Sabali Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 I'd say it's a big red flag that she openly admits to being moody and bitchy so much. What would it be like down the road if you guys got more serious? She seems to have a lot of excuses.... Damn, I was thinking the same thing but didn't go there. I feel a connection here.
Sabali Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 If you didn't seem to be so into this girl, I would say just forget it. But since you do seem super into her, I think you should try to switch the texting to calls. You can tell a lot by tone and she might be more likely to open up on the phone. If I can accomplish one thing in life, it is stopping those romantic/relationship related text messages. Live by the text, die by the text. By texting so much you are telling a person "by the way, this is also the form of communication I prefer for arguments, informing me that you slept with the mailman, that our youngest child is not mine and that you want a divorce."
Author gizbug Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 She loves to text. She is not allowed to talk on her phone at work, and it's not good for me to do that in cockpit sitting at a gate. So we text. But everyone brings up excellent points. As for the mass amounts of text posted from her above, they came over a 1/2 hour period with replies from me. They were not all at once. I do see red flags, and will ease back on the gas. Again, easier said than done as I get a few texts a day from her. I will work tomorrow to just lay low on replies. As far as kissing, hit 3rd base for those who use that term. She did not want to go all the way, yet. The big red flag for me is that I get provocative pics from her, yet we've known each other a month, and she would not go farther than 3rd. My cousin, who is 2 yrs younger than me, and a woman, said this is a major concern to her. This girl dangles this stuff out there, yet you fly down there and she pulls back. Granted, I'm not out just for sex and get out. Not by a long shot. I have feelings for this girl. As for options, I keep them open. I've gone on a few dates local with women, so I don't think I'm putting all my eggs in one basket. Next time I see her (as I think it should be face to face, no email, phone or text) I will say that I feel like I am getting mixed signals from her. You send me these pics, text all the time, yet you like me, enjoy spending time with me, but in the end, you are still hurt from your past, walls are up, and can't move forward yet. At that point I will have to make a decision if this is worth it or not. As for tomorrow (today) I will just lay low with the texts. I am sure to get a few from her. Maybe I will just leave the phone off/at home, head to the beach, and enjoy my day off, and not revolve around having to text her back right away. Thanks again for the tips.
D-Lish Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 One of my closest male friends is a pilot- and he has the means and opportunity to date/sleep with a whole pile of women. I'm sure you have the same opportunities. I think if you were to pull back, resist texting, she'd be one of those women that would come on stronger. In my opinion, as a woman, she's a walking red flag.
Author gizbug Posted July 23, 2010 Author Posted July 23, 2010 Thanks D-LISH. I will avoid responding to any texts tomorrow. if she calls later in the evening I will pick up and talk, but I will just skip the texts tomorrow and see what happens. I did not see her tonight. She informed me after I asked about why the date did not happen, that she has been moody / bitchy all week, and didn't think her company would be any good given her state. I then told her I didn't mind, and she said she didn't know I wanted to see her that bad. I've made it evident, but oh well. I want to bring up the pictures / lack of a commitment to her. I truly feel it should be something I bring up in person, opposed to phone/text/email. Would you agree? If that is the case, next weekend is a tentative date with her. I kind of what to email her the concerns, as she has told me if something is bothering me, to tell her. But I am not sure if the point would hit home with an email or phone call. BTW - looking for a relationship, just not sleep around with women.
D-Lish Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 Thanks D-LISH. I will avoid responding to any texts tomorrow. if she calls later in the evening I will pick up and talk, but I will just skip the texts tomorrow and see what happens. I did not see her tonight. She informed me after I asked about why the date did not happen, that she has been moody / bitchy all week, and didn't think her company would be any good given her state. I then told her I didn't mind, and she said she didn't know I wanted to see her that bad. I've made it evident, but oh well. I want to bring up the pictures / lack of a commitment to her. I truly feel it should be something I bring up in person, opposed to phone/text/email. Would you agree? If that is the case, next weekend is a tentative date with her. I kind of what to email her the concerns, as she has told me if something is bothering me, to tell her. But I am not sure if the point would hit home with an email or phone call. BTW - looking for a relationship, just not sleep around with women. I guess what I really meant was that given your ability to travel so freely, that your options are greater than those of us that can't operate in this manner. My friend will simply pick up and go to LV for the weekend simply because he can. You can live in Chicago and have a gf in Ohio, the same barriers of LDR that apply to us don't apply to you. I would go so far as to leave her alone for 48 hours or more. She seems like the type of girl that responds to rejection over attention. That should be yet another red flag- but that's neither here nor there. You pull away, she responds. When you push, she seems to play games. She's openly admitted to having a mood disorder. Don't over-think things here my friend- she's a handful waiting to happen. She's even told you this outright.
Sabali Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 (edited) She loves to text. She is not allowed to talk on her phone at work, and it's not good for me to do that in cockpit sitting at a gate. So we text. I thought it was not good to even text in the cockpit. I would rather someone was actually talking on the phone than staring at a cellphone screen while operating, personally. Why must she talk at work.?Work is for working. What ever happening to "I will call you once I am off work?" I am telling you, beware of those that are obsessed with communication other than speaking to your ear. I am not saying an occasional text and email is bad but when it becomes a fifth of your communication or more, you have something on your hand. I would be careful of rationalizing red flags too much. This woman doesn't sound like she is worth your time but, hey, maybe you need to experience this so if you continue just be careful. By the way, if am someone loves texting this much, you are not the only focus of the texts. Think about the guy who may be reading your replies. Edited July 23, 2010 by Sabali
Chocolat Posted July 23, 2010 Posted July 23, 2010 The big red flag for me is that I get provocative pics from her, yet we've known each other a month, and she would not go farther than 3rd. Um, yeah. This is a big red flag to me. When I couple this behavior with her other behavior (texts, excuses, etc.) what I see is a woman who wants to keep the attention high but has no intention of forming an adult relationship with you. My cousin, who is 2 yrs younger than me, and a woman, said this is a major concern to her. I am with your cousin. This woman is going to hurt you if you don't get out now. She will continue to feed you just enough so you keep coming around but never enough that you will feel sated.
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