AD1980 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 This is what I call "stinkin' thinkin'", whereby you're internalizing a form of preemptive rejection with women you deem as above you, then feeling entitled, when it comes to women you deem equal to or beneath you. How about looking at all women as people, people who have thoughts and feelings? If a woman looks interesting to you, approach her, regardless of how she looks to you. If she's attracted, she'll connect with you. If not, she'll bring out the cold front. No one is above anyone. No one is entitled to anyone. I agree and believe me i dont think im above anyone
New Again Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Envy and experience perhaps? Beautiful people may not see it, but often they live in a very different world from those around them. I was discussing this with a friend of mine the other day (he's considered very attractive by women. Constantly has them falling all over him). I asked him what his life at school was like? Was he teased? Alienated? Bullied? Beaten up? Put down and rejected constantly? Turns out he was well liked, popular and had an endless stream of girls interested in him. He has *no* concept of what it's like to be on the other side of that coin. The research pretty much backs it up. Life is easier for good looking people. I suspect there's a level of resentment there from those of us who weren't as blessed. Hmm yeah, low self-esteem and bitterness and resentment. I was never anything even close to cute growing up/in high school. I don't have these issues. To each their own.
AD1980 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) To add to my point though most people unfortunately judge relationships on looks.. I always see some guy lets say who complaisn about his girl wants to wait to get married or whatever the case and somebody will say he cant do better then her shes much better looking then him he should be grateful to be with her blah blah blah Why would that person auotmatically be the best person somebody can get autoamtically because its the best looking person u think he or she can get? People dont even take into consideration if its a good person or if that perosons a pain in the ass its like we think the less better looking person in the relationship should just be grateful to be with the other person and put up with any amount of bs.. Edited December 4, 2009 by AD1980
The Way I Am Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 He has *no* concept of what it's like to be on the other side of that coin. The research pretty much backs it up. Life is easier for good looking people. I suspect there's a level of resentment there from those of us who weren't as blessed. But the guy you're talking about is someone who's been considered good looking his whole live. Not all people who are attractive after the age of 18 were treated that way growing up. (The attractive ones from my high school actually got heavy and aren't that pretty anymore, but that's beside the point.) I was really poor as a kid, so I didn't have all the nice clothes. I wasn't one of the popular, "pretty" kids. I was teased and called names like big foot (because I had to wear shoes too big for my feet that were hand-me-downs from my sister) Now that I'm older, I can afford shoes of the proper size and decent clothes. Plus the name brands you're wearing don't matter anymore like they did in high school, so it seems I'm pretty now. It's subjective, but there might be some people who would think I'm "too pretty". There have certainly been times where guys (usually young guys in retail type jobs) have been a bit rude to me, and I got the impression they were judging me to be stuck up/b*tchy/etc because of the way I look. Of course, I can't know for sure why they were rude, but it still hurt my feelings. I guess in all that rambling my point is that you don't know if a pretty person is a spoiled b*tch/jerk until you've talked to them. I just remembered something one of my exes said to me a few years ago. "You're so pretty. That's a shame." That was one of the most hurtful things anyone's ever said to me. Like I was bound to eventually turn out to be a horrible person who'd screw him over because I'm attractive. That outlook was the reason we broke up.
dazzle22 Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I agree with the other women. A lot of pretty women end up with what could be considered average looking guys. Although I personally like average looking or different looking guys-they are more interesting in general. I don't like guys who look like Ken dolls, or Brad Pitt. Seems very vanilla to me. To me it is all about the personality, the sense of humor and sense of confidence. When I was a teenager I had a huge problem with guy friends. They were intimidated by my looks, and always shied away from asking me out even if I could tell they liked me.. Meanwhile I sat at home! This ended when I went to college, I guess guys by then have figured out how to have some game and mustered up the courage!
Author neowulf Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 Some very interesting and constructive comments in there. Thank you all. Much food for thought. It's easy to underestimate the subconcious behaviours that creep out when we're not paying attention. I will try and be more mindful of my thoughts in future situations and see if I can gain better clarity.
New Again Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I think overall, something men should keep in mind, is that women are much less superficial than men when comes it looks - in general. I'm hoping no one starts a debate on this; if you feel the urge, I refer you to the dozens or hundreds of threads on here about that, or google it, or visit the self-help section of your local book store. dazzle22 kind of summed it up - women want personality; it weighs much more heavily than looks - in general.
phineas Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I think overall, something men should keep in mind, is that women are much less superficial than men when comes it looks - in general. I'm hoping no one starts a debate on this; if you feel the urge, I refer you to the dozens or hundreds of threads on here about that, or google it, or visit the self-help section of your local book store. dazzle22 kind of summed it up - women want personality; it weighs much more heavily than looks - in general. I can agree with this. My friend is borderline fat bastard but he hooks up & his GF's are always hot. also, he's hung like a kodiak bear & I believe this doesn't hurt either.
Recommended Posts