BisyBaudy11 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Ok sorry about the long post but this is very important to me and I would really appreciate everyone's input if possible:). I've been friends with this girl for about 5 years now, and she likes me a lot and she has since we met. Physically we're both completely attracted to each other so we definitely flirt a lot. Anyway, she found other people to hang out with and we sort of stopped seeing each other but still remained friends and continued to talk throughout the years. She dated one other guy, and I don't think it bothered me that much, but I do think that I was slightly jealous. Well she broke up with him because she still liked me. We continued to talk for awhile and still flirted here and there, and soon she dated this other guy. I didn't like this guy cause I knew he was a douche and I knew she could do better than him. Once again I was a bit jealous but I got over it. They broke up for the same reason as before, and eventually her and I started dating. While we were together, I didn't seem to even think about her that often. Every time she asked me to hang out, I would be indifferent about it and say things like "Sure" or "I don't care". So one night she asked me to hang out and I said I was at a friends house and she called me crying asking if I even liked her at all. I realized that maybe I did only see her as a friend and we shouldn't continue to date since I was only hurting her. On the way to her house, I became extremely emotional, continued to be emotional as we talked and remained emotional after we broke up. So I was thinking, I like her but I don't? How is this possible? It was just really strange to me and I couldn't understand why I felt this way (imagine how she reacted when I tried to explain my feelings ). Instead I thought, maybe if I hang out with her more she'll eventually grow on me so to speak. Nothing seemed to change and I knew in the end she was only going to get hurt again. So we remained friends, she stayed single for awhile and we still kept talking becoming pretty much best friends. We started to hang out a lot more often and kept flirting, pretty much acting like we were dating but we really weren't. At times we wouldn't even know if we were dating or not (messed up I know). Right before this past thanksgiving, she changed her facebook status to single and the reality of us not being together slapped me pretty hard. It bugged me that she was single, and I THINK I realized that I do want to be with her. So I came home for the break and she said she had a boyfriend, and this completely killed me. I was with family when I got the text, and once I left I broke down. I don't think I've cried so hard in my life. My temples were tingling, I had cottonmouth, I was shaking, I was hyperventilating, couldn't swallow, my stomach hurt and I was very tempted to just drive into the ditch, I was suffering. The next day I woke up crying and continued to cry until the evening, and the only reason why I forced myself to stop was because family was coming over and I'm stunned that I managed to keep from crying all night. This confirmed whether I liked her or not because if I didn't I'm very sure I wouldn't have taken the news of her being with someone else as hard as I did. I talked to her about it, and she told me she still liked me, and I sighed the biggest sigh of relief in my life. I want to be with her, everything about her feels so right, I have so much in common with her and I've even had dreams of us living a full life together. So, once again, she broke up with her boyfriend because she likes me, and we're talking about getting back together. I really care for her and I'm more sure now that I like her than I have been in the past. With all the screwed up feelings and the depression I felt when she was with someone else, I've almost convinced myself that I love her since love messes with you and works strangely and whatever else. But I just don't know.... I might have been able to shorten this up by a lot but I wanted to make sure I included plenty of detail so people knew all the facts and could help analyze my feelings. I just want to know, why is it that when we're together, I don't think about her in a relationship kind of way, but when we're apart, I can't live without her?? Right now I DO feel like I like her, and seeing her with someone else isn't jealousy, it's genuine heartache. I'm really sorry for basically writing a book about this, but I wanted people to see the whole story so they could help shed some light for me. I really would like to figure this out because she's been through so much heartache because of me and I feel like a monster because of it. I just want to make sure that I do like her and 2 months later I won't lose my interest in her and hurt her worse than before. Even typing this all makes me feel like a crazy person cause it doesn't really make sense but if anyone has any ideas even if the idea sounds strange please post it. Thank you!
Nichole Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I'm not even reading beyond the title. If you don't know, you definitely don't. Simple.
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-KACyK50sY
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