zengirl Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 You are a woman. On dating sites, even Brad Pitt would only get no more than 3 messages a week. I wouldn't go that far, but yeah, men will spam anything and most women wait for folks to write them. That said, most of my male friends who've done OKCupid had at least a 50% return-rate on their messages. I know 'cause I used to help them write messages and write their profiles. (And, frankly, guys have dropped off the planet when I was messaging them, too, or not responded to a first message from me, and I am an attractive twentysomething girl. Sometimes I think you just happen to message someone when they're thinking about/dating/have met someone else. Or you're just not their cuppa tea.)
jamesum Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I wouldn't go that far, but yeah, men will spam anything and most women wait for folks to write them. That said, most of my male friends who've done OKCupid had at least a 50% return-rate on their messages. I know 'cause I used to help them write messages and write their profiles. (And, frankly, guys have dropped off the planet when I was messaging them, too, or not responded to a first message from me, and I am an attractive twentysomething girl. Sometimes I think you just happen to message someone when they're thinking about/dating/have met someone else. Or you're just not their cuppa tea.) I was merely pointing out the general unbalanced proportion of the messages that men and women receive on dating sites.
Star Gazer Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 It seems from the comments in this thread that your profile has changed significantly since you posted the link. Personally, as it is currently written, the profile alone does nothing for me and wouldn't inspire me to contact you or respond to you. Nevertheless, IME with online dating, what generates a response is a personalized message from someone I find attractive. If it seemed like they sent me the same message they sent everyone else, they wouldn't get a response, no matter how interesting or attractive they seemed - because hey, if they can't make it clear that they're interested in ME, then it's just not worth it. If they were clearly outside of what I was looking for (as clearly posted on my profile), then they wouldn't get a response either. I suspect you haven't been getting a response because (1) your previous profile was pretty negative and grouchy sounding, and (2) you're sending messages that seem pretty boilerplate. Can you cut-and-paste and example of one of the 100 messages you've sent?
hopesndreams Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 Your profile shaped up a bit. There is a typo though for the sky pic.
bac Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 IMO, for online dating a man should present yourself as 'easy to get' according to his profile and as hot and sexy in his pictures. Here is an example of a profile that might work out well with girls, even it sounds totally stupied to men. "I'm a very caring, warm hearted, and giving person. I love to sit with a loved one and snuggle and cuddle. I enjoy things like yard work, taking long walks just holding hands and talking to one another, going out or dinning in doesn't matter to me spending time together and having open communication that's what is important. I'm looking for someone who wants open communication, affection, support and to be best friends first. I would like to meet someone who can walk side by side with me not in front of or behind me. I want someone who I can grow old with and look into their eyes 50 years from now and still feel that chill I felt when I first laid eyes on them. If this sounds interesting to you then drop me an e-mail. " As for pictures, every man has something attractive, hot and sexy. It is good to have creative and quality pictures which show your strengths. The pictures should be a strong turn on. If you have great eyes, take picture of your eye. If you have nice body, show some of your body close and at a right angle. If you have no extrapounds, show it in a creative way. In other words, if you do not advertise your best features, girls assume that you do not have them.
Star Gazer Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 IMO, for online dating a man should present yourself as 'easy to get' according to his profile and as hot and sexy in his pictures. Here is an example of a profile that might work out well with girls, even it sounds totally stupied to men. "I'm a very caring, warm hearted, and giving person. I love to sit with a loved one and snuggle and cuddle. I enjoy things like yard work, taking long walks just holding hands and talking to one another, going out or dinning in doesn't matter to me spending time together and having open communication that's what is important. I'm looking for someone who wants open communication, affection, support and to be best friends first. I would like to meet someone who can walk side by side with me not in front of or behind me. I want someone who I can grow old with and look into their eyes 50 years from now and still feel that chill I felt when I first laid eyes on them. If this sounds interesting to you then drop me an e-mail. Oh G-D no! This is just...cheese, to the extreme. I'd think this guy would break down crying during our first date when he started talking about his childhood hamster that died.
