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Serenitynow

By Serenitynow
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USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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@USMCHokie: XD Oh crap. I didn't mean it like that, lol. I dug myself into a hole accidently insulting you.

 

Heheh, no worries! Just messing with ya. ;) I know I am turning into a bit of an attention whore... :o

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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One of the dating websites did an informal study on it. It is one of the best photos you can put up as a guy. If you have one at the beach or doing something other than standing in a bathroom taking a pic of yourself in the mirror... Instant win!

 

Women who say they don't like them... actually do.

 

Actually... it gets a similar increased response rate as cleavage shots for women. When you see a photo with nice cleavage... do you think... Ugh... not again... how immature... I would never date a girl like that? :laugh: Nope... me either.

 

Hmmm...duly noted... :rolleyes::laugh:

Enchanted Girl Established Member

Enchanted Girl

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One of the dating websites did an informal study on it. It is one of the best photos you can put up as a guy. If you have one at the beach or doing something other than standing in a bathroom taking a pic of yourself in the mirror... Instant win!

 

Women who say they don't like them... actually do.

 

Actually... it gets a similar increased response rate as cleavage shots for women. When you see a photo with nice cleavage... do you think... Ugh... not again... how immature... I would never date a girl like that? :laugh: Nope... me either.

 

Thanks for telling me what *I* would find attractive. I was willing to believe this post (because I'm not all women and can't say what all women find attractive), until you said: "Women who say they don't like them... actually do."

 

Women are not just visual. Let me put it this way . . . . I'm not claiming that if a man I was interested in lifted up his shirt and he had amazing abs, that I'd run away screaming. Of course I would like it, BUT . . . .

 

Pictures are about more than just the sex appeal for a woman. They're also about what message they are sending across. And to me, when a guy has shirtless pictures of himself, I feel that he's sending a horrible message about his obsession with looks and about his huge ego and when I feel someone has a bad personality, then no amount of abs or muscles or whatever could ever hope to make up for it.

MisUnderstanding Established Member

MisUnderstanding

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Well first I want to say that POF isn't as terrible as you all say, there ARE worthy people on that site.

 

But one thing I have to say... you guys made Serenity's profile so generic. I like outdoors and "this" kind of music, I am athletic and eat well... come on! That's what EVERYBODY's profile says. Profiles like that made me want to yawn. Say something very specific about yourself, something that would make you stand out, something personal. There has to be something that you absolutely love or hate.

Sabali Established Member

Sabali

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Those arent cell phones pix. They were taken with an expensive camera. The site loves to jack up the quality when you upload them.

 

I dont know, or have ever known any guys that take cameras with them to take pictures of each other when you are out doing stuff together.

 

 

Where did I mention others guys in my post? I suggested you using pictures of you somewhere having a good time. It could be with Minnie Mouse as long as it is someplace not next to a toilet or something. Just consider it...

Untouchable_Fire Established Member

Untouchable_Fire

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Thanks for telling me what *I* would find attractive. I was willing to believe this post (because I'm not all women and can't say what all women find attractive), until you said: "Women who say they don't like them... actually do."

Women are not just visual. Let me put it this way . . . . I'm not claiming that if a man I was interested in lifted up his shirt and he had amazing abs, that I'd run away screaming. Of course I would like it, BUT . . . .

Pictures are about more than just the sex appeal for a woman. They're also about what message they are sending across. And to me, when a guy has shirtless pictures of himself, I feel that he's sending a horrible message about his obsession with looks and about his huge ego and when I feel someone has a bad personality, then no amount of abs or muscles or whatever could ever hope to make up for it.

 

EG, here is the article I was referencing. It has some really interesting info.

 

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/

 

I would guess that your overall level of insecurity is what makes the abs photo a mental turn off for you. However, if one of those guys started hitting on you, you would probably respond very favorably. Why? Because those guys are not all self absorbed douchbags. Your stereotype just would not hold water.

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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By the way.. Good changes...

Change the slang of outta the house to out of the house,,

 

off topic.. but I lived for years in Boardman, Canfield, Salem and some of my Family is from Columbiana and Poland.

I went to Salem Middle School many years ago...

Enchanted Girl Established Member

Enchanted Girl

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EG, here is the article I was referencing. It has some really interesting info.

