Jessi.82 Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Here's the deal. I'm 28. working a bull**** job for the summer, and i've got a thing for one of the trainers there. He's easily 20-25 years older than me - not an issue for me however, and I think he's into it too. I'm slightly hesitant to persue however, because I'm not sure how the superior/subordinate relationship is viewed at work. I've looked at the HR employee policy manual, but there was no mention of inter-office dating. My other issue - I don't know how to get this person alone, as there is no legit reason for he and I to be alone. Suggestions?
Holding-On Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 When the end of summer nears (in a couple of weeks or so), ask him for his contact information, e-mail also, as a job reference. Viola! You can now contact him in 4 or 5 weeks, once you are done working there. No drama for him, no drama for you.
Author Jessi.82 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 i just want to get to know this person. is it THAT frowned upon? also i can't wait 4-5 weeks to see this person outside of work. call me impatient. but i dont think i could see this man every day for 5 weeks, and not ask him out at least once. not a bad suggestion however. i mean, worst case scenario - that's what i'll do. i just don't want to get him in trouble. i dont care about my job. if i lose it i lose it. i find another one. but he's a little more established there than i am.
Curt Posted July 20, 2010 Moderators Posted July 20, 2010 Jessi, What do you know about him? Is he single? Attached? Anything at all? Curt
Author Jessi.82 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) i know he's not married. has 2 kids - but they're grown. likes soccer. thats about it. so to answer your question - not much. lol Edited July 20, 2010 by Jessi.82
Curt Posted July 20, 2010 Moderators Posted July 20, 2010 i know he's not married. has 2 kids - but they're grown. likes soccer. thats about it. so to answer your question - not much. lol Jess, Raw curiosity ... when you think about how you feel about him, how do you see him? I guess what I'm trying to get at is whether this is something that's coming from your appreciation of him as a superior (his manners, his being dynamic or interesting, etc.) or is it coming from your appreciation for him at a more primal level (you know, is he handsome, sexy?) lol ... Jessi you wouldn't believe how weird it felt for me to write that about a dude ... Just wondering about what the feelings really are... Curt
EasyHeart Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 If there's no official policy on inter-office dating, then you should be okay from a legal standpoint. It sounds like you don't plan to stay there too long, so it's mostly an issue for him. I'd suggest using the next few weeks to get to know him and save any actual dating until after you leave. And frankly, if he's any half-way decent guy, there's no way he would date someone who works for him. Just flirt and let him know you're interested, then let him take it from there. Be aware that HE will likely be extremely cautious about flirting/hitting on a subordinate (unless he's a total creep), so you may have to be persistent and a little more obvious than in the usual situation.
Author Jessi.82 Posted July 20, 2010 Author Posted July 20, 2010 curt - its def on a primal level.. like, the feeling i get when he smiles at me. Its not how i view the working relationship, or his inlufence/power. its him. and like i said, i think he's into it, or at least flattered. he strikes up convos with me, when i'm waiting for a friend. or i ask him questions i know the answer to, just so i can talk to him. if anything, he's on to me! lol Easy - i don't think he's a total creep. he seems really reserved. and mild mannered (i know i know.. he could still be a creep) but i dont get a creepish vibe from him. he doesn't look at me like a ham sandwhich. he looks at me i think with the same kinda intrigue that i look at him with. so i think i'm just going to let him know whats up - let him decide where to go. i mean, going for a latte or something can't be the worst thing ever. and there is no official stance on it. so we'll see i guess. i was so stoked to go to work yesterday...and i get there, and he wasn't there. it was the worst. is this too lame, if i get him alone, and tell him i'm gonna be somewhere, on this day, at this time. and if he wants to be there, thats cool...and if not, thats cool too?
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