lucy9216 Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 I met this guy on a dating website a few weeks ago, we met right away for a drink and before I met him he was sending me texts calling me babe, sweety, honey all that stuff and just came on really strong! I almost thought about not meeting him because of this but I decided to give him a shot and glad I did because in person I really liked him and there was an instant connection it was great! so we moved really fast, mostly initiated by him in one week I had over 600 text messages.. he said that he really liked me was gonna make me his girlfriend and can't wait till we can see eachother more often and we saw each other 4 times in one week. The last time I saw him was 2 fridays ago and we slept together that time and it was horribly awkward! he was very aggressive and ended up hurting me kinda bad (not intentionally though don't want to get into details) but I had to make him stop.. it was horrible and I told him that I thought he was a little too aggressive and he told me that it was okay and first times are awkward and we will get to learn eachother better in time. After that he started to become very distant and I his texts went down to 4 or 5 a day, he stopped calling when he called every night. Some of my texts he wouldn't respond to until the next afternoon and he wouldn't answer some of my calls. I told him that I felt like he was becomming distant and I didn't understand why, after I said that he backed off even more. I spoke with him one more time after that and he said he felt like **** for hurting me and he thought there was drama because I was asking all of these questions basically... I also noticed that after this happened he was active again on his account, so I don't know if he used me? or does he feel like the sex was just so horrible that he nexted me? I wasn't sure because he became sooo distant. On saturday I sent him a text because I couldn't get him on the phone anymore just telling him to leave me alone because I feel like he is stringing me along now and to leave me alone. I am a little bummed cause I kinda liked him alot! but I did the right thing right?
JohnP82 Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 Sorry, it sounds like he got what he wanted and has moved on.
boogieboy Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 Maye he likes sex rough and was dissappointed when you didnt like it. You didnt screw up though. He got hat he wanted and moved on.
Author lucy9216 Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 (edited) That is what I was thinking and when I asked him this he said he was offended, but who would actually admit to this right? it's just that he told me so much about him and he has 3 kids in which one he has full custody of since she was 4 and now she is 17.... Why would he tell me so much and where he lives, gave me his work #, took me to dinner, movie, cooked for me and just so many things if that was all he wanted? I guess he is good at getting a girls trust huh? dunno what happened, but since he was still sending some texts saying hi babe how are you and we will see each other soon but not making any plans too. I felt it was the right thing to do to tell him to leave me alone and he did! I sent that on saturday and nothing from him since and now he has been inactive on his account for a week, looks like he found someone else to pursue. Edited December 2, 2009 by lucy9216
JustLooking123 Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 He came on way too strong. You ignored warning bells and red flags and slept with him. Things went awry. He quit coming on too strong; the tables were turned. Now he's active again on the dating site. I agree with the others - he got what he wanted. Frankly he sounds unstable, you probably dodged a bullet.
2sunny Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 i'm always suspicious when a guy comes on this strong in the relationship... i like a little balance... he's aggressive in the pursuit as much as in the sack... this is not attractive on any man. figure he's using these not so charming ways on someone new now. guys like this have someone new they're pursuing every few weeks.
jerseyboy Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 Maye he likes sex rough and was dissappointed when you didnt like it. You didnt screw up though. He got hat he wanted and moved on. Was thinking it might be that as well. I dont know what she means by rough though. And usually you build up some but..... Not saying tender is always bad, and it has its places. Especially if you have feelings for her. But generally speaking I like it kinda hards fast and aggressive. He may veryw ell have thought they werent compatable.
Author lucy9216 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 Justlooking- ya know I think I did ignore all of these signs because I was hopeing I was wrong I guess, but this is a part of dating and these things do happen and it sucks! I was mostly upset about feeling used, that has never happened to me before and it is a pretty bad feeling. I just know what to look out for next time. 2sunny- I do feel bad for the girl he is pursueing now, a friend of mine told me to report him on the site I met him on but I think that would just be silly... I mean I was the stupid one and ignored all of the signs. I will remember that too being as aggressive in the pursuit as he is in the sack, that is good to remember. Thank you guys, he had me thinking that it was all my fault and I am just drama! I was starting to think maybe it was all in my head... he may just be a good manipulator.
dazzle22 Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 These are the dangers of sleeping with a guy you do not know well...Despite what Cosmo says, that we women can do this like men, we can't! Women get hurt this way, not men. They are the hunters, and don't forget it. You may not like it, but that is the way the human race evolved unfortunately. This guy has "player" written all over him and you pushed your worries aside when your subconscious was trying to warn you. He sounds creepy. Think about it..600 texts??to someone he barely knows? Always be wary of a guy who becomes too close too soon. It is a sign of a predator or someone very emotionally unstable. I think you need to ask yourself why you started to like him even after he was terrible and hurt you while having sex? There are some great books out there on relationships, and the dynamics of relationships with men. I strongly advise you to pick some up and read them so this doesn't happen to you again. Sorry this happened to you.
Author lucy9216 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 These are the dangers of sleeping with a guy you do not know well...Despite what Cosmo says, that we women can do this like men, we can't! Women get hurt this way, not men. They are the hunters, and don't forget it. You may not like it, but that is the way the human race evolved unfortunately. This guy has "player" written all over him and you pushed your worries aside when your subconscious was trying to warn you. He sounds creepy. Think about it..600 texts??to someone he barely knows? Always be wary of a guy who becomes too close too soon. It is a sign of a predator or someone very emotionally unstable. I think you need to ask yourself why you started to like him even after he was terrible and hurt you while having sex? There are some great books out there on relationships, and the dynamics of relationships with men. I strongly advise you to pick some up and read them so this doesn't happen to you again. Sorry this happened to you. Ya know it is so out of the norm for me to have continued talking to someone like this. Because there have been a few I have met throuhout my life that have acted like this and I did not ignore those red flags and I didn't continue to talk with them because I knew what it was that they were after. But for some reason when I met this guy in person I saw something different than what i saw in his texts, he was absoloutely perfect in person and from what I could tell he is an excellent father to his 3 kids and I found this to be a great quality in a man, so I just figured that he really liked me and was very forward.... he is 9 years older than me so I also thought that he just knows what he wants.... I don't know I could try to justify it all day but in the end it is what it is. Eventhough things went horribly bad when we slept together, I am not the type to base a relationship off of sex alone and when he said that we will get to know each other better when it comes to sex and it wont be so awkward once we get more comfy with each other, I thought well this could be true so i wont write him off because of it. He was very convincing of all of this in person and seemed so genuine and sincere, maybe he has just being doing this so long that it just comes so natural to him. Either way, I am glad to be rid of him even though I kinda liked him but I think I just liked what I thought he was not who he really is and I have learned a good leason from this guy so I won't regret meeting him. Just glad that everything came together sooner than later before I got too attached to him.
LindaLiss Posted December 6, 2009 Posted December 6, 2009 i think he got to eat his cake! seriously my heart goes to you, all men these days want sex, not something serious. Its hard to find a trustworthy guy but you'll find him, God has someone for everyone.
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