How to break up with someone who was a friend first...

[Scarlett513]

For anyone who's seen my recent posts, I've been dating 3 guys in the past few weeks.

 

One of the guys, I'm pretty sure I've come to a conclusion about - that being that I need to end things. He is a great, "perfect on paper" guy. Unfortunately, I just don't feel "it" for him. I wanted to see if those feelings would develop the more I got to know him. It's now been over a month and it's just not happening.

 

I don't think it's fair to him to keep going with this, especially because I know he's hoping that it gets serious. So I know that I need to put an end to it. The problem is that we were friends first, and that we have a lot of mutual friends. I REALLY don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him the truth (that there's just no physical attraction/chemistry), but I also can't use the usual excuses (I'm too busy/Not ready for a relationship), because we run in the same circles and if I wind up dating someone else he is bound to find out.

 

Any ideas what I could say to this guy that would not hurt his feelings but also not give him false hope? I just want to do the right thing.

[Jerseyboy.]

Youre a great guy. So great in fact I wanted to give us a chance at dating, because by any measure any girl would be lucky to have you. But weve just been friends too long, and thats how Ive come to think of you, and despite it all thats not changing inside of me. Maybe if it had happened sooner, but right now I cant get my heart to feel what my head tells me would be right.

[Scarlett513]

Wow. Thank you - that really might be the nicest break-up speech I've ever heard. You can break up with me anytime =P

 

Now I just need to commit the whole thing to memory, lol.

[Jerseyboy.]

lol

 

The value of experience and repetition

[BobSacamento]

Long story short:

 

It's not you, it's me.