Amour Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Guys, I posted this to the thread "What if Men Had to Follow Female Beauty Rules?" above but I guess the thread had died. So, I am starting this new thread with the same message because I need some feedback here. Am I the only insane one who thinks the way I do or there's more people like me? Or do you disagree with me? Just to clue you in, many guys on the above thread were whining about how hard they have to work to have ripped bodies to get women and that's it. Nothing is mentioned about personality, effort, skills, etc. My response is below (Excuse the bad English. All comments and criticism warmly welcome!): START: I can't f*ing believe it you guys are missing a lot of things about attraction and NOONE, I mean, NOONE here ever mentioned anything else but "being lean, muscular..whatever". IT'S A BALANCE BETWEEN LOOKS, EFFORT AND PERSONAL QUALITIES. Below is the truth about sexual attraction for men. In order to be IDEALLY 100% physically attractive you need: 1) An attractive face. For the universal beauty junkies: thin, evenly proportional face with a square jaw (MASCULINITY) *OR* proportional "cute" face (APEAL TO MOTHERLY INSTINCTS); *PLUS* 2) A lean proportional body. THE KEY IS PROPORTIONAL. Too skinny or too muscular will not cut it. Flat stomack is a must, abs are a good plus but are not necessary. In order to have IDEAL attractive personality: 1) You have to be confident, relaxed around women, have a good sense of humor, be romantic, powerful, etc...with small fluctuations depending on what your particular type of woman likes. In order to exert 100% effort at seduction you need: 1) Great seduction skills, i.e. you need to be experienced and need to know how to seduce women with words, actions, etc. 2) 100% effort also means you make yourself 100% available and you actively pursue relationships with women almost on a daily basis. So, let's do some combos: 1) [Great looks, low personality, low effort] will STILL get you women (the normal ones will not want to stay in a LTR due to low personality). If you are high on the looks scale, modern women will approach you and do the work in seducing you (a lot of times not the most desirable women due to low effort). The solution: Improve personality and maybe effort to get the women you desire. 2) [Low looks, great personality, low effort] will NOT get you women. You are generally unattractive and do not attempt at seducing women, you will not be "getting lucky". Your great personality will not be manifested. The solution: Improve looks through diet and exercise *AND* highly increase effort to get the women you desire. 3) [Low looks, low personality, great effort] will sometimes get you AVERAGE women (in bed but not for LTR unless she's a psycho or a weirdo) due to lack of looks and personality. The solution: Improve looks through diet and exercise *AND* improve personality (go see a shrink and get rid of insecurities) to get the women you desire. *WHAT I'M GIVING YOU GUYS IS GOLD ON A SILVER PLATTER!*** It took me MANY YEARS to figure this stuff out. At times I thought that what mattered was only looks and that's it. At times I thought that looks didn't matter to women (thanks to misleading cues from women, the media, some self-help mumbo-jumbo, etc). This one was very hard to crack...You know why? Because with great skill and effort I was regularly getting laid and sometimes by pretty even hot women. Why then I argued should I improve looks. I can be happily lazy with the gut (plus I'm short on top of this, which of course I can't do nothing about) and still land hotties with my great seduction skills and effort???? But you know what? The lifestyle made me get almost broke spending a lot of money at bars and going out almost every night. PLUS the girls I was getting were OK to hot looking but their lifestyle and/or personalities were horrible. I didn't want to date any of them. I tried a few times but I ended up with crazies and/or the bar whore type. Additionally, some of the women I was having sex with I had "finessed" into having sex with me via nice words, etc while they were buzzed (beer goggles) and no wonder why I only saw them once when we had sex and they never picked up the phone later. Some of the women thought I was rich or famous since I had such big balls but was no looker and I ended up with gold diggers. I got really good at what I was doing and in the past few years without looks and with some personality (OK I do have a good sense of humor) and a lot of effort I managed to sleep with 50+ women. Never dated any of them (if you exclude some lame attempts). Now that I look back I see how unimaginable hard it was to get intimate with women and that I spent most of my time chasing them... I went out with some of my very good looking friends and my perspective about looks not being important started to change dramatically. Those guys being hot were getting girls with almost no effort. Women were actually pursuing them. I couldn't believe my eyes! I became depressed for a few days and realized my deepest mistake...LOOKS DO MATTER AND THEY MATTER A