Digs Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 OK Im gonna make this short as possible... Ive been married for 5 1/2 years, & been with her for 13 years. I'm 31 now. Im not gonna use real names, so we'll call her "Bitch" for now. Recently, she decides she's not happy, & tells me shes gonna date other guys, & wants me to date other girls, As im preparing dinner. So, we live in an apartment, and she moved back with her parents 3 weeks ago. She wanted to be seperated. Fine. Whatever... I was hurting real bad for 2 weeks. Anyway, 2 weeks ago, I decided to call her cousin that im friends with to go out & tell her what happened & BS a little. Lets call her cousin "Cutie". Ive known Cutie for about as long as ive known my wife. I only saw her on holidays, & family events. Bitch & cutie are not that close. They only see eachother on holidays, or if they need somthing from eachother. I had a feeling she always liked me, & I know I always liked her. Anyway, So 2 weeks ago I texted Cutie, told her what happened, & I took her out to a local bar/grille on a date. We talked alot about what was going on, & then went back to my apartment. We wached a few movies, laughed & had a good time. I havent felt like that in a looong time. Nothing happened, but we still had a good time. I told bitch that I had a date on saturday cause she asked, & told her it was nobody you know...LOL. So, anyway, I drive Cutie home, and she kisses me in the car. For 13 years ive been kissing her on the cheek, & now on the lips. Nice... So Cutie gets out of the car and says "If she asks how your date went, just tell her it went really well, & youll be seeing her again!" I was so happy. Took the pain right out of me. Since then, we've talked at night, Did a little texting, & a little sexting. I told her I wanted to take her out again. One night I got a little carried away with the texting/sexting & she told me I was comming on too strong & to slow it down, so I said OK & to ket me know if & when she wants to go out again. She said "I do and I will." Its been 2 weeks from when we first went out. I decided to back off for a week & let her call me. I hope I didnt blow it... I really like her. Any advice? I really like her and do not want to blow this. I can give you other detalis also...
SilentVoice Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 No advice... You need a slap, "Cutie" need a kick, and the "Wife" need to get far far away. This sounds like one big fantasy mess. I really hope that a 31 year old guy is really calling someone he has been with for 13 years a bitch. It just doesn't make any sense. I am sorry that your wife left you, but I rather refrain from commenting on her since you are capable of thinking about hooking up with her cousin 2 weeks after. I can only hope she was in good reasoning. -Sigh
alphamale Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 Any advice?... yea just kick back and have a few brewskis and let her contact you. she will if shes interested. whatever you do do not contact her first.
Author Digs Posted July 13, 2010 Author Posted July 13, 2010 No advice... You need a slap, "Cutie" need a kick, and the "Wife" need to get far far away. This sounds like one big fantasy mess. I really hope that a 31 year old guy is really calling someone he has been with for 13 years a bitch. It just doesn't make any sense. I am sorry that your wife left you, but I rather refrain from commenting on her since you are capable of thinking about hooking up with her cousin 2 weeks after. I can only hope she was in good reasoning. -Sigh Are you serious? Why did you even post?
Author Digs Posted July 13, 2010 Author Posted July 13, 2010 yea just kick back and have a few brewskis and let her contact you. she will if shes interested. whatever you do do not contact her first. Sounds good. I was planning to wait a week & call her then if she doesent call...
Pfiend101 Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 yea just kick back and have a few brewskis and let her contact you. she will if shes interested. whatever you do do not contact her first. Short and to the point. I agree.
SilentVoice Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 Are you serious? Why did you even post? Yes I was serious ,and because for some reason your post pissed me off. I am so not in a good mood. Good luck on getting advice. Hope it works out for the best .
Author Digs Posted July 13, 2010 Author Posted July 13, 2010 Yes I was serious ,and because for some reason your post pissed me off. I am so not in a good mood. Good luck on getting advice. Hope it works out for the best . Are you a guy or girl?
Author Digs Posted July 13, 2010 Author Posted July 13, 2010 I know she likes me. At what point should I call her if she doesent call back? 1 week? 2 weeks?
that girl Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 You are heading towards so much crazy, crazy drama. Or you're a troll. One or the other. One week after your wife suggests seperation you ask out her cousin on a date and are now trying to get her into bed. This family is going to crucify you and the cousin, even if you wife is a bitch, some things just aren't okay. And considering the fact that one week after the seperation you tried to get her cousin into bed, I doubt your wife just randomly up and left.
