any ideas?

[Thebob]

So I met this girl last friday, I hooked up with her at a club within 10 minutes of meeting her. She went back to my place with a friend of hers and my buddy who I went with ended up going full distance with her friend. But this girl I got with didn't want to go full distance and told me that she is more of the relationship type of girl. It was rare for what she did, meaning, that it is rare for her to hook up with a random dude at a club and go back to his place and that is what she told me. Im a lil sketchy when she told me this due to my ex, and I don't know how to take it. I talked to her through texts yesterday for 2 hours, but they were spaced out between 5-10 minutes each. The friend that my buddy got with messaged her friend and asked if she liked me, and the friend told my buddy that she did and wondered if I would end up contacting her when I headed up to a school where she goes. SO that is why I messaged her yesterday to see if she would respond and to see if she would flirt and respond nicely towards me in which she did. Unfortunately I couldn't head to the school she attended cause it's finals week up there and my cousin wouldn't be able to chill. She lives in the same town that I do when she is on break, but when she isn't she is 3.5 hours away. She is way cuter than my ex and I would love to start something with this girl. I feel that we connected really well when we hooked up but I don't know how to go from there. Ive talked to her twice since we hooked up and she responded well each time. I don't want to be the one initiating every contact though, so I would like to get some advice on what I should do with this girl. At least my ex is finally off my mind cause I am finally focused on another girl for once.

 

Thebob

__________________

~Stay strong and everything will be great~

[norajane]

Well, I'd say it's far too soon to worry about who's initiating contact at this point.

 

Your real problem is distance, and I really don't see the benefit of trying to start and carry on a relationship with someone who lives 3.5 hours away. Long distance relationships are hard enough when you start off living in the same city and develop a strong relationship before someone has to move away. Starting out as long distance is almost impossible to make it work and feel fulfilling.

 

Maybe it's because this girl is the first one since your ex that has seemed promising that you want to start something, but getting involved with people who are geographically unavailable is just another way to stay stuck and to stay out of a mutually fulfilling and full relationship.

 

Do you really want a relationship where you mostly talk through text and phone calls? Or do you want someone you can actually see and be with?

 

That said, if you want to see her, tell her you'd like to see her and make the time to drive up there. See how far it is and whether you really think you can make that work.

 

At this point, you haven't even asked her on an actual date, so you can't blame her for not contacting you. "Maybe I'll see you if I come up there for some other reason" is hardly flattering, very non-committal, and it's not an invitation to a date.