confusedmuch Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I met this guy online (I've met quite a few now) and we've just been IMing for a couple weeks. We still haven't talked on the phone though he has my number. He asked me a few days ago when I was available for a date on the weekend. I told him Sunday night. He didn't bother to try to arrange something. Today (Friday night) he asks what I'm doing and I told him I didn't know. Then he says that he thought I said I was busy the whole weekend. I then tried to explain that I never know what I'm doing Friday and Saturday. Sometimes I'm working, sometimes not. He then asked "so you kinda lied to me". Uh, yeah, I kinda did. But what is his issue? He's never even bother calling me yet he's accusing me of lying about my availability? So, am I the immature annoying girl that's playing games? Or is he just not worth my time? Any insight would be awesome, thanks!!!
billy356 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 You tell him, "Listen, I didn't LIE to you about my plans, I was uncertain what I was doing but I did say I could hang out with you Sunday. So obviously I DID want to hang out with you at one point, but after the way you have been acting today I am not sure I want to hang out with you at all. So why don't you think about why what you are doing is making me angry and if you come up with an answer then let me know and we will go from there" Feel free to edit that to your liking...lol...fact of the matter is this guy is young I am assuming as are you. He doesnt have the maturity to be able to "take Sunday over Friday" he is impatient, trying to guilt trip you etc.. There probably is only one goal on his mind anyway so why waste your time. Start looking for the guy who reacts to this situation by saying "Oh you don't have plans tonight? Well we are still on for Sunday right? Well that's great, have fun tonight and Sat and I will see you on Sunday!" THAT is the guy you want...
start-fresh Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Guy sounds like a loser. I don't understand how people who have never even met you decide they have a right to guilt trip you about something. Tell the guy he doesn't own you. You certainly owe him no explanation. I don't get how guys like this ever even get dates.
billy356 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Amistad you are right, but I have to admit I was kinda like this guy when I was that age. From what I remember....**cough** I was never aware that I was "treating someone poorly" If I was doing what this jerk is doing it was because I really wanted to meet this girl, maybe hook up with her, and it was important for me for her to feel the same way. I remember being very insecure and if a girl I was "invested" in sounded like she was changing her mind, i would take it personally and lash out. NOW...if a girl had only slapped me upside the head and say chill out freak boy...probably would have saved me from a few mistakes. 20 years later of course I realize the appropriate way to go about this and I havent been "that guy" in a couple of decades. Of course, I have caught myself doing some of those old stupid, over-exicted, obsessive things with my current prospective romantic interest, but i am lucky because a) she has known me for 12 years b) I catch myself right away and laugh at myself..and stop. So I think it is merely age, also why girls tend to go for older guys in this age bracket, more maturity...of course they then proceed to break said older guy's heart but well thats another post....lol ditch him, move on, there is probably a line of guys to choose from
deux ex machina Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 He's making big assumptions here, I can see why you feel the way you feel. It's time to back away from him. You are not being unreasonable.
Author confusedmuch Posted December 5, 2009 Author Posted December 5, 2009 Thank you for all your responses! It's nice to hear that I wasn't being unreasonable in how I was dealing with him. Truth is, I could tell from the beginning IM's that he was fairly inexperienced in getting dates. The IM's would go "hi... what are you up to?... oh, you don't have any particular plans tonight?... oh..." Or "hi... how was your day?... got any plans tonight?... yes you do?... oh..." lol. Sometimes I think I should just slap myself for setting my sights so low.
billy356 Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 nah, you arent setting your sights low, you are just learning where to look with them thats all
deux ex machina Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Haha, I've felt that way, also. Things like this happen, don't worry about it. This is just one of those things.
Awesome Username Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 Ignoramundo! This dude's tool factor is only going to get worse as he finds more ways to guilt trip you.
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