Chicagocutie Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 I've been dating a guy for a few weeks. It's been going well. He's 28 and I'm 30, and I've had some concerns about his maturity level. Yesterday, I looked at his (public) Twitter feed, which is very easy to find from Google. I saw that yesterday, during the workday, he responded to a Tweet from a porn star. When I looked at the list of people he is following, I saw that he is following a handful of porn actresses. He is also following family members, President Obama, the New York Times, and some other sites. This kinda grosses me out. How would you react? What would you say?
Gallaxia Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 If it were me? I'd "NEXT!" him ... What kind of interaction was it between the two, anyway?
likestolaugh Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 you know that he's a man right? Men do enjoy porn. It doesn't seem like he's obsessed...
brainygirl Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 Meh - he's a single or recently single guy who happens to follow a couple of porn actors amongst friends, family, and politicians he's interested in? I wouldn't read too much into it without more information.
O'Malley Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 He's a guy with a normal mini-crush on a celebrity who a) has hundreds or even thousands of horny male fans following her online blatherings, b) believes that the number of people following her twitter page bolsters her popularity and c) probably wouldn't have sex with him or the majority of her fans in 10 million years -- but obviously it's good for her business to make things seem personal for her fans. My SO's band's Twitter page has a few porn actresses/nude models and the like following it (my bf and I personally don't twitter). It's only an issue if he's actually having intimate conversations or planning to personally meet with this woman. Somehow I doubt he's going to be getting with her or Obama.
Gallaxia Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 (edited) Just what you said- It's only an issue if he's actually having intimate conversations or planning to personally meet with this woman Tgere's nothing wrong with porn but bigger picture though, isn't his responding, an open invitation? Are you telling me you'd be ok with a guy you're seeing, doing that? Edited July 29, 2010 by Gallaxia
TaurusTerp Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 Just what you said- Tgere's nothing wrong with porn but bigger picture though, isn't his responding, an open invitation? Are you telling me you'd be ok with a guy you're seeing, doing that? OP, Your boyfriend isn't pursuing a porn actress. Who cares. She didn't even respond, did she? Is it somehow better if he follows famous actresses? Whats the difference? He fantasizes about them too.
tincanman99 Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 Ignore it, its just entertainment like anything else. All men look at porn to some degree. I am not condoning, just stating a fact. It depends to what degree more than anything else. If you are comfortable with him, why dont you ask him about it? Think about it, if he has nothing to hide from you he should have no reason not to chat with you about it.
O'Malley Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 There's nothing wrong with porn but bigger picture though, isn't his responding, an open invitation? Are you telling me you'd be ok with a guy you're seeing, doing that? OP didn't clarify what they're tweeting about. I didn't perceive that there was an open invitation to anything but following her tweets and briefly talking to her, which is what her others fans are doing. If it's general stuff, it's no different than if he were tweeting with a favorite musician or any other celebrity -- it makes for good business. If there's regular, intimate, personal conversations going on here (or the bf perceives there's more intimacy occuring than in actuality) then there's a problem. But if she's uncomfortable dating a guy who chats with porn stars online, she can let him know.
alyssatranswarrior Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 (edited) "let him know" Uhh how about let him go....and move on! She should get over it, or find someone more like her if she's grossed out by porn or someone to do with porn. He obviously isn't against porn or people who are in it, and it's pretty harsh if you use that to call him immature (unless he is in other more justified ways). If you are a person who hates porn, you should remove yourself from the life of a partner who likes it. What's lame about some girls is they try to use emotions to say a man should not view a piece of entertainment, or be engaged in the world of certain entertainment. It's the same as when a women doesn't like rough sports and makes the guy not watch it so much. How dare she? Why not just not be with a man who likes what she hates? He was watching porn long before you came along, and likely will/would continue if you don't make it a dealbreaker in your pairing. What i'll say more to the point here, is that pornstars treat their public persona (usually) far more boringly than you might think. They usually can't stop talking about their job in terms of it being a "business" or "industry". They usually never talk like its real or trying to make their fans horny or interested in them outside of the context they are in adult films. Since you can see tweets, was it anything even bad or are you just projecting insecurities? That's what im wondering, is all. Edited July 29, 2010 by alyssatranswarrior
that girl Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 I think people are jumping to conclusions to assume the OP is an uptight prude to be less than thrilled that the guy she is seeing is twitter following a porn star. I don't have a problem with porn and it still raises my eyebrows. First, it suggests a deeper connection with porn than "there are some adult actresses I particularly like to watch." There is liking porn and then there is being the type of guy who goes to porn conventions. Second, maybe he doesn't use twitter professionally, but he does use it to keep in touch with his family. Is his mom cool knowing which porn stars are his favorites? It suggests some boundary issues to me. Personally, I'd ask him why he follows them and go from there.
Mimolicious Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 I am a woman and I follow them... what's the problem? What can he possibly do with women that probably wont even reply to him?
