Awesome Username Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 I have heard a some things in the last few days that have sort of bothered me. First off, I have a coworker (friend, I don't date coworkers) who I was chatting with and the topic of finding people to date came up. I told him all of the traits that I thought were great in a guy (ambition, old morals, etc.), and asked him what his favorite aspect of a woman was. "Hair." Another time at another work, there was a guy who got calls ALL DAY LONG from his girl he was dating asking when he was coming home, getting angry, wasting all of his money and being a generally hot mess. I finally met her when she stumbled into the office drunk as Hell and causing a scene, but she had big boobs and really long hair and was probably in her sober state, pretty attractive. Tonight I saw an old family friend, and he and my cousin were talking about hooking him up with a girl. My cousin was talking about all of her friends and what they liked, and asked him what he wanted. He just said to pick the hottest one. She asked again like, "Of course she's going to be hot, but what else?" and he said that it didn't matter. Is being attractive all that matters to a guy? Can a woman be physically beautiful but act like a classless evil person and still hold the heart of a good man because she's hot in bed? I used to think that constant shopping and going to salons, makeup, stilettos, hair extensions and all of that tertiary stuff didn't matter as much as it apparently does. I'm honestly disheartened by hearing it.
Author Awesome Username Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 yeah.... it sucks to be hot. I agree. No, it sucks to feel like you have to go shopping, go to salons, get your makeup done, spend hours in the bathroom, and do other stupid stuff to look cute enough for a man to respect you. Like everything else you do doesn't matter. Looking pretty costs money and takes a lot of time, but it is beginning to feel necessary. That's why a lot of women wont take their makeup off in bed.
JohnP82 Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 No, it sucks to feel like you have to go shopping, go to salons, get your makeup done, spend hours in the bathroom, and do other stupid stuff to look cute enough for a man to respect you. Who says they respect them? Like everything else you do doesn't matter. You sound a lot like some guys when they can't figure out why they can't get a date. They have x,y, and Z amazing qualities but lack the quality/behavior that the opposite sex initially cares about. I hope this isn't shocking to you but both sexes can be amazing people but if they can't initially attract or spark the interest in the opposite sex then they probably will not be given a second glance.
I am who I am Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 (edited) EDIT: deleted cause this thread is .... way to hot for me? Nah... deleted because this thread is bogus. Edited December 2, 2009 by I am who I am
Author Awesome Username Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 Who says they respect them? You sound a lot like some guys when they can't figure out why they can't get a date. They have x,y, and Z amazing qualities but lack the quality/behavior that the opposite sex initially cares about. I hope this isn't shocking to you but both sexes can be amazing people but if they can't initially attract or spark the interest in the opposite sex then they probably will not be given a second glance. Yeah, there certainly is some truth to that. Maybe I'm just a little sore because it seems as though every time I like a guy, he is always in love with another girl (always stunning) that he barely knows. One started dating a girl who doesn't even speak his language. I'm afraid that if I ever do find a wonderful man, he'll just fall for a prettier girl the moment he sees her and leave me all alone. It sounds shallow, but the fear is definitely there.
I am who I am Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 (edited) Thanks, Woopster. but I, umm..yeah.. umm... I'm married?!? err... yeah... married.... Edited December 2, 2009 by I am who I am
Author Awesome Username Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 btw.....you're hot The picture I took is after two hours of getting ready and putting makeup on. My hair is naturally very frizzy and curly and without makeup, my face has acne scars. I've basically had surgery to correct most of it, but it's still there. I still have scars on my arms and my back, to the point that I'm too scared to wear a bathing suit. In real life I'm actually an average girl. Thank you for the compliment on my picture, but I'm just writing to tell it like it really is, for the sake of this thread
HokeyPokey Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 I'm afraid that if I ever do find a wonderful man, he'll just fall for a prettier girl the moment he sees her and leave me all alone. It sounds shallow, but the fear is definitely there. Your insecurity will probably be your downfall far before prettier women stealing your man away. I've heard of more men leaving good women because they were unreasonably jealous and paranoid rather than for a "hotter" one. And what if you've been the prettier girl? Bet you have. But then again, I've never believed in the whole "one true love" deal. I think everyone has temptations, but the best of us can fight them off. You could just as well find a better looking man.
