All a girl has to be is "hot."

[Bejita463]

If you were really Bejita, you would have about a million scars all over your body from fights with Goku, Cell, Nappa and Frieza beating you bloody as a monkey child that could easily pass as stretch marks.

 

Whoa whoa whoa.

 

Whoa.

 

 

 

 

 

Whoa.

 

Let's not get crazy here.

 

But yeah, I guess we're talking about guys that don't want anything out of a relationship with a woman other than sex and having a trophy.

 

Would you really want a guy who thinks that way anyway? There are plenty of guys who treat intimacy as the important thing it is. Let the players play.

[woopster638]

I guess we're talking about guys that don't want anything out of a relationship with a woman other than sex and having a trophy.

 

 

 

personally i preferred to have feelings for a girl before getting sexual, otherwise the relationship is probably based on lust.......and i don't really like it when my people brag about how much girls they bang etc

 

but what do i know, I'm just 20 lol

[Awesome Username]

EDIT: deleted

 

cause this thread is .... way to hot for me?

 

Nah... deleted because this thread is bogus.

 

It honestly was not my intention for this thread to sound "bogus." I'm speaking from the heart here and this thread is not fake or here to seek attention, other than from those with advice to give me about feeling better about what I'm seeing around me. Whenever I go back home and see the glamourous girls around me, I feel dull and a total tomboy in comparison and since I barely ever date, I'll admit that sometimes it gets to me and I wonder if I'm missing something.

[woopster638]

look sista, there is nothing wrong with you, its' all in your mind lol........just meet new people,but if your are looking for a good guy, try to go after the ones that are a bit shy and less talkative becoz they are usually the better mate......

 

i no, coz i'm one lol

[Bejita463]

the ones that are a bit shy and less talkative becoz they are usually the better mate......

 

What exactly do you base this on?

 

i no, coz i'm one lol

 

Not this, I hope.

[bayouboi]

Is being attractive all that matters to a guy?

 

Yes. Being attractive is all that matters to women, too. Why would you want to be with someone you didn't find attractive in some way, shape or form?

[New Again]

I have heard a some things in the last few days that have sort of bothered me.

 

First off, I have a coworker (friend, I don't date coworkers) who I was chatting with and the topic of finding people to date came up. I told him all of the traits that I thought were great in a guy (ambition, old morals, etc.), and asked him what his favorite aspect of a woman was.

 

"Hair."

 

Another time at another work, there was a guy who got calls ALL DAY LONG from his girl he was dating asking when he was coming home, getting angry, wasting all of his money and being a generally hot mess. I finally met her when she stumbled into the office drunk as Hell and causing a scene, but she had big boobs and really long hair and was probably in her sober state, pretty attractive.

 

Tonight I saw an old family friend, and he and my cousin were talking about hooking him up with a girl. My cousin was talking about all of her friends and what they liked, and asked him what he wanted. He just said to pick the hottest one. She asked again like, "Of course she's going to be hot, but what else?" and he said that it didn't matter.

 

Is being attractive all that matters to a guy? Can a woman be physically beautiful but act like a classless evil person and still hold the heart of a good man because she's hot in bed? I used to think that constant shopping and going to salons, makeup, stilettos, hair extensions and all of that tertiary stuff didn't matter as much as it apparently does. I'm honestly disheartened by hearing it.

Hm. I've only had one cup of coffee so far, but my initial reaction to this was thinking about my bf. For some reason this was actually something that was on my mind recently.

 

When we first got to know each other and started dating, his reasons for liking me were along the lines of being hot, and being able to keep up with him drinking, and being fun.

 

Now, being hot still makes the list, but the other things have changed to qualities and characteristics that are actually meaningful.

 

I think what changed (besides getting to know me better) were what he was looking for relationship-wise and where he was in his life. Example that's specific to him is that prior to meeting me he had had two gfs almost back to back and they were both complete messes and pretty dramatic relationships. He was pretty done with relationships at that point (needed a break, was discouraged, whatever). During the time that we were getting to know each other I think he probably wasn't ready for a relationship - but he did a lot of adjusting and growing up &etc.

 

He still loves when other guys check me out, or when his friends tell him I'm hot; and I love when his friends tell him how sweet I am, or how down to earth I am (yes, guys say those things about me to him).

