jimbo Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Met her online several months ago. It was slow, I mean really slow progression. After two times of missed dates, I just gave up on her. She called me out of the blue and we attempted to get back (or start to) try and get things going. She was better, closer a bit, but still acting very weird. Always wanting hugs, but would not let me kiss her. No touching. Could not pick her up at her house. Would not give me her house phone. After six months of knowing me, heck, I did not even know her last name. We spoke this one morning and she said she'd be in the area that night. I said good, I will call you when I am back in the city. She called me twice, but I missed her call. Called her back five minutes later (she has a cell always on her) and left a message. She called me back four hours later. Effectively killing anything to do at the night. We had plans the next night. Since I figured she blew me off the prior night, I did not call her for that night. She called me an hour before she was supposed to come over. Said to me what happened? I said, what do you mean? She said I thought we were going to hang out night, but you never called me today or me back last night. Are you flaking out on me (keep in mind, she flaked out on me twice already). I said, no, not flaking out. Said since you did not call me back until four hours after I called you back (five minutes after her call) I assumed this night was not going to happen and I am out with my friends. She looses it. Really James. Is that how it is? Well, for someone who always has her phone on her and returns calls immediately, I assumed something was going on last night. She said she did not hear the phone ring or something. Said she was going to meet up with us. Said fine. Told here where we were. She never came by. I really do not think I over reacted. Normally, I would had dropped her in the beginning after the first two flake outs. However, since I acted too hastily on the previous woman, I thought to be more easy going. Which, I think I put up with a lot for little gain. I mean, what turned me off is when she said she did not have her phone on her after she called me five minutes before, I thought that was very fishy. I even told her I picked up tickets for a show that night. She said, sorry for the miss understanding, but you can get your money back for the tickets since we did not go. Other things which I thought were weird about her. One, very secretive about information on her. I mean she's agilely 34, living by herself, going to college for her psych degree. On all of the times we went out, she NEVER even offered to pay for a cup of coffee. This is over six months. Looking over this, I still think I gave way too much leeway, but I do think about her some of the time; as well as what could have been. After that incident, we've not talked or anything. I still think something was up when she did not call me back after she called me twice, then exploded out of no where the next day.
New Again Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 but I do think about her some of the time; as well as what could have been. I'm not really sure what your question is, since you pretty much just went on for several paragraphs about all the things wrong with this girl and how nothing ever really worked out. I'm also not really sure why you are second guessing yourself and wondering what could have been....since you just outlined in several paragraphs a crappy pattern of behavior that was drawn out over six months. You've built up some kind of fantasy or something and projected it onto this flawed girl (who also happens to not be very interested in you), so what is there to wonder about? You clearly made the right decision in not seeing or talking to her anymore. I think you need to think about the people you are interested in and who you date and you won't have this problem.
Author jimbo Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 All true. Not sure why, but I find myself thinking about her daily. Been a few months, so I really can't call her.
jerseyboy Posted December 3, 2009 Posted December 3, 2009 She was shady anyway. Good riddance. You have to pay attention to what people do, not what they say. When I was younger met a girl. liked her. Asked her out to dinner, she said shes usually tired after work, but would love to just hang out at her place. Went over,talked, things happened, good date. So it was always the same. Always only ever wanted to hang out at her place. And pretty much was always about sex. I mean we talked, and she was wicked smart, and fun to be with otherwise. But it was always like got there, within ten minuets we were messing around, if not sooner. Now this is going on for weeks,liek 4-5 times a week, but Im not thinking anything other than she really likes sex. Plus she was really good at it, so I wasnt complaining. I mean Im with her basically all the time after work. Im at her place, so its not like shes married etc. Im not thinking bf cause no one is ever around or calling. Just thinking ok shes an energizer bunny. BY week three im starting to want more. Like introduce her to my friends, go out somewhere, just do anything. So now Im pushing her to go out. And she really doesn want to do it. It basically took me saying like listen, I want to do things with you, but if it isnt goig to happen, maybe its not going to work out. So she finally agrees to go somewhere, but like the most out of the way place with only college kids around. But whatever were out. But she looiks nervous as hell the entire time.Were sitting at this table all the way to the back, just like hiding. She was about 4 years older, but the vibe im getting is shes embarassed of me. WTF. So I come out and ask her, are you embarassed to be seen with me? Shes like no no, and starts complimenting, that its her and she doesnt like being around people. But Im not buying it any more and getting kinda pissed/Im leaving type of reaction. So I did end up taking her home and leaving. Didnt call She finally calls like a couple days later, and starts confessing. Shes "with" some rich old guy, he pays her bills, and she doesnt want to go out because shes afraid someone will see her. She only sees him one or two nights a week, and claiming its not about sex, hes very old, and just likes company. Moral: When their actions dont match their words, the actions are the reality
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