 

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/

 

I would guess that your overall level of insecurity is what makes the abs photo a mental turn off for you. However, if one of those guys started hitting on you, you would probably respond very favorably. Why? Because those guys are not all self absorbed douchbags. Your stereotype just would not hold water.

 

Of course. First impressions aren't everything.

 

And like I've said before, I do really think looks don't matter when it comes to dating (at least they don't for me) and if I were to hate a guy for being muscular like that, it would be judging him based on his looks just as much as hating a guy for being ugly or something.

 

I wouldn't respond favorably if he turned out to really be a douchebag though. Like I said, abs aren't everything.

 

I was talking about first impressions, which is what you get when you view someone's profile and that kind of first impression isn't a good one for me.

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Serenitynow Established Member

Serenitynow

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I'll go tomorrow and buy a nice low cut top, and a push up bra.

zengirl Established Member

zengirl

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Because I already checked it out last month. I know it hard to beleive, because everyone keeps telling me the same thing. But this area has the SAME women on different sites, match, yahoo, POF, OKcupid, etc.
Then just stop online dating. Nobody’s making you do it, are they? If you’re so sure it’s useless. . . and these women are all just internet dating junkies. . . why bother?

 

I understand it shows interest. But that does NOTHING to help me decide if I'm going to date her. Only mature, well rounded people have pets ?

 

Thats the same exact thing as me posting a pic of my drag car. And women would turn their nose up at me if I did it. But if they show an interest of theirs, than its ok.

Okay, first the attitude here is probably part of what’s dragging you down.

 

But more the point, I like it when men show pictures of themselves with their pets. (I don’t have pets now or any pet pictures, but I’m a pet lover and have had many in the past who live with my parents now.) People can bond over that mutual interest. Those pictures attract other pet lovers.

 

There are more pet lovers than drag car lovers out there. There are pet lovers of either gender, too! I don’t know girls who put up pictures of themselves watching Twilight or shopping for shoes on dating sites because why would that be something they have in common with men? I’m sure a picture of you with your drag car might help attract a drag car lover. But is such a woman out there? And in what numbers? That’s the question.

 

That said, I’ve no issue with men who post pictures of themselves doing hobbies I don’t particularly dig but maybe dig in a guy. I’ve seen great dating site pictures of guys surfing, playing guitar, fixing a computer, or any number of things. Generally the best pictures are pictures that you took anyway, not just for the dating site. Pictures that just show you being who you are. (And yes, pet lovers take pictures of themselves with their pets. Some take these a lot.)

 

One of the dating websites did an informal study on it. It is one of the best photos you can put up as a guy. If you have one at the beach or doing something other than standing in a bathroom taking a pic of yourself in the mirror... Instant win!
Yeah, I remember that. It was interesting. I like the OKCupid blog.

 

They showed that the men had marginally more success in getting a reply than men doing something interesting (which they pointed out in other studies tends to provoke longer conversations; they can only track message numbers). But it did dispel the dating myth that it was an instant No-No. Pet pictures were the best of all! :)

 

Keep in mind, they can’t tell you anything about the quality of messages or women you attract (which I think is more the issue with the straight up “Headless Horseman” ab shot, as the study calls them). Activity shots are fine and don't send the same vibe at all. In some instances, they lumped all the shots together. I don’t think it’s the abs that turns a gal off – for me, it’s more the, “Really, you decided to stand in front of a mirror and/or have someone take a picture of you shirtless in your house? You are so not relationship material” aspect that makes these problematic for serious guys looking for something real.

 

FWIW, I’m generally against shirtless pictures (and have discarded many a message because of them). I did go on a few dates with one guy who had a really awesome diving-into-a-cove underwater photo and he happened to be shirtless on the picture but his face was more prominent, and he clearly picked it because it showed him at a hobby and was an awesome action photograph (from a photo composition POV, not just of him). Lifestyle shots like that are fine, if it doesn’t scream, “Look at my abs!”

 

I’m always against photoshopping or anything dishonest. Really, you’re going to see the person eventually. Why bother?

Edited by zengirl
BobSacamento Established Member

BobSacamento

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Are you messaging 24 year olds?

 

I've actually took down my pictures recently because I didn't like the ones I had and didn't have any recent pictures. My cell phone takes crap photos.

