How do you get over someone when they work with you and you see her everyday?

[bbasher75]

I work with this girl, granted she's in another office but I sometimes have to bump into her in the hallway and stuff and it hurts.

 

She came to me, then blew me off, etc. until finally she said "lets be friends". The thing is I know she finds me very attractive (one of her co-workers revealed that to me but made me swear not to tell her). But for some reason she just would never commit to going out with me. But one day she asked me to get a drink with her then she said how she was dying to see me again when our date was done. But when I tried to set something up for another date she said "lets be friends sorry".

 

For a couple of weeks she would pass by me "accidentally" and make small talk. I pretended it didnt bother me what she did (lead me on) but it really, really hurt. I should have told her then that she should have gone out with me, maybe she would have. Maybe not. She never offered an explanation, nothing. If she would have just said "there was not enough chemistry" I could have lived with it. No explanation though.

 

Anyway now I see her holding hands with some schmuck at the end of the day, when he picks her up. Looks like she found herself a new guy. I finally at that point texted her (too late of course) and told she made a mistake. She told me "we work together, I dont know if it would work out".

 

If that was the case why did she even bother asking me out on a date? She tore my heart up and spit on it. And the worst part is I have feelings for her, and have to see her now everyday with some guy who looks like a schmuck.

 

I catch her glancing at me from time to time, almost with a regretful look on her face. I'm wondering what I can do to get over this pain when I have to see her everyday? And why she did what she did? She HAS to know she hurt me, yet she doesnt seem like a hurtful person. It just sucks. Thanks.

[Peter_G]

In kind of the same position as you are

Just hang in there. There's not much you can do just be nice and hopefully she will come around.

[BobSacamento]

You didn't even go out with her and you are a friggin mess. She obviously made the right choice and you reinforced it with that weak Text message.

[MissGoLightly]

I work with this girl, granted she's in another office but I sometimes have to bump into her in the hallway and stuff and it hurts.

 

She came to me, then blew me off, etc. until finally she said "lets be friends".

So did you two ever actually date? Is she an ex-gf?

 

The thing is I know she finds me very attractive (one of her co-workers revealed that to me but made me swear not to tell her).

OK, so you two never actually dated. Got it. I think the co-worker is just trying to create drama and you can't take anything she says as absolute truth. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she's trying to play matchmaker. Either way, her comment is inappropriate, tasteless and misplaced.

 

But for some reason she just would never commit to going out with me. But one day she asked me to get a drink with her then she said how she was dying to see me again when our date was done. But when I tried to set something up for another date she said "lets be friends sorry".

Do you know she thought of it as a date and not just hanging out with a co-worker?

 

For a couple of weeks she would pass by me "accidentally" and make small talk. I pretended it didnt bother me what she did (lead me on) but it really, really hurt.

How do you know she "accidentally on purpose" was walking by you to talk to you? I'm not convinced that's true.

 

I'm also not convinced she led you on. Maybe if you gave more details about your "date" and other interactions.

 

I should have told her then that she should have gone out with me, maybe she would have. Maybe not.

I thought you did ask her out and she said no?

 

She never offered an explanation, nothing. If she would have just said "there was not enough chemistry" I could have lived with it. No explanation though.

She definitely offered an implied explanation (not that she owes you one) when she said "let's just be friends." Sorry buddy, but that's all you need to know: she's not interested in you romantically.

 

Anyway now I see her holding hands with some schmuck at the end of the day, when he picks her up. Looks like she found herself a new guy.

How do you know they haven't been dating all along? It really doesn't sound like you know much about this girl at all, other than that you're attracted to her.

 

However, you haven't given very many specific or helpful details, so you could definitely prove me wrong.

 

Either way, if she's dating someone else really doesn't concern you. It's not your business.

 

I finally at that point texted her (too late of course) and told she made a mistake. She told me "we work together, I dont know if it would work out".

You sound like a stalker.

 

And there's your explanation.

 

If that was the case why did she even bother asking me out on a date? She tore my heart up and spit on it. And the worst part is I have feelings for her, and have to see her now everyday with some guy who looks like a schmuck.

That's really not her problem.

 

I also think you're quite melodramatic, based on the details you've given.

 

I catch her glancing at me from time to time, almost with a regretful look on her face.

I think you're imagining things. I also think you should read this article; I think it applies to you.

 

http://origin.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,340013,00.html

[Balthazar]

Dude, you must not get so worked up over such matters...for whatever reason, she has made her choice and it wasn't you.

If she was so attracted to you, she would have tested the waters.

But that's OK...no man can hope to attract all women.

 

There are a lot of fine ladies out there and the minute you meet another one you really like, I guarantee you will forget about the lady at work.

 

Go out, enjoy yourself with your buds and talk to the ladies.

And forget the woman at work....trust me, it's for the best

 

Cheers,

[trueblue72ny]

i work with my exgf too. luckily i dont have to see mine either that much, but when she wants to be noticed she makes noise to get my attention. it happened today actually. she decides to sit down and visit with the girl in the cubicle next to me and show off her new boots or whatever she got. i didnt turn around to look. i just picked up my phone and started checking my voice messages.

 

same thing, "lets be friends" maybe someday but not right now.

 

the only thing you can do is do your best to concentrate on your job and ignore her. there is no escape. so you have to be the better person.