noclobber Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 So there is this cute girl that works in the same company as me. We both are in the same building but work in different departments. For a while we have just seen each other in the building but that was about it. Recently I had a conversation with her regarding some work related stuff. She spoke well and helped me out. Then I bumped into her again and this time we had some casual conversations. Today I met her in the kitchen and spoke again. Now she knows my name . My friend told me that she is single... and I have been wondering the whole day if I should ask her out. The main problem I have is she is in the same building. So if she turns me down or something then things might get awkward, right? Can you guys please advice me on this situation? I was planning to ask her for lunch tomorrow and if she agrees take her to a nice restaurant and pay the bill (so she knows that I am interested).
jerbear Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Hey No clob! I would suggest asking her to lunch and regarding paying the full lunch bill, don't. If the lunch goes well and you get a dinner, that is where you pay the full dinner bill. Now the good problem, personal experience, is that you get a friendly face in the building. The bad problem, it will be arkward to work with someone you've dated that works for the same company and in the same building.
Author noclobber Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 yea.. I know it is a bad idea to date at work. But I have not even asked her out. She doesn't even know that I am planning to ask her out. Should I just let this go?
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Let it go if this career emans anything to you. Plenty of women otuside of work without the drama and danger
Author noclobber Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 Let it go if this career emans anything to you. Plenty of women otuside of work without the drama and danger really? dating a coworker is that bad? well, anyway i just ran into her now... i thought of asking her for lunch tomorrow and then kept quiet.. just had a small chat and left
jerbear Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I suggest asking her to lunch. Now if it gets better, talk another time and get dinner. I know it can be scary but I still say lunch can be good for both of you, friend, and career. Now if she gets a transfer to another building, then you're one step closer. It all starts with lunch. Keep it strictly business.
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 really? dating a coworker is that bad? well, anyway i just ran into her now... i thought of asking her for lunch tomorrow and then kept quiet.. just had a small chat and left The most embarassing moment of my life. And I didnt even sleep with her. Took her out to lunch, saw ok shes a little nuts, cut it off. In company kitchen having lunch, full of coworkers, she starts rubing my leg and everyone saw it. I give her a WTF are you doing look. Next thing I know Im sitting with two partners, a secretary, and a lawyer being given a speech about how were running a business here................ Humiliating Years later, new company etc. My secretary is close to 60. My assistant is a guy. Christmas part I had female coworkers telling my fiance how lucky she is, how her bf never flirts, never tries to use his looks, how some guys think theyre gods gift, and how he could but never does I learned my lesson Never seen it end well Lesson stuck
Pizzaman81 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 My advice Never date at work Ya don't do it. You can find women in all other places. Plus we're in a recession, don't do anything that would jeopardize your job. Like me here typing on loveshack.org while at work, DON'T DO IT
Author noclobber Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 I suggest asking her to lunch. Now if it gets better, talk another time and get dinner. I know it can be scary but I still say lunch can be good for both of you, friend, and career. Now if she gets a transfer to another building, then you're one step closer. It all starts with lunch. Keep it strictly business. thanx man... but unfortunately i did not ask her for lunch tomorrow.. we just ran into each other and we had a very short but good conversation.. the momentum is just building.. only today morning she called me by my name.. and now i had another conversation... i think i am going to ask her for lunch next week
The Way I Am Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 really? dating a coworker is that bad? Eh. I've had relationships with 2 coworkers at 2 different jobs. It wasn't really a big deal. Even after things didn't work out, there was no drama. I'm sure some people suspected, but I don't think most people even realized we were dating in either of the cases. With the first, we still worked at the same company for several months after things ended. No issues. With the other (my recent ex), he left the company but is still doing consulting, so I have to talk to him sometimes. I'm fine with it, and he seems fine with it. There's been no issue at all. He's actually a little bummed I'm leaving this company soon, because I'm one of only a few people who still sends him work instead of giving it to outsourced people. But you're taking a chance. You never know what kind of person you'll get...
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Eh. I've had relationships with 2 coworkers at 2 different jobs. It wasn't really a big deal. Even after things didn't work out, there was no drama. I'm sure some people suspected, but I don't think most people even realized we were dating in either of the cases. With the first, we still worked at the same company for several months after things ended. No issues. With the other (my recent ex), he left the company but is still doing consulting, so I have to talk to him sometimes. I'm fine with it, and he seems fine with it. There's been no issue at all. He's actually a little bummed I'm leaving this company soon, because I'm one of only a few people who still sends him work instead of giving it to outsourced people. But you're taking a chance. You never know what kind of person you'll get... Women never go away, if you are the exception, then great.
Author noclobber Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 hmmm... ok. The thing is me and this girl have no chance of interaction at all because we work in different departments. We just see each other because we happen to be in the same building.
jerbear Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 hmmm... ok. The thing is me and this girl have no chance of interaction at all because we work in different departments. We just see each other because we happen to be in the same building. Then go for it! Ok, how tall is the building? big complex or some dinky 3 story office park building. The smaller building almost makes it feel like a single department.
Author noclobber Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 Then go for it! Ok, how tall is the building? big complex or some dinky 3 story office park building. The smaller building almost makes it feel like a single department. its a huge building.. its only two floors but its pretty big. i work for a major software company in the silicon valley.
Jerseyboy. Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 hmmm... ok. The thing is me and this girl have no chance of interaction at all because we work in different departments. We just see each other because we happen to be in the same building. LOL I got to the point where I wouldnt even tell girls where I work, never mind give them a work number. Sane people become psychotic when you end a relationship. And you want one in the same office as you?
Author noclobber Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 LOL I got to the point where I wouldnt even tell girls where I work, never mind give them a work number. Sane people become psychotic when you end a relationship. And you want one in the same office as you? now i am thinking
The Way I Am Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Women never go away, if you are the exception, then great. I think maybe it's a matter of how seriously the woman takes her career. I'd never want to damage my professional reputation by making any sort of scene or even let other coworkers know we were together... unless we were to the point of getting engaged or something. But you're right that many women don't think that way. There's no way to know which sort she is, so it's a gamble. Some like to get lovey-dovey to show off the fact that they landed a man, despite it being inappropriate for the workplace. And even being in different departments, if she's a whacko and in the same building, she can find you to make a pretty embarrassing scene in front of your coworkers and boss.
jerbear Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I am Indian. She is Chinese. oh wow! good luck! :lmao:
gypsy_nicky Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Eh. I've had relationships with 2 coworkers at 2 different jobs. It wasn't really a big deal. Even after things didn't work out, there was no drama. I'm sure some people suspected, but I don't think most people even realized we were dating in either of the cases. With the first, we still worked at the same company for several months after things ended. No issues. With the other (my recent ex), he left the company but is still doing consulting, so I have to talk to him sometimes. I'm fine with it, and he seems fine with it. There's been no issue at all. He's actually a little bummed I'm leaving this company soon, because I'm one of only a few people who still sends him work instead of giving it to outsourced people. But you're taking a chance. You never know what kind of person you'll get... can I ask who broke things off with he two relationships?
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