 

Anyway I figured I'd just lay low for a bit on the site. Weird thing happened, I've actually recently received a few messages. I usually got a 10% response rate but this is a totally different territory.

Untouchable_Fire Established Member

Untouchable_Fire

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I’m always against photoshopping or anything dishonest. Really, you’re going to see the person eventually. Why bother?

 

Oh... Oh... I agree with you 100% on one of your posts! :lmao:

Knittress Established Member

Knittress

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ZenGirl... or was that EnchantedGirl? ... well probably BOTH of them, made tons of really good points.

 

I approve of the positive-toned rewrite, but I'd still probably ignore you out of the sheer generic vibe your profile gives off. Could you exude a bit of quirk or humor, perhaps?

MrNate Established Member

MrNate

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Whatever you do, don't give up bud! Consider every option out there. You can do it.

alexlakeman Established Member

alexlakeman

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Theres actually more women with pics of themselves standing in front of vehicles, or laying on them, than guys doing the same on this site.

 

I also see TONS of women posting pics of their pets on their profile. I would love to understand what that has to do with dating.

 

Not on match.. I've only seen one profile with a woman in front of her car. You must be on a free site... you get what you pay for..

 

 

 

Thats your opinion Clarabelle. 80% of the women worth dating on this site comment how they want a guy that is mature and can stand on his own two feet. I am simply reacting to the profiles I read.

 

She's right... forget that bs about "own your own home"... lol, who cares... sh.it happens in life, why judge someone if they own a home or their net worth??

 

Those arent cell phones pix. They were taken with an expensive camera. The site loves to jack up the quality when you upload them.

 

I dont know, or have ever known any guys that take cameras with them to take pictures of each other when you are out doing stuff together.

 

 

Huh/?? I take my camera when I go on trips... On my profile, I have pics at the beach, pool, at a party, at home, uhh... outdoors, mountain biking.. just random pics that I look good in that freinds have taken... put some effort into it, lol

 

 

Because I already checked it out last month. I know it hard to beleive, because everyone keeps telling me the same thing. But this area has the SAME women on different sites, match, yahoo, POF, OKcupid, etc.

 

Just spend $40 or so on match, which is less than you would spend at a happy hour, and give a paid site a try, without being so negative... that's a plan for failure...:o

Krytie TV Established Member

Krytie TV

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This is becoming comical now. I have contacted 100 women on a dating site. Not one of them has replied.

 

Wow, that sounds exactly like my job search.

Pfiend101 Established Member

Pfiend101

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I don't personally recommend match.com. Same situation for me. Not alot of replies and women were just looking for attention through emails. Then when someone agreed to meetup they would flakeout last minute. :rolleyes:

Art_Critic Established Member

Art_Critic

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By the way.. have you looked at your chemistry results..

 

You say you are open but your chemistry results say you lack openness..

Maybe that is some of the issues with getting no responses.

It also says you lack self control and are very easygoing..

 

Is there a way of removing your chemistry values or retaking the test to improve those areas ?

K'aycie Established Member

K'aycie

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Dating. Finding someone that you are compatible with, that's a good match (let alone online) - is really just a crap shoot.

 

Being at the right place, at the right time, with the right person and those two people out of millions finding one another.

 

Life is so zesty!! :bunny::)

Raderick Established Member

Raderick

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Are you serious? What have you been saying to them? What's on your profile?

 

The one time I was on a dating site (and I'm not that attractive or anything), I contacted about 10 people and got 5 replies.

 

Maybe you're on the wrong dating site as well.

 

It's also because you're a woman. Women receive more first contacts than men, and for men to get the first message equals instant interest.

jamesum Established Member

jamesum

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Are you serious? What have you been saying to them? What's on your profile?

 

The one time I was on a dating site (and I'm not that attractive or anything), I contacted about 10 people and got 5 replies.

 

Maybe you're on the wrong dating site as well.

You are a woman.

 

On dating sites, even Brad Pitt would only get no more than 3 messages a week. :laugh:

 

Seriously, my aunt uses Plentyoffish as well. Honestly I think she is far from attractive, but Im surprised that every day she still manages to get a lot of messages and she has to fill through them and just pick the best looking one and forget the rest.

 

So all Im saying is when a woman message a guy, of course he will feel so special because your message is gonna be the only one in his inbox and surely he is going to respond. :D

Edited by jamesum
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