I do see the validity in the advice the OP has received as far as being supportive and patient with the gf's progress, but it is clear he doesn't want to share this time with her, and I understand why. thanks:) How would you recommend I tell her this?
flying Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Can you maybe talk about it in terms similar to what Ophelia said - that it's something you just like to do on your own, it's your "you" time, and while you enjoy spending time with her in other activities, you'd really like running to be something you can just do for you? My BF is a runner and this is definitely how he feels about it. It's his way of getting centered and feeling like himself - he really cherishes having that time to himself, it's meditative and calming for him. Maybe if you put it in those terms, instead of talking about her not being able to keep up, she can still see it as you sharing something with her - how you feel.
Ophelia11 Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Honestly, even if she could keep up, you would probably still prefer to run alone. Her not being as good as you really isn't the problem. At least that is how I am relating. Definitely do not bring this issue up. Instead focus on how running makes you feel better, perhaps you that you like to challenge yourself, time for you to think, etc. Let her know it is about you not her. With my bf, we are often on different schedules, but sometimes when we can we go for a trail run together on the weekend, and it seems recreational. I can still get a good run in, but it is a different experience. I still need time alone. Maybe try once a week or so to go with her. When you talk to her about going alone, I think she should be understanding.
Author likestolaugh Posted July 30, 2010 Author Posted July 30, 2010 well I really don't mind running with her... the problem actually IS that she can't keep up...
SarahRose Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Has she ever run before? Is she doing it just because you do it meaning if you weren't her bf would she be running on her own? If you can be patient until she catches up, then you'll have a running buddy. If she is doing it just to please you then you can tell her you have running goals that you are working on and prefer to run alone to meet them.
Sanman Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Have you tried HIIT? High intensity Interval Training will actually increase your cardiac fitness. Go jog with her. When she takes a break, take a 1/16 to 1/8 mile sprint and sprint back at 90-95% effort. It should only take a couple of minutes and she should be ready to jog again by the time you get back.
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