why,why,why!!!

[rateyes]

This is just a rant thread. add your own if you wish.

 

I'm just losing all my faith in myself. Never had anything past a one night stand(that didnt even end in anything but cuddling). Im 18, and still nobody i connect with. I thought being in college would make it easier, nope its harder. Its not like im not trying. I used to be extremely shy, to the point i even had trouble talking to my friends. Im better now and can keep convos going with people i dont know. But the thing is, it is still deep down in me struggling to get out. Ive tried talking to several girls,bout 8 over a years span, but this is when my shy demon comes out. I cant allow myself to be touchy with anyone, share feelings, or anything. im shutting myself off even tho i know i dont want to and want to find someone to share with. Maybe im destined to be alone. This is what im getting after so many failed attempts and not allowing myself to change to try to make my chances better. I guess im meant to be depressed and lonely..

 

with a horribly broken family, i dont think my past will let me go. I never received words of encouragement, loving words/feelings. Only a drunk man yelling, and parents goign to divorce when im done with college. Is it possible to get over this? I think not. No matter how hard i try, i cant be loving towards another human being.

Edited December 2, 2009 by rateyes

[neowulf]

I'm sorry you feel the way you do Rateeyes.

 

It isn't easy trying to shake the influences of your past.

 

That said, you've already made some progress towards working through your shyness. You're only 18.. you have many years ahead of you to gain distance and find yourself.

 

Don't lose hope. I know it can be difficult, but you never know what tomorrow might bring.

 

Just know you aren't the only one who struggles to connect.

[Pizzaman81]

This is just a rant thread. add your own if you wish.

 

I'm just losing all my faith in myself. Never had anything past a one night stand(that didnt even end in anything but cuddling). Im 18, and still nobody i connect with. I thought being in college would make it easier, nope its harder. Its not like im not trying. I used to be extremely shy, to the point i even had trouble talking to my friends. Im better now and can keep convos going with people i dont know. But the thing is, it is still deep down in me struggling to get out. Ive tried talking to several girls,bout 8 over a years span, but this is when my shy demon comes out. I cant allow myself to be touchy with anyone, share feelings, or anything. im shutting myself off even tho i know i dont want to and want to find someone to share with. Maybe im destined to be alone. This is what im getting after so many failed attempts and not allowing myself to change to try to make my chances better. I guess im meant to be depressed and lonely..

 

with a horribly broken family, i dont think my past will let me go. I never received words of encouragement, loving words/feelings. Only a drunk man yelling, and parents goign to divorce when im done with college. Is it possible to get over this? I think not. No matter how hard i try, i cant be loving towards another human being.

 

Dude you're only 18.... You should just concentrate on school and establishing yourself first. You can actively go out and look for girls, but opportunities will arrive when you're not seeking.

 

Take this whole dating thing easy... take it easy don't be too serious about it and don't let it bog you down.

 

I was like you, I couldn't get a date in high school... but later I realized what I was doing wrong, I was being too serious, too clingy, too persistent.

 

In college I concentrated on my studies, girls are a bit more mature there (not by much), then things just happen. I spot someone I like, we talk, initially takes time, then got my first real girlfriend of 3 years in college. It's not always a simple formula. It's more chance than anything else.

[kiss_andmakeup]

You're only 18! Take it easy on yourself.

 

This time in your life is for furthering your education, gaining maturity, building friendships, and working on you. Just make yourself the best you can be. And go on a date here and there if the mood strikes. Not many people make life-partner-quality romantic connections at 18. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[dazzle22]

The others are so right on, you are young, give yourself a break.

 

But I need to add one thing: you are going to need to work through the issues of your terrible home life. Unfortunately, we tend to repeat patterns we grew up with because they feel "right" or "familiar" to us, and we can sabotage good things as a result. Over, and over, until we learn how to break this pattern. You can read some books, but the best would be to find a mentor or a therapist, if you can afford it, to gain some insight into your difficulty connecting. Otherwise this ghost will follow you through many relationships. This I can tell you from experience, over, and over...