D-Lish Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Very true. I hate being insecure, (Who doesn't?) but I don't see my insecurity going away. Even if it did a little bit, I'd feel tons better. I've got just about ZERO confidence. The last thing girls want - from what I can understand - is an insecure guy.. I'm working on it. How are you working on it? What are you doing to change it? I am super insecure, always have been, but I rarely let anyone know it. I play the role of being confident and "pretending" actually helps to develop and inspire more confidence.
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 How are you working on it? What are you doing to change it? I am super insecure, always have been, but I rarely let anyone know it. I play the role of being confident and "pretending" actually helps to develop and inspire more confidence. First of all, I've lost some weight. About 20 pounds since March just by eating LESS. I still eat unhealthily, but like I said, I portion it out better. That has helped a little bit, as I've been able to wear less baggy shirts. It's still difficult to find shirts that fit me the way that I'd like, but... eh. I can't do the whole pretending thing. I really can't. I'm a real failure when it comes to faking anything. What else am I doing to change it? I TRY to be more optimistic... I'm finding it nearly impossible. I mean I have phases, but then it tails off and I fall right back into being a pessimist again. I really think I have some sort of mental problem, like bipolarity or depression.
D-Lish Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 First of all, I've lost some weight. About 20 pounds since March just by eating LESS. I still eat unhealthily, but like I said, I portion it out better. That has helped a little bit, as I've been able to wear less baggy shirts. It's still difficult to find shirts that fit me the way that I'd like, but... eh. I can't do the whole pretending thing. I really can't. I'm a real failure when it comes to faking anything. What else am I doing to change it? I TRY to be more optimistic... I'm finding it nearly impossible. I mean I have phases, but then it tails off and I fall right back into being a pessimist again. I really think I have some sort of mental problem, like bipolarity or depression. Maybe depression, but I don't get a bi-polar vibe.... But I am not a doctor. You're kidding yourself if you think you can't play pretend. Take acting classes!
mogul Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I was borderline 16 or almost 17. The girl was 19 and in college at the time. In regards to your chest, just work out. Bench press and cardio does wonder. Honestly, if its not against your morals, it is best to just have fun at that age rather than "finding the right one" and "love" to have sex.
Shakz Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Please don't take offense OBF, but from your avi you really don't look 19, more like 16. Of course, I realize it's only one picture. That could be a reason why women your age call you cute but don't think of you as dating material. Maybe a change of hairstyle? As for me I was 15 and my 17-year-old sister dragged me to a party that turned out to be just a house full of her girlfriends. She thought I needed to get out more. I got out alright. And in. And out. And in. And out. And a rash.
Green Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Please don't take offense OBF, but from your avi you really don't look 19, more like 16. Of course, I realize it's only one picture. That could be a reason why women your age call you cute but don't think of you as dating material. Maybe a change of hairstyle? As for me I was 15 and my 17-year-old sister dragged me to a party that turned out to be just a house full of her girlfriends. She thought I needed to get out more. I got out alright. And in. And out. And in. And out. And a rash. Please the only reason he doesn't have a gf is that he is his own worst enemy. His lack of confidence keeps him from asking girls out and kissing them. He holds the key... all he has to do is Ask girls out and face rejection. He has to decide girls are fun instead of scary and TRY to TOUCH and KISS them. His looks are fine and if anything girls love guys with baby faces.
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 I've been told I look 14 a lot. So I'm used to that. As far as my chest, exercise won't do anything if it's gynecomastia, which it probably is.
gamma1 Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Makes me feel like I'm undateable. I haven't had a real girlfriend or kissed, so I've had to turn to the internet for a relationship, which is super hard. I digress. Anyone willing to share? I'm just curious! Maybe I'm not so alone. I'm in my late 30s and have not even been close. You have a lot of time at 19, so don't worry. However, you don't want to reach 30 and still be a virgin as sometime around then it will start to become a huge negative to many women.
