To move on or not to move on?

[zoey956]

So, here is my situation.

 

I've sorta been in love with this guy for like a little over a year and a half. He's a friend of mine, and he's a really nice guy but he's a bit shy and somewhat avoidant. I've known him for almost two years now and during this time I have never heard him talk about a girlfriend nor do I know if he's even dated anyone. And it's not just me, our other friends don't know either or they just won't tell me.

 

Anywhoo, he and I have made out a few times while we were drunk. The last time that we made out I wasn't drunk but he was. And every time after that happens he would avoid me afterwards. He wouldn't reply to my texts and if I call he'd say that he's at his friends' place and that he has to go. So I finally got fed up a few days ago and asked him if he would've made out w/ anybody while he was drunk and he said yes. I was pretty upset but I didn't want him to know so I just made a joke about it and hung up.

 

My logical side is telling me to move on but a little voice keeps telling me to hang in there because I've never told him how I really feel about him either. And I'm pretty shy around him too so it might've seem to him like I don't care. And he's currently avoiding me right now. So, I'm just wondering if I should just shoot him a text telling him how I really feel about him? or should I take a hint and give him space? I also don't want to lose him as a friend.

 

Any input would be nice

[Sanman]

Oh good god, if he can't man up and you want to be with him either tell him or move on. Otherwise, you will both just tease and frustrate each other. At least if you ask, you'll have an answer and can move in in peace in the worst case scenario. His response to your previous question may have been due to embarassment or simply that he is not into you. The question is how important is the answer to you? Important enough to approach and feel some embarassment yourself or not? Welcome to being a guy.

[zoey956]

Well, he is ignoring my texts, emails, and calls... So, I am just going to take a hint and move on!

 

And the other time when I called him (this was when he actually was picking up my phone calls), I heard a woman's voice in the background. He constantly kept yawning or shuffling papers; I think trying to drown out her voice. Then I heard him whisper 'come here' and then he tells me that he has to go and hung up.

 

I don't know whether he actually is seeing someone right now or not but I do know that he's not returning any of my efforts to contact him. And I'm not being unreasonable, I'm not asking him to meet with me or to have lunch w/ me... nothing like that. I only texted him to say hey and ask how he's doing etc... So, if he's not even a friend enough just to say hi back I have no reason to embarrass myself further. I will just take my rejection and walk away w/ whatever dignity I still have left

 

Kinda feels free to move on. This whole time I feel like I've been weighted down by 'what ifs' and 'maybe's. And he's not the only one to blame, I'm sure I've given him mixed signals in the past as well. But it doesn't matter anymore, because what's done is done and I am moving on . And here's to hoping that I can be more assertive w/ the next guy that catches my interest.

 

Thanks Sanman! I have newfound respect for all men now . Really takes balls to be able to approach someone that you're interested in esp w/ the possibly of rejection.

[zoey956]

Women don't have a logical side. Sorry, could not resist.

 

 

Hmmm I read the second post, I guess he's not such a nice guy after all. Yeah forget him, he's not interested. And stalking him won't help.

 

lol since when has stalking ever helped

But it's so tempting...

[xpaperxcutx]

I would move on and drop the friendship. Can't be friends with a guy I have a crush and definitely can't remain friends with a guy who avoids me.