 

So I do think that fundamentally, yeah it really does just come down to looks. But I think maturity has a lot to do with it...and I also think that men and women are very different in what they need and want from a partner/in a relationship.

[Art_Critic]

All a girl has to be is "hot."

 

While on the surface this may be true for most guys... deep down it really doesn't hold up..

 

A hot girl who uses her looks to get things can be just as irritating and possibly more obnoxious than most and those traits don't lend themselves well to long term relationships..

 

Some of the hottest women ( and I mean hottest by someone who used their looks to get them thru things ) I dated where also the most rude, lying types.

One girl I dated thought she was so hot that she could treat me like dirt and lie to me.. I'm sure she has gotten along with this..

But in her mid 30's and no guy who wants to be around her other than to poke her isn't the most satisfying place to be in..

I'm sure today people like that live very lonely lives...

 

My wife is hot... but she is lacking the part where she uses her looks to manipulate or gets things, She and I would never be together if she was hot and obnoxious and fake.

[Ms. Joolie]

Whenever I go back home and see the glamourous girls around me, I feel dull and a total tomboy in comparison and since I barely ever date, I'll admit that sometimes it gets to me and I wonder if I'm missing something.

 

I think this says a lot. I can relate, too.

 

My everyday look is very low key.... right now I'm wearing a top that I like, jeans and some flats. My hair is straight ironed and parted. I have minimum make up: foundation coverage, eyeliner, mascara and lip gloss.

 

I don't look glamorous. It's just my everyday look, for everyday things. Sometimes I'll go home and put on a pair of heels to go out, but that's it. This is also my "I'm not dating right now" look. Because when I do date, I find myself going to the hair/nail salon and shopping a LOT more. All for the sake of being glamorous. It takes a lot of time, and money.

 

It's funny because when I go out with my everyday look, I feel like a total plain jane compared to someone I might run across who's all made up. There is definitely a difference between dressing to impress and simply being dressed.

 

I know there are some women who's life evolves around salons and shopping. They have to maintain their glamorous look, because that is their image... that is who they are, their identity, their security. And I am very guilty of this as well. It's amazing how much time I can spend on myself! But that's why the glamorous, hot, attractive, always made up women can be so conceited and snobby. I know the time it takes to be that way, and how selfish one has to be to keep that up.

 

And in the end, it's not a glamorous life. It can be, but not always. We can't always see the Hollywood side of life. The reality is that we have jobs, that we work, we do housework, that we exercise and get sweaty, etc.

 

So guys who are attracted to the always glamorous girls can be just as superficial as the glamorous girls. Any experienced man knows the difference between glamor girl and reality woman. They fall in love with the woman, not the glamor. Even if they are attracted to glamor, as we all are, that's not what they love... unless they really are that shallow.

 

In short, I think you are getting caught up with the glamor show, and need to appreciate who you really are. You mentioned that you feel like a tomboy and that you're self-conscious about your acne. These actually sound like old thoughts running through your head, as if they were teenage worries, and they just keep going around and around in your mind. Now that is who you think you are: a tomboy with acne.

 

I think to find your confidence, you are going to have to nurture your real feminine side, and appreciate that. You are a grown woman now, and perhaps you need lots of reflection on what that means to you. As a woman, you have a natural beauty to you, without the glamor. Be less self-conscious on your looks, and more conscious - and confident - in who you really are.

[boogieboy]

There are guys who have gotten a few glamorous hotties, so naturally the have the confidence to keep looking for that. You cant expct to get noticed by them.

 

You might expect to get noticed by guys who have btdt and are sick of the hotties and want a regular pretty gal that is drama free.

 

Or get noticed by the guys who just like regular pretty gals in general.

 

But if you are trying to date guys that are out of your league-by their standards, well of course youre going to get passed up. You shouldnt be after those guys anyway.

 

Regular guys for you!

[Sam Spade]

Oh, come on! Of course this is not all that matters. I certainly wouldn't tolerate a classless bitch just because she's hot.

That said, the importance of hotness should not be underestimated - I'm observing myself and I do notice that I feel particularly affectionate towards my gf when she has put some effort in her looks.