dressing up Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 The picture I took is after two hours of getting ready and putting makeup on. My hair is naturally very frizzy and curly and without makeup, my face has acne scars. I've basically had surgery to correct most of it, but it's still there. I still have scars on my arms and my back, to the point that I'm too scared to wear a bathing suit. In real life I'm actually an average girl. Thank you for the compliment on my picture, but I'm just writing to tell it like it really is, for the sake of this thread Do you mind if I ask what kind of surgery? I have some acne scars too.
Bejita463 Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 without makeup, my face has acne scars. I've basically had surgery to correct most of it, but it's still there. Some guys prefer the natural look, and would like how you look better without that makeup on.
Author Awesome Username Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 Your insecurity will probably be your downfall far before prettier women stealing your man away. I've heard of more men leaving good women because they were unreasonably jealous and paranoid rather than for a "hotter" one. And what if you've been the prettier girl? Bet you have. But then again, I've never believed in the whole "one true love" deal. I think everyone has temptations, but the best of us can fight them off. You could just as well find a better looking man. I'll certainly take your advice on the insecurity of my shallow fear. It's exhausting looking around and wondering how you measure up all the time. It's quite possible that I could just be projecting my fear of dating into all of this craziness. You're right about that soulmate myth though - with over six billion people on this earth, there are always more options, right!
A O Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 Is being attractive all that matters to a guy? Can a woman be physically beautiful but act like a classless evil person and still hold the heart of a good man because she's hot in bed? . Yes, and yes. It runs in equal proportion with the women who believe that all they need to do is look the part. The trick is for both types to seek each other out and live happily ever after, leaving the vast majority of us to seek a much more fulfilling potential relationship combination. .
woopster638 Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 The picture I took is after two hours of getting ready and putting makeup on. My hair is naturally very frizzy and curly and without makeup, my face has acne scars. I've basically had surgery to correct most of it, but it's still there. I still have scars on my arms and my back, to the point that I'm too scared to wear a bathing suit. In real life I'm actually an average girl. Thank you for the compliment on my picture, but I'm just writing to tell it like it really is, for the sake of this thread btw.....let me tell you a lil secret,4yrs ago, i was 260 pounds (losse some weight,thanks to rugby lol) and fxcking stretch marks everywhere now when i take off my shirt,and my nipples are a few inches lower to where it shud be, hence the reason why im spendin hrs at gym jus for my chest alone lol.......,,,,but the thing is baby.............. i jus feel like talking lol
Author Awesome Username Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 Do you mind if I ask what kind of surgery? I have some acne scars too. Not at all! First off, you need to get rid of the existing acne that you have by means of either Accutaine or prescription meds. If your acne is severe enough that it warrants cosmetic procedures, you are better off opting for prescription rather than Proactiv products. After that was gone, I had microdermabrasion a few times but was making it worse. Acne scars are often more severe under layers of skin, sort of like an iceburg. I decided to do laser treatments instead of chemical peels for that exact reason; the laser actually burns (sounds a lot worse than it feels) the collagen under your skin, stimulating growth and (filling in) the gaps. In the case of some icepick (deep) scars, the doctor might punch it out or stitch it up. I don't know how severe your case is. Sometimes just one laser treatment will solve it. In my case, I had about five microdermabrasion sessions and four laser treatments, after doing the prescription Obagi treatment. If your skin is white and you have dark hair, you will get the best results from the laser. I will end up doing a chemical peel soon since the holes from below my skin have filled out and it will finally be "smooth" after that, but to be honest it's normal enough to not be stared at while walking down the street, which says a lot considering my earlier condition. I will say that it's worth it to see yourself in a tinted window and not see any "holes."