LOT! That's what I'm working on right now: LOOKS and TO A LESSER EXTENT PERSONALITY. No, I'll never become a model looking guy or the stud on the block but if I could improve my body and go a little up on the looks scale combined with personality and effort I should be able to seduce the woman that I desire in my life. That's it guys....it's a journey and it is HARD WORK for guys like me but it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE! That is my hope. SO, THE GUYS HERE ON THIS FORUM THAT WHINE ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS FOR US GUYS NEED TO GET OVER IT AND SHUT THE F* UP! YOU EITHER WANT THE GIRL OF YOUR DREAMS OR YOU'RE DON'T (TRANSLATE YOU ARE TOO LAZY TO CHANGE)! AND YES, ACCEPT IT THAT THIS WORLD IS ENORMOUSLY UNFAIR AND IF YOU ARE SHORT OR UGLY OR BOTH (LIKE ME) IT IS GOING TO BE HAAARD FING WORK! NO WAY AROUND IT BUT TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN WITH YOUR LOOKS, PERSONALITY AND EFFORT. NOTE: YOU CAN ALSO TRY TO GET WOMEN BY BECOMING RICH FOR THE PURPOSE AND YOU WILL GET HOT GOLD DIGGING BIMBOS WHO WILL SPEND YOUR MONEY AND CHEAT BEHIND YOUR BACK AND WAIT FOR YOU TO DIE SO THEY CAN GET YOUR MONEY! If all fails with my plan in the end of the day I can still enjoy my life with or without the woman of my dreams....BUT I won't give up without a fight!
Shakz Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I think a man and a woman will come together if they are on a par with regard to emotional maturity, if they share goals and interests, and find each other's company enjoyable. I really don't think appearances or pocketbooks play a major factor, except, perhaps, in the initial, shallow attraction.
zengirl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I think a man and a woman will come together if they are on a par with regard to emotional maturity, if they share goals and interests, and find each other's company enjoyable. I really don't think appearances or pocketbooks play a major factor, except, perhaps, in the initial, shallow attraction. Personally, I think appearances matter to a degree. I mean, folks have to be attracted to each other. I don't think that means you have to be super-hot, but keeping yourself in order, so to speak, helps, and being naturally attractive (as deemed by current standards) won't hurt. But I think you're right on about what keeps people together. I don't think pocketbooks matter at all (beyond being able to support oneself). People's ideas about money can matter a great deal, but that comes into the goals portion.
Shakz Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Agreed, ZG, you want to maintain a healthy lifestyle and the side effect of that is physical attractiveness. Actually, sharing an interest in each other's health can be one of the bonds that hold a relationship together. I mean't not so much honest appearances, but those facades we all feel compelled to project that must inevitably crumble.
MrNate Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Lol. Everything plays a factor. Now what is considered a priority, obviously will depend on the individual. So I guess by this notion, it's best to find someone who looks good to you physically (so you can look at them) and someone who can stimulate you emotionally. I can't see a relationship working with one of those missing.
Enchanted Girl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Lol. Everything plays a factor. Now what is considered a priority, obviously will depend on the individual. So I guess by this notion, it's best to find someone who looks good to you physically (so you can look at them) and someone who can stimulate you emotionally. I can't see a relationship working with one of those missing. I agree and also, different people have more or less strict standards in certain areas. I could be physically attracted to most men, but their personalities get in the way of things for me, so I'm more picky in that area, but for someone else it might be the exact opposite.
PJKino Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Goes without saying..Women will try to give u cliche fluff that looks dont matter that much and its all about perosnality but its bs..most women are as shallo was men..If u arent attratcive then good luck unless u have amazing wealth or status..
MrNate Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Goes without saying..Women will try to give u cliche fluff that looks dont matter that much and its all about perosnality but its bs..most women are as shallo was men..If u arent attratcive then good luck unless u have amazing wealth or status.. I wouldn't say looks don't matter to them. I can't tell you how many time I've seen girl friends pull up pictures of guys and say ' oh yeah girl, he's cute'. I think looks play an important factor to both genders, but that men tend to place more weight on them than necessary. I think the pressure is more on women as far as looks go, while the pressure on men is more on the intangibles (attitude, style, confidence). Either way, both take work and aren't easily achieved.
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