So, yes, it matters, but that's not all that matters. Sweet attitude is at least half of the equation.

[cognac]

Stop pretending women are any different. Are you really going to argue that the muscular , 6'2, ed hardy shirt wearing, backwards ball cap wearing mouthbreather, is not going to get more attention from women than that 5'8 guy in the plaid shirt?

 

Girls are just as shallow (or more. Men generally will call a dumb hot chick what she is and use her for sex, but women will pretend a dumb "hot guy" is something more than he actually is) , and just as willing to tolerate anything as long as the guy is "Hot". The personality traits are just stuff women go for on paper but not practically (unless they are unattractive). You'll find the decent looking girls are surrounded by male friends who have all the traits they claim they want personality wise, but yet they aren't getting into her panties. HMM?

[Stockalone]

I have heard a some things in the last few days that have sort of bothered me.

 

First off, I have a coworker (friend, I don't date coworkers) who I was chatting with and the topic of finding people to date came up. I told him all of the traits that I thought were great in a guy (ambition, old morals, etc.), and asked him what his favorite aspect of a woman was.

 

"Hair."

 

I hope he meant in addition to other things. Then again, I can somewhat relate. Short hair on a woman freaks me out.

 

 

Another time at another work, there was a guy who got calls ALL DAY LONG from his girl he was dating asking when he was coming home, getting angry, wasting all of his money and being a generally hot mess. I finally met her when she stumbled into the office drunk as Hell and causing a scene, but she had big boobs and really long hair and was probably in her sober state, pretty attractive.

 

Maybe he knew her from before she turned into that mess. Or he could have hoped she would eventually quit drinking. And with the drinking gone, she might not be so bad and the other bad stuff might disappear as well once she stops drinking. For some, the drinking seems to be only a phase.

 

I don't think that a woman like her is going to be able to keep a man for too long. However, she will probably always find guys for the short-term.

 

 

Tonight I saw an old family friend, and he and my cousin were talking about hooking him up with a girl. My cousin was talking about all of her friends and what they liked, and asked him what he wanted. He just said to pick the hottest one. She asked again like, "Of course she's going to be hot, but what else?" and he said that it didn't matter.

 

I think most people are terrible matchmakers. It makes at least some sense to be set up with the hottest one if it's most likely going to be a fling, if anything.

 

That said, to say that nothing but her being hot matters, is just dumb.

 

 

Is being attractive all that matters to a guy? Can a woman be physically beautiful but act like a classless evil person and still hold the heart of a good man because she's hot in bed? I used to think that constant shopping and going to salons, makeup, stilettos, hair extensions and all of that tertiary stuff didn't matter as much as it apparently does. I'm honestly disheartened by hearing it.

 

Looks are the easiest way to get noticed. And they are also the easiest way to be overlooked.

 

So yes, looks obviously matter, to both genders. But it would be wrong to think it's the only thing men care about.

 

Relationships require far more than just physical attraction. And women don't have to work that hard to be noticed. Men may be visual creatures, but a woman wearing everyday jeans and a t-shirt can be hot, without wearing a lot of make-up.

 

If you also look stunning when all dolled up, that is just and added bonus, not a requirement.

[Ruby Slippers]

It took me way too long to figure out that looks are the #1 thing (most) men care about. And actually, joining this forum is a big part of what really opened my eyes to this fact.

 

I spent my 20s developing my mind and talents, going to college, starting my own business, traveling the world, being in a band, and DOING stuff, rather than focusing my time, energy, and money into my hair, makeup, wardrobe, and glam routine.

 

Now I have figured out that all that character-building stuff is meaningless to most men without a made-up face, hair, body, and wardrobe to catch their attention. So, I have begun to play the "girl role" more, and it is staggering to see how the attention from men has skyrocketed.

 

It kind of breaks my heart to learn just how shallow people really are, but I guess that's just the way it is.

[northstar1]

About as shallow as a male thinking "All I have to be is rich!"

[threebyfate]

No doubt it's easier to get a date when you're an attractive woman. The drawback is that with more selection, you have more filtering to do.

 

If a man prioritizes looks as his most important priority, whereby there are no others or the others are so far back to be negligible, it's time to cut bait.

[radwimps]

men do prioritize on looks.

