Author OrdealByFire Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 ...I was being my usual self. She decided that it would be easier/better for her to give me her password. So she did. I didn't do anything to get it.
D-Lish Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 ...I was being my usual self. She decided that it would be easier/better for her to give me her password. So she did. I didn't do anything to get it. Yes you did, you made her feel like you couldn't trust her.
You'reasian Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 (edited) ...I was being my usual self. She decided that it would be easier/better for her to give me her password. So she did. I didn't do anything to get it. Usual self? What does that mean? No woman is going to just give her password to a boyfriend. No way! You were motivated by insecurity and either pressured her into giving it to you or you got it through other means. That's kind of sketchy... If you can't trust this woman and her email confirms this or you have other reason to not trust her, then you need to hash it out and move on. Trust is the backbone of any committed relationship. Edited July 26, 2010 by You'reasian
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 I didn't pressure her. Her ex-boyfriend screwed with her enough, I'm not trying to do that deliberately. I didn't give her an ultimatum or anything. She pretty willingly gave it.
You'reasian Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I didn't pressure her. Her ex-boyfriend screwed with her enough, I'm not trying to do that deliberately. I didn't give her an ultimatum or anything. She pretty willingly gave it. You're not trying to screw with her "deliberately"? ..........
D-Lish Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I didn't pressure her. Her ex-boyfriend screwed with her enough, I'm not trying to do that deliberately. I didn't give her an ultimatum or anything. She pretty willingly gave it. Because she felt she had to- because you make her feel like she has to in order for you to trust her. Even then, it's not enough for you. Have you met her yet? This is an online relationship right?
aerogurl87 Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 No woman is going to just give her password to a boyfriend. No way! That's not always true. I gave my boyfriend my facebook password so he can edit stuff when I don't feel like/or can't get online to do it myself.
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 Because she felt she had to- because you make her feel like she has to in order for you to trust her. Even then, it's not enough for you. Have you met her yet? This is an online relationship right? eeeeeeeeeyes that'd be correct. and it's not like i'm the ONLY freak! she doesn't exactly trust me either. we decided a little earlier to basically take a bit of a break. it was mutual.
D-Lish Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 eeeeeeeeeyes that'd be correct. and it's not like i'm the ONLY freak! she doesn't exactly trust me either. we decided a little earlier to basically take a bit of a break. it was mutual. I don't think you are a freak- but I think you have some stuff to work through.
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 I know I do, I won't deny that. It's frustrating to know something's not right and not be able to just say "Alright, fixing it." ... it's not that easy for me unfortunately.
Untouchable_Fire Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I know I do, I won't deny that. It's frustrating to know something's not right and not be able to just say "Alright, fixing it." ... it's not that easy for me unfortunately. It not easy for anyone. So... what's not right?
zengirl Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I know I do, I won't deny that. It's frustrating to know something's not right and not be able to just say "Alright, fixing it." ... it's not that easy for me unfortunately. Personally, I think jealousy comes from not trusting oneself (I don't mean from thinking, "Hey, I would cheat" and projecting). You don't trust yourself enough to pick someone who is good, honest, right for you, and won't hurt you, and you don't trust yourself enough to eliminate the people who will hurt you from your relationship search, so you don't trust the people you pick. I don't know how to fix it anymore than anybody else. Despite having picked a few friends who've let me down in my life and some crap job situations, I've never really picked bad people around me in terms of dating. . . and I still basically trust myself to pick the right things, figuring I learn something new each time. And I always wind up okay. I've never been a jealous person (That's not to say, I've never felt twinges of it---but I generally trust the people I date, especially, because I get to know them pretty well before considering it a relationship). Where does your jealousy come from? And by that, I don't mean what past experiences, but where, inside of you. You can't change experiences, but you can always change yourself. Any time you want. (It's not easy, but it's always possible. I find that comforting and challenging at the same time.)