Green Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 I think calling your wife a "bich" in this thread is kinda rude. I would be really angry too if I was married and my wife left me and suggested we both se other people... But really nothing good can come of thinking of her as nasty names and dating her family members or people she knows. DRAMA is where you are headed. As for when to call, the sooner the better. Sexting sounds like a real bad idea.
vestigalvirgin Posted July 13, 2010 Posted July 13, 2010 Digs, my sense of things is that a big part of the appeal of the wife's cousin to you, is that she is the wife's cousin. And, obviously the wife's cousin feels competitive with the wife. To really stoke the cousin's lust, you need to amp up the scenario. I'm guessing she's losing a little bit of interest after the initial thrill of making out with you faded off. The way you amp this up to the max is to disclose to your wife that not only "seeing" her cousin, you are doing so with the express intent of banging her cousin. Put these two wenches in direct and knowing competition over you, that's the ticket. Obviously Digs cousin is a complete wench as she's knowingly getting involved with her cousin's estranged husband. I really hope you are not envisioning any kind of serious long term relationship with the cousin; she's just a revenge f*ck.
Author Digs Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 OK, so we've been texting back and fourth ever since. We went over a few different things, & I came to find out that the issue is NOT that its her cousin & people finding out, its just that she doesen't want to be rebound girl or a "replacement". She said I was jumping the gun ans was scared. I told her I never looked at her that way and would never treat her as one. I may have said a few stupid things to push her away, but she still communicates with me.
meerkat stew Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 Cuz iz smart, you are a classic rebounder, but she seems to be taking you seriously as a candidate for the future, which would absolutely cause all manner of family trauma, so be flattered that you have made an impression on her enough and over the years that she is even remotely considering it. Most sane women wouldn't even tread there lightly, another thing you have to consider, is cuz out of her mind by getting even some involved with you? As far as going off on your wife here, NBD, it's anonymous, and some people forget that's what this is for, else the tagline in this forum wouldn't say "stand up on your soapbox." As much as you feel you need it, you are in no shape right now to go out and start a new thing up, especially revenge motivated. Please consider cooling your relationship jets for some time and giving yourself ample time to recover from the shock your wife inflicted on you. Best wishes.
Author Digs Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 Its funny, my wife is actually helping me with this situation and giving me advice. She has no idea its her LOL! Being alone sucks & free time is killing me.... well, exept when im at the bar on friday nights drinking & partying with girls all around me. She did like the flowers I sent to her work a week ago though... I wonder what she meant when she said "replacement". Everybody becomes a replacement if there is a break-up eventually.
meerkat stew Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 It's true that everyone is some form of replacement for a person's last relationship, but what she means by her use of the term "replacement" is that though you may not even realize it yourself, in the immediate aftermath, you are seeking a replacement for your wife instead of a new, individual partner, perhaps it would have made more sense if she had said she doesn't want to be "just a warm body to fill a hole in your life" which basically equates to what she means by "replacement."
nddb Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 She has cold feet. Just kick back. If she gets the yen for it, she'll be coming around again. If not, that's life. Chasing her would be a bad move at this point.
Author Digs Posted August 3, 2010 Author Posted August 3, 2010 OK, gotcha. She said she definitly wants to hang out again, and talk face to face about this. Those were her words. She also has anxiety issues wich is not helping.
sugarmomma Posted August 3, 2010 Posted August 3, 2010 OK, gotcha. She said she definitly wants to hang out again, and talk face to face about this. Those were her words. She also has anxiety issues wich is not helping. Its a family member. Can't you find someone else to rebound with. You are sad. This thread (OP and feedback) is sickening and pathetic.
Author Digs Posted August 4, 2010 Author Posted August 4, 2010 So, how do you get someone not to feel like a rebound or replacement? Should I go find a whore first?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted August 6, 2010 Posted August 6, 2010 Keep in mind that the true good ones never go looking for mates within the relationships of others.
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