Would you date a man who refused to have sex?

[jakinbandw]

Would it turn you off a guy if he didn't want to have sexual intercourse with you? Still willing to give head and such, just no intercourse?

[SilentVoice]

Now if he has a valid reason such as religion. I will understand but not date him because of my own non-beliefs.

Now if he is capable of oral sex ,etc. I will still say no ,because I don't understand how you can have a reason to have sex but not have sex.

[jakinbandw]

My reasons are ones of self respect. There are certain things that I decided when I was younger that I would not do. I would not swear, I would drink or do drugs, I would not have intercourse before marrage. I feel that if I break any of these I will lose respect for myself. I had a lessor one that I broke once, and at moments when I am unhappy my subconscious loves to bring it up to show me how worthless I am. When that happens I say right back, "look at what I choose to abstain from."

 

So for me having intercourse would be a very hurtful to me. I think it would cause me more hurt than it is worth.

[SilentVoice]

If you believe in your reasoning.I see no reason why a women who is on the same page as you mentally will find this as a turn off.

[Pfiend101]

if your willing to lick it why not be willing to put a condom on your penis and put it in there? Just curious.

[Knittress]

I have no problem with someone respecting their sexuality by having sex when it feels right to them - however it jives with my personal timeline, but I the following is what disturbs me about your attitude:

 

my subconscious loves to bring it up to show me how worthless I am. When that happens I say right back, "look at what I choose to abstain from."

 

The fact that you validate your self-worth by feeling the need to control elements of your external environment freaks me out just a tad. It raises the 'issues' flag and I wouldn't want to deal with it. But I'm not a shrink or anything.

[jakinbandw]

Because even with a condom on, it is still intercourse of the sexual variety.

 

Eh, it isn't often, just on a really bad day. Say after I have been dumped, or after I have been laid off of work or such. I am not sure that's I consider it controlling external environment rather than being a mesure of self control. Not swearing and not drinking has no effect on my environment, though I can see how wanting to not have sex could be... Unless I misunderstood what you meant.

[bac]

My reasons are ones of self respect. There are certain things that I decided when I was younger that I would not do. I would not swear, I would drink or do drugs, I would not have intercourse before marrage. I feel that if I break any of these I will lose respect for myself. I had a lessor one that I broke once, and at moments when I am unhappy my subconscious loves to bring it up to show me how worthless I am. When that happens I say right back, "look at what I choose to abstain from."

 

So for me having intercourse would be a very hurtful to me. I think it would cause me more hurt than it is worth.

 

Are you religious? If you are religious, I can understand your point.

If you are not religious, why is having sex disrespectful to you?

[TaurusTerp]

Because even with a condom on, it is still intercourse of the sexual variety.

 

Eh, it isn't often, just on a really bad day. Say after I have been dumped, or after I have been laid off of work or such. I am not sure that's I consider it controlling external environment rather than being a mesure of self control. Not swearing and not drinking has no effect on my environment, though I can see how wanting to not have sex could be... Unless I misunderstood what you meant.

 

Sounds like mental issues to me. Your subconscious belittles you?

[Sabali]

Oh some woman may date you while you exercise self control but don't be surprised if a nice stiff one accidentally slips it way in from elsewhere.

 

Many many adults have sexual desires and enjoy having sex and asking someone to wait for marriage is really tough for a lot of people. In many cases, the relationships end because, lets face it, sex is important in most relationships or there is infidelity. I would just say no to drugs but that's just me.

[Fra]

Answer to your question is no. Just go to the bar- there you find plenty of guys willing to have sex with you.

 

But seriously. If it means that much to you to have sex... what kind of relationship you want in the first place?

[Knittress]

I really don't understand the lines people draw with sex. I really don't feel any differently emotionally if a guy I'm with is sticking his man-bits in my upper, rather than lower, orifices.

But this is definitely not an opinion I held when I was younger - actually I think what changed my mind was being with a virgin who refused to have vaginal intercourse with me for half a year... and then years down the line when both of us had racked up slightly higher numbers, the realization that all our hijinks really WAS sex-sex.

::shrug::

Edited July 26, 2010 by Knittress

[D-Lish]

I am not getting any younger, I am not waiting longer than 10 dates to have sex!

[zengirl]

Would it turn you off a guy if he didn't want to have sexual intercourse with you? Still willing to give head and such, just no intercourse?

 

I wouldn't date him, because I couldn't marry someone I'd never slept with. That's just my worldview. I think there are plenty of women on the same page, who don't want to have sex until marriage or would go with it, though. It's going to be a view that limits you somewhat, but everything important to us is -- we draw these lines and limit ourselves, and as long as we're doing it for good reason and it's true to who we are, that's positive. My 2 cents.