altawlib Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Two weeks ago, my co-worker asked me out for drinks "out of the blue" and I accepted her invitation. I thought that we had a great "working" relationship talking about a variety of topics such as past loves and dreams. I have never had any romantic feelings for her; I just felt that we were friends. She is a very pretty woman but I just could not see myself with her since she reminded me a lot of some one in my past who caused me a lot of grief and pain. Even before she started drinking, she confessed her feelings for me even though I was not her "type" and visa-versa. I was quite literally blown away from her confession but felt very flattered that she developed an interest in me. I told her that I was not interested in her that fashion but we could be friends at the most. Well, one thing led to another and we wound up sleeping together. The next couple of days at work felt kind of awkward because we did not speak about what happened and we work around children. During this time, I started to develop some feelings for her, so I asked her out but she turned me down. It was during the Thanksgiving vacation, so her turndown seemed quite plausible to me since she had to visit friends and family in another part of the area. Now, I am very hesitant to ask her out based on the amount of time that we last see each other outside of work. We text each other here and there but none of the messages have any emotional tone to them. Has the window of opportunity passed me by because of the Holidays? Or should I ask her out again? I am very confused.
jerseyboy Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Hate to say it bro, and not to be crude, but if you hit it right, you'd know. You'd be able to see it, and everyone around you would be able to tell frankly. Shed be hanging all over you
lucy9216 Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 I say ask her out again, everyone gets busy during the holidays so it wasn't like she was actually turning you down because she doesent like you. Just ask her for coffee this time so no one gets drunk and you end up sleeping together again. But yeah ask her when she is free!
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 I say ask her out again. If she turns you down AGAIN, I'd ask, "Would it be easier to go out sometime after the holidays are over and things have slowed down?" At that point, you'll know if it's ACTUALLY the holidays or a loss of interest.
norajane Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Why are you asking her out? Because you want to have sex with her again, or because you actually want a relationship with her? That's what I'd be wondering if I were her. She asked you out, she told you she had feelings for you, you told her you didn't have feelings for her, you probably drank a bit and ended up having sex. So, as far as she knows, you don't have feelings for her but you might just want another go at sex with her. Ask her out again, but make sure she knows you're actually interested in her and not just interested in no-strings-attached sex.
Author altawlib Posted December 4, 2009 Author Posted December 4, 2009 I am interested in her in more than a friend now. But as the week has progressed, I see sides of her behavior that remind me too much of my ex. For instance, she is a very passionate person which is great for the bedroom, but at the same time it inhibits her logic when emotions take control of a tense situation same as the ex. I will ask her out tomorrow when she teaches in the afternoon. If she turns me down, then it would suck but then again it is out of my system and move onto to other things. If she say "yes", it would be great and proceed with the futures.
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