bobdole Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 (edited) What impression does it give you when a woman has kids that don't live with her? (This in my mind mostly pertains to otherwise attractive women on online dating sites) I admit I'd probably never date a woman who's kids lives with her for the fact that the kids always come first, as they should really - but I guess I'm selfish and I want to come first... But when the kids don't live with her that complication is at least reduced significantly. However that gives me the impression that she isn't a "good person". She was to unstable either in lifestyle or mentally to be a mother or something to that effect and that leads me to want to date her even less. I'm curious if this attitude is common or if I'm just strange heh. How do you all feel on the subject. Edited July 20, 2010 by bobdole
MisUnderstanding Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Who gets children's full custody is decided by the judge as part of the divorce/custody processes. The judge may decide that one parent is more fit than the other due to many reasons, and not always because of one being a "good" person and other one being "bad". It could be because one has a better lawyer, or because the living situation is better, or simply because the school district is better. I wouldn't rush into jumping into conclusions as to why children aren't living with the mother and calling her a bad person.
that girl Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 Why a woman's kids don't live with her is very complicated. Some kids are off at college or boarding school. Some older kids might choose dad. Some fathers are SAHDs who are better suited to primary custody. And some people might have messed up in the past but be on the right track now.
txsilkysmoothe Posted July 20, 2010 Posted July 20, 2010 It depends on why the children don't live with her and how she feels about it. If the children were removed from her custody, it's a red flag. If she gave them up because she didn't want them, it's a red flag. If she gave them up because she couldn't raise them, it might be a red flag. It depends on how hard she tried and how she feels about it. If the father won majority custody, it might be a red flag. Those decisions aren't always fair. if she doesn't have custody because of past mistakes, but has changed and is the best mother she can be given the circumstance, then that is understandable.
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