 

but when they start dating, other stuff comes into play, looks is just there for the first and general impression.

 

to be fair though, being hot does have it's drawbacks. You get stared at often, and when you do notice it it's quite awkward. Other times you feel being watched all the time, and you have to keep in mind of what actions you take because they completely judge on you.

 

plus you get hit on by ugly chicks =)

[627]

I have a bunch of guy friends to play chess discuss philosophy and argue religions with

if I am looking for a girlfriend, I am looking for someone to make out with and dance and stuff like that of course there is a certain degree of education and intelligence and manners that has to be there, but it is not a main focus...

[Lizzie60]

No, it sucks to feel like you have to go shopping, go to salons, get your makeup done, spend hours in the bathroom, and do other stupid stuff to look cute enough for a man to respect you. Like everything else you do doesn't matter.

 

Looking pretty costs money and takes a lot of time, but it is beginning to feel necessary. That's why a lot of women wont take their makeup off in bed.

 

 

Huh???? this is new to me... it doesn't cost me that much.. and I'm out the door in the morning in less than 20 minutes.. I don't wear much make-up... so I don't spend hours in the bathroom...

 

If you do all this.. spend money and spend hours looking good... that means you're not too 'hot' and you need a lot of 'work' to look decent..

[Ms. Joolie]

Huh???? this is new to me... it doesn't cost me that much.. and I'm out the door in the morning in less than 20 minutes.. I don't wear much make-up... so I don't spend hours in the bathroom...

 

If you do all this.. spend money and spend hours looking good... that means you're not too 'hot' and you need a lot of 'work' to look decent..

 

I think that is where she is getting confused. Obviously from her picture she is more than just decent looking, and I do mean her features.

 

She is thinking she has to look glamorous, and talking about the time and money it would take to maintain some top quality ideal. I think she has an image of glamor in her head that is not really practical, and can't see herself really because of it.

 

And because she's not glamorous everyday she doesn't feel good enough.

[callingyouuu]

Sometimes, I wish more women were just a walking pair of boobs.

</sarcasm>

 

Initially, yes. First impressions are everything. It's great to have other qualities, as well, but no one's going to want to open the door and find out unless it's a really pretty door in the first place.

[Ody]

If only there were some anonymous, faceless place, where people could get to know each other through discourse without immediate visual impressions to muddy up the waters... I'm sure everyone would love finding their mates in such a place!

 

Anyway I think that yes it usually matters a lot in terms of initial attraction, and by extension it matters a lot in terms of getting acquainted with more potential long term partners. I think it matters much less (but is not irrelevant) for staying power.

[pandagirl]

There was a beautiful, buxom girl I knew that had every guy drooling over her. However, her personality was a bit deficient.

 

What happened is the guy would ALWAYS lose interest in her after a certain amount of time and they'd eventually dump her.

 

While being extremely "hot" may lure in the guy, if you don't have the inner beauty to back it up, it's not really worth much.

[Sam Spade]

I think that is where she is getting confused. Obviously from her picture she is more than just decent looking, and I do mean her features.

 

She is thinking she has to look glamorous, and talking about the time and money it would take to maintain some top quality ideal. I think she has an image of glamor in her head that is not really practical, and can't see herself really because of it.

 

And because she's not glamorous everyday she doesn't feel good enough.

 

Yeah, and this is where she doesn't give enough credit to guys for being capable of basic common sense. The very definition of the word "glamour" suggests a quasi-magical quality/ability to make reality more attractive than it really is. It is a horible idea to base your life on "glamour".

We have porn for that!

[threebyfate]

I think that is where she is getting confused. Obviously from her picture she is more than just decent looking, and I do mean her features.

 

She is thinking she has to look glamorous, and talking about the time and money it would take to maintain some top quality ideal. I think she has an image of glamor in her head that is not really practical, and can't see herself really because of it.

 

And because she's not glamorous everyday she doesn't feel good enough.

IF a man needs this type of "glamour" and she's not that kind of girl who enjoys it, then what's the problem? It just proves the two are incompatible, so move on. With the looks displayed in her pics, it should be easy for her attract someone else. Whether the next guy will be compatible, is what dating is all about, to select or not, reliant on compatibility.