Art_Critic Posted July 25, 2010 Posted July 25, 2010 I'd think this guy would break down crying during our first date when he started talking about his childhood hamster that died. ............
zengirl Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 I was merely pointing out the general unbalanced proportion of the messages that men and women receive on dating sites. Oh, I was half-agreeing with you, with some caveats. Not really arguing.
zengirl Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Here is an example of a profile that might work out well with girls, even it sounds totally stupied to men. "I'm a very caring, warm hearted, and giving person. I love to sit with a loved one and snuggle and cuddle. I enjoy things like yard work, taking long walks just holding hands and talking to one another, going out or dinning in doesn't matter to me spending time together and having open communication that's what is important. I'm looking for someone who wants open communication, affection, support and to be best friends first. I would like to meet someone who can walk side by side with me not in front of or behind me. I want someone who I can grow old with and look into their eyes 50 years from now and still feel that chill I felt when I first laid eyes on them. If this sounds interesting to you then drop me an e-mail. I would never, ever write back to a guy with that in his profile. In my view, the best profiles are the ones that show who you are, with an emphasis on your best qualities, in a Show, Don't Tell, fashion. Meaning, if you are intelligent, don't tell me you are: Sound intelligent. Don't tell me your adventurous: Write about a specific adventure. Don't tell me you're caring: Write about what you care about. It's more about painting a picture. Never write about cuddling, I'd say. I find that creepy (not cuddling, but writing about it!) and know many girls who do. (Maybe this is an age thing?) I'm also not a big fan of folks who write too much about what kind of partner they want. A line or two, maybe, if it's interesting and not generic (I'm going to assume everyone wants someone honest, kind, compatible, etc). But people who blather on and on about the kind of relationship they want strike me as (a) too needy, (b) too picky, or © too self-centered. They already have a "spot" waiting. It's not about me. It's about filling that slot.
SadandConfusedWA Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 Brutal honesty: When responding to guy, I look at pictures first. If they are attractive enough and are taller than me (>5'8") then I proceed to read their profile. In the profile, I look for sings that the guy is into casual hook ups, arrogant a$$ or has any interests that I absolutely can not stand. If none of these are in the profile, I will respond. I don't care much for profile being boring (as long as it doesn't sound fake and is more than few sentences long).
SpanksTheMonkey Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 If you're going to call yourself putting your best foot forward on a dating site, you can't upload the cellphone pics in your T-shirt, man. You have to put some nice professional looking pics on there that brings out your best features. Show some pics with you out having a good time but not like you just raided a liquor store. You don't want to look like you just hang out at home. Any vacation pics? I would avoid the opening line about the home as well. Just doesn't sound right. Putting pets in pics shows that you can love and care for something besides yourself. If you have a dog, you should take a nice pic with it and upload it. It's attractive. I can't walk my dogs up the street without women harassing them. This is good advice a cute dog/cat or even better a kitten/puppy is always a good idea it just speaks to women on some frequency that men just cant hear lol.. Theres nothing wrong with your profile that I saw so I really don't know what to say about that. My advice unless you really hate animals or are allergic or something get the cutest puppy you can and take him to as many crowded dog parks as you can and chat up the women trust me they wont be hard to find im serious if on line dating isent working try something else.
CaliGuy Posted July 26, 2010 Posted July 26, 2010 This is becoming comical now. I have contacted 100 women on a dating site. Not one of them has replied. OP, I wouldn't worry about it. I think there was a lawsuit against a couple of dating sites (one of them was Yahoo if I recall) for posting FAKE accounts. What they would do is when a person's account was about to expire they'd all the sudden start receiving emails from "interesting" people. As it turns out, it was a way the web site could "entice" people to renew their subscription. Honestly, I highly recommend you just meeting people in person and drop the online dating sites. They aren't interesting in helping you find a match, they are interested in making money.
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