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 I'm in my late 30s and have not even been close. You have a lot of time at 19, so don't worry. However, you don't want to reach 30 and still be a virgin as sometime around then it will start to become a huge negative to many women. I'm not rushing it or anything... I JUST WISH IT WOULD HAPPEN!
Shakz Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I've been told I look 14 a lot. So I'm used to that. As far as my chest, exercise won't do anything if it's gynecomastia, which it probably is. If you were 14 I would say that was probably it but it's very, very rare for a nineteen-year-old to have gynecomastia. It's usually gone a cuople of years after puberty. Give exercise a try and see if it does make a difference.
Mikki Mars Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 first kiss: 18 years first fuсk: TBD (idk if I wanna be alive anymore if I can't have it before my 22nd birthday, and I'm a guy)
SilentVoice Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I've been told I look 14 a lot. So I'm used to that. As far as my chest, exercise won't do anything if it's gynecomastia, which it probably is. Do you drink soy milk ? Silly question but soy milk is one of the foods that contains estrogen which causes gynecomastia . But with a change of diet and exercise it can be cured.
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 If you were 14 I would say that was probably it but it's very, very rare for a nineteen-year-old to have gynecomastia. It's usually gone a cuople of years after puberty. Give exercise a try and see if it does make a difference. It doesn't feel like fat though when I 'pinch' underneath it. And I've lost about 20 pounds like I said and no change has happened up there. If there has, it's been completely minor. EDIT: No, I drink regular milk. I do eat garbage. A LOT of fast food. Wouldn't doubt it if that's causing it.
gamma1 Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I'm not rushing it or anything... I JUST WISH IT WOULD HAPPEN! Most virgins at 19 are not virgins a few years later. Try to go on dates without any expectations. The more dates you go on, the easier it will get. You are still in your teens. Just keep reminding yourself that you have a lot of time. The one thing you don't want to do is lose your confidence and not even try. Unfortunately, that's what I did at your age and for many years after.
Mikki Mars Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 It doesn't feel like fat though when I 'pinch' underneath it. And I've lost about 20 pounds like I said and no change has happened up there. If there has, it's been completely minor. EDIT: No, I drink regular milk. I do eat garbage. A LOT of fast food. Wouldn't doubt it if that's causing it. then either beg your parents to pay for surgery and threaten suicide, hell try a phony suicide attempt, or save up the money or if you have a trust fund, invest in your existence. Clearly this means a lot to you or you wouldn't be on this forum right now. I almost coerced my folks into chin surgery until I lost weight. If there were a height surgery that could make me 5'7'' or more, I'd probably have had it by now because at 5'1" and male, its truly a profound disadvantage.
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 It does bother me, but I'm too scared of surgery. Especially unnecessary surgery. I'll live with it. I'll just make sure to keep my shirt on at all times.
gamma1 Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Don't be ashamed of your appearance. It is so often that someone will think there is something wrong when there really is nothing wrong. Sometimes it gets to the point where appeance doesn't hurt at all, but lack of confidence in appearance does hurt.
Mikki Mars Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 It does bother me, but I'm too scared of surgery. Especially unnecessary surgery. I'll live with it. I'll just make sure to keep my shirt on at all times. If its honestly only a matter of fear, then GET OVER IT!!! I wish my problem were only that. At my rate, to grow 4 inches MAX, it would cost over 80k dollars and a year of wheelchair. Consider yourself lucky.
Author OrdealByFire Posted July 25, 2010 Author Posted July 25, 2010 Being short's not so much a problem. Having any type of moobage? Methinks there aren't (m)any girls out there that don't mind them.
Ms_Sweetness Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I was 14 and it was with someone I was "in love" with. Ok, not sure I was in love but he treated me with the utmost respect and I don't regret losing it to him one bit. I'm thankful to have lost it to such a great man.
Mikki Mars Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Being short's not so much a problem. Having any type of moobage? Methinks there aren't (m)any girls out there that don't mind them. what is "moobage?"
nothappyjan Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 it was a month before i turned 24 which was basically a month ago. Saved it for a good guy and i dont think i would have been able to deal with issues such as possible pregnancy etc at a younger age.
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