HokeyPokey Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 You're right about that soulmate myth though - with over six billion people on this earth, there are always more options, right! There are! Have to have the lows to get the highs. It's hard not to feel insecure as a woman. I still do, but try to remind myself that we only have control over our actions and perceptions and not other's. Sometimes you also just have to learn how to ignore those overly-sexed men. I work with a bunch of them and get tired of the "hot babe" talk as well. I just change the subject or leave the room if it bothers me. Or sometimes I start talking about hot men and then they start to feel insecure and shut up pretty quickly.
Author Awesome Username Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 Yes, and yes. It runs in equal proportion with the women who believe that all they need to do is look the part. . Sounds like a Hollywood yin yang!
Author Awesome Username Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 There are! Have to have the lows to get the highs. It's hard not to feel insecure as a woman. I still do, but try to remind myself that we only have control over our actions and perceptions and not other's. Sometimes you also just have to learn how to ignore those overly-sexed men. I work with a bunch of them and get tired of the "hot babe" talk as well. I just change the subject or leave the room if it bothers me. Or sometimes I start talking about hot men and then they start to feel insecure and shut up pretty quickly. Sometimes I notice that guys do a lot of the hot babe talk with each other around other women. Maybe it's to make themselves look like they pull more ladies in front of a girl? I'm imagining hot babe talk, then hot guy talk, and then silence. Sometimes when I read an experience on Loveshack, I wish that I could be a fly on the wall to see it happening in front of my own eyes!
A O Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 ^ ^ ^ It can be whatever you choose it to be. The point is, the world isn't as you describe it, but if that's how you wish it to be - so be it. .
Author Awesome Username Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 btw.....let me tell you a lil secret,4yrs ago, i was 260 pounds (losse some weight,thanks to rugby lol) and fxcking stretch marks everywhere now when i take off my shirt,and my nipples are a few inches lower to where it shud be, hence the reason why im spendin hrs at gym jus for my chest alone lol.......,,,,but the thing is baby.............. i jus feel like talking lol Yeah, rugby is a crazy sport that requires a full-body workout every time you play. I think that stretch marks are endearing because they are always formed from a positive life-changing event (puberty, losing substantial weight, having a baby, etc). I think that many ladies would love a man who understands what it means to have a few stretchmarks!
Author Awesome Username Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 ^ ^ ^ It can be whatever you choose it to be. The point is, the world isn't as you describe it, but if that's how you wish it to be - so be it. . I certainly do not. When you put it that way, maybe I need to ask myself where my priorities are. Thank you for that advice.
Bejita463 Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 Yeah, rugby is a crazy sport that requires a full-body workout every time you play. I think that stretch marks are endearing because they are always formed from a positive life-changing event (puberty, losing substantial weight, having a baby, etc). I think that many ladies would love a man who understands what it means to have a few stretchmarks! I try to artificially create stretchmarks on a daily basis. Wait, what were we talking about again?
Author Awesome Username Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 I try to artificially create stretchmarks on a daily basis. Wait, what were we talking about again? If you were really Bejita, you would have about a million scars all over your body from fights with Goku, Cell, Nappa and Frieza beating you bloody as a monkey child that could easily pass as stretch marks. But yeah, I guess we're talking about guys that don't want anything out of a relationship with a woman other than sex and having a trophy.
neowulf Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 If you were really Bejita, you would have about a million scars all over your body from fights with Goku, Cell, Nappa and Frieza beating you bloody as a monkey child that could easily pass as stretch marks. But yeah, I guess we're talking about guys that don't want anything out of a relationship with a woman other than sex and having a trophy. ... *blink*... you didn't just make a reference to Dragon Ball Z did you? Pretty girl.. Dragon Ball Z reference... *head explodes*
Recommended Posts