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 I think I'm jealous because I'm really insecure.
zengirl Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I think I'm jealous because I'm really insecure. Well, yeah, but I think you'll have to go a bit deeper than that to fix it. Why are you really insecure?
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 I'm really not sure why. I'm of little help. I don't think I'm good looking and I'm not confident, most likely because I've never been in a physical relationship.
Mme. Chaucer Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I'm really not sure why. I'm of little help. I don't think I'm good looking and I'm not confident, most likely because I've never been in a physical relationship. Are you in an LDR to avoid being in a physical relationship? Have you and your gf met?
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 26, 2010 Author Posted July 26, 2010 I WANT to be in a physical relationship, but there are problems with trying to do that with her. I haven't met her yet, no.
sagetalk Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I WANT to be in a physical relationship, but there are problems with trying to do that with her. I haven't met her yet, no. Good grief.
zengirl Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 I WANT to be in a physical relationship, but there are problems with trying to do that with her. I haven't met her yet, no. The cynical 25-year-old in me says, "Then she isn't really your girlfriend." But I'm not the LDR sort and have broken off real relationships with folks I have met due to moving and distance. So, what do I know?
nikayla Posted July 27, 2010 Posted July 27, 2010 I can somewhat understand how you feel, OP. I went to top private schools, maintained an excellent GPA (3.9), and I am currently attending a prestigious college. I guess some dating prospects would refer to me as "too good to be true", especially because I come from a crime-ridden area. The men who put me on a pedestal, whether it was due to my looks or accomplishments, were the ones who I simply avoid. Why? Because the putting-the-woman-on-the-pedestal myth may translate to higher expectations, idealistic viewpoints, and unnecessary stress. As a girl involved in so many things, I simply cannot tolerate drama. The men who were successful with me displayed confidence, a drive to succeed, and the ability to try new things. My current boyfriend and I met online as well. In fact, he had just recovered from a suicide attempt prior to our relationship. He does not have a stellar GPA, prominent family background, or lots of money. But I am confident in our relationship and I look up to him because of his resilience. He grew up without parents and is now the first in his family to attend college. Stop selling yourself short and remember that confidence is the key. I wish you the best of luck and lots of Skype calls in your LDR!
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 27, 2010 Author Posted July 27, 2010 I do feel like she's too good for me, but I don't expect her to do anything extraordinary or anything. If I make her feel like that somehow, I certainly don't mean to. sagetalk and zengirl: Most people don't get LDR so I'm not ... offended or anything. My mom even said "How can she be your girlfriend?" Funny that she said that, seeing as how her brother met his now wife through the internet.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 It's not even the LDR that's the problem, the problem is that her age by law makes it illegal for you to date her. I sound like a hypocrite now, but when I was 12, I was icq-ing and webcaming with guys twice my age and the only reason I have for my behaviour was because I didn't know any better. At 12, I was pretending I was 16 just so I could vy for attention from twenty year old guys preying on a minor. I can't justify my past actions and I can honestly say I do regret most of them.
MyNameIsJane Posted July 28, 2010 Posted July 28, 2010 You look young. Sorry to play that card, but you do. Which means insecurities are normal. She probably has a ton of them herself.... It's just a part of life. From a girls standpoint, it isn't really good to announce them constantly though. Here, it is fine - that's what this place is for. But for a girl, having her boyfriend constantly tell her that he isn't good enough for her is kind of a drag on the relationship. GPA's, money, blah blah blah.... it doesn't matter. Take it from someone who has a high GPA and a family with an obnoxious amount of money in the bank... it doesn't factor into what I am looking for in a mate. Sure, I don't want him to be stupid, but there are plenty of ignorant douche bags that have high GPAs... What matters is who a person is and how they make you feel. And she likes you for a reason - keep being the person you are and don't worry about the rest. (PS: there are so many brilliant people out there who failed or dropped out of school because their brain just doesn't work like that, and now they lead very successful lives... a GPA is just like an age... it aint nothin but a number! keep your head up)
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