Gallaxia Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 (edited) I don't know. Clearly something was bothereing the OP about the situation! Whatvif instead of a porn star, it were Kate, the barrista at Starbucks? Would it change anything? It's not so much even about it being a porn star... Aye yay yay! Ladies we are giving away our respect too much in an effort to look like the cool and accomodating girlfriend. And for what? Is this what truly goes for boyfriend/husband material? I mean honestly ? Edited July 29, 2010 by Gallaxia
spookie Posted July 29, 2010 Posted July 29, 2010 What I am interested in, is what the heck these porn stars are tweeting. "I had to s!ht so bad during DP tonight?"
xpaperxcutx Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Maybe it's the fact that a 28yr old is actually "tweeting" with porn stars that has the OP hot and bothered? I'm surprised that you didn't dump him because he actually has a twitter.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I would find that to be a major turn-off, and would completely lose interest in dating him.
sweetjasmine Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I don't know. Clearly something was bothereing the OP about the situation! Whatvif instead of a porn star, it were Kate, the barrista at Starbucks? Would it change anything? It's not so much even about it being a porn star.. Well, I doubt he would be watching videos of Kate the Starbucks barrista having sex and jerking off to them, so, yeah, that'd be a little different.
Stung Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I think people are jumping to conclusions to assume the OP is an uptight prude to be less than thrilled that the guy she is seeing is twitter following a porn star. I don't have a problem with porn and it still raises my eyebrows. First, it suggests a deeper connection with porn than "there are some adult actresses I particularly like to watch." There is liking porn and then there is being the type of guy who goes to porn conventions. Second, maybe he doesn't use twitter professionally, but he does use it to keep in touch with his family. Is his mom cool knowing which porn stars are his favorites? It suggests some boundary issues to me. Personally, I'd ask him why he follows them and go from there. Yeah, this would be about my process, as well. Also, the mom thing made me giggle. When he's older, I hope my son and I are open about sex, but...maybe not THAT open. I have never minded a partner who uses porn occasionally, recreationally as it were, but I'm not into getting involved with guys who are obsessed with porn or who follow pornstars avidly like squeeing--and squirting--fanboys. Not my bag.
linwood Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 I`m a guy and I think following porn stars is a little creepy. I watch porn, I enjoy porn, but I couldn`t care less about the actors on the screen. It`s just a temporary diversion to me, then again I couldn`t care less who the hell J Lo is balling this month either. Actually I bet I couldn`t pick a J Lo out of a line up so take my opinion for what it`s worth.
WintersNightTraveler Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 What did he actually write to the porn star?
alyssatranswarrior Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Yeah imo what he wrote is the most important thing. What she wrote is irrelevant since she doesnt not want your bf! no way in hell she could care about him outside "hes a fan and that = money and success for me" with him if its like "I got to talk to jenna jameson coz she tweeted me a reply isn't that cool" - not necessarily "I talked to jenna jameson and I think we share more of a connection than with other fans and I she got me hot like always, man ill buy all her porn and watch it and subscribe to her site for years" ........... isn't the first (and more likely) moderately cute? He got to say some meaningless aaarrse nonsense to something who otherwise would be far too celebrity to even consider him worthy. But twitter has now allowed the equivalent of BS chit chat with famous people. @ the guy who said he likes porn but would never follow actresses, and finds it creepy to. This just screams you are trying to mask some shame you have about liking porn so you made an imaginary distinction. A line you wouldn't cross ever. Me personally I never even follow actresses singularly in porn. I have favorites but I don't much care for one alone since I need them all to really get much fantasy out of it sometimes. This doesn't mean I made some rule to justify to others that porn has not corrupted me for date-ability. Just means I haven't gone that route because I don't feel beholden to stars for assisting my fantasies enough to talk with them personally. It's the weirdest thing when girls tell me they have a crush on brad pitt and would love to meet him and get to know him....like "who would you meet?". Yeah I'm sure he wants to meet some clingy fan whose masturbated over him about 500 times and paused scenes in his movies where hes half naked and orgasmed in the freeze frame. Yeah I'm sure he wants to get to know you too, all 50 million of you with posters in the attic from your college dorm days... No, he'd prefer and does bed celebrities and marries them, but a man should not chose to ditch her because she masturbates over brad pitt. That's ridiculous! More likely a reason to ditch her is if she pretended that she has a chance with him or had a goal one day to meet him. So see, there is a HUGE distinction.
jullia Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 A pornographic actor/actress or a porn star is a person who appears in pornographic films. Most actors appear nude in films (usually filmed in explicit sexual genres). Most genres have specialists who achieve most of their recognition in a specific niche market such as lesbian sex, bondage, strap-on sex, anal sex, double penetration, semen swallowing, teenage women, interracial or MILFs. But Free sex dating for adult peoples, amateurs & swingers site! Sex Dating for Adults is your ultimate source for free sex personals, adult friend finder, amateur professional & adult social network. For more details contact at sexdatingforadults.com
Gallaxia Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Well, I doubt he would be watching videos of Kate the Starbucks barrista having sex and jerking off to them, so, yeah, that'd be a little different. But seriously, it's not important what he wrote, but that he wrote.
WintersNightTraveler Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 But seriously, it's not important what he wrote, but that he wrote. I'm just trying to wrap my head around what someone would tweet back to a porn star. Why would someone do this? Was it really funny or witty? Was it dirty and stupid? Was it everyday conversation?
dcdatingdiva Posted July 30, 2010 Posted July 30, 2010 Egh as frustrating as it is, boys will be boys and if they can feel like they're interacting- even in something as impersonal or distant as Twitter- then they will take the chance... good luck with this one
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