mifflin90 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I know this girl. We hang out every so often (roughly once a month), usually it's just the 2 of us. I've taken her to 3 weddings as my date. We talk fairly often, probably about once or twice a week. Up to this point we've just been friends, no physical relationship whatsoever. But I have had really strong feelings for her the past few months and just can not work up the guts to tell/show her how i feel. However, I'm at the point now where I know if I continue to put it off I'll just get more and more frustrated that I haven't told her and eventually she will meet someone else. So I'm ready to take the chance and let her know how I feel, even if it does put our friendship in jeopardy. So my question is: do I tell her, or do I show her (kiss her, etc.) I figure the showing her is a higher risk higher reward type situation which I would probably be okay with, except I've chickened out just telling her on so many occasions that showing her seems almost impossible for me. I've also gotten the suggestion of sending her a hand written letter since I have trouble telling her in person. I have a feeling she likes me, she has asked me to hang out multiple times, and whenever she is invited to hang out with a group of mutual friends we have she will only go if she knows I will be there. Any input is really appreciated. Thanks.
Boundary Problem Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Plan a video night at home and try and orchestrate it so that you are sitting beside each other on the couch. Let nature do the rest. don't send the letter. Are you any good at kissing? Yeah - you are either going to succeed or crash and burn on the kissing.
Author mifflin90 Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 Thanks for the tip. I have a second question: Would it be completely and utterly a huge mistake to tell her over the phone? Like I said before we only hang out once a month on average and if I don't get a chance to see her soon I will be really tempted to just tell her over the phone.
jerseyboy Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Show her But dont necessarily just sneak the kissing on her. If thats what she really wants already, you saved time., But more thna likely youll weird her out a little. You should do it just like you would with any other girl. Be more touchy feely. Read her reactions. Compliment her more. But if you are going to kiss her give her a second to see it coming lol Get too close, dont have to be touching necessarily, just in her space. Look her in the eyes. Even touch her face first if you want. If she doesnt want you to, shell find a way to let you know. You can also work in somewhere, as in somewhere it can actually happen, and somewhere between all the rest, just how kissable she looks. But you have to do what works for you, what sounds right coming from you. Even if it doesnt happen, you have put the idea in her head. Good or bad shell be thinking about it. And willl probably even bring up the topic of you two and how she sees you. You dont need to go from friends to profesing undyying love and asking for a relationship. Let it build, unless shes alkready there.
Author mifflin90 Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 Oh I definitely don't think telling her on the phone is a better idea. I just don't know how long it will be until I see her again because our schedules, and I want to tell her as soon as possible. But yes it's probably better to just wait. Also, we do touch each other a lot. We are very flirty with each other, probably more so her towards me. However, she is that way with everybody so I don't look to much into it. Thanks for all the input so far. I would love to hear from some more people.
foxyroxy_msu83 Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 Thanks for the tip. I have a second question: Would it be completely and utterly a huge mistake to tell her over the phone? Like I said before we only hang out once a month on average and if I don't get a chance to see her soon I will be really tempted to just tell her over the phone. no do not tell her over the phone. if you live close enough to her just tell her in person or like someone said just plan a movie night and let the mood do the rest!
callingyouuu Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 Show her, wait for her reaction, and if it's positive, then you can tell her. Only in that order.
Author mifflin90 Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 The big problem is that we aren't that close to each other (30-40 minute drive). So we're close enough so that we can see each other fairly often, but it usually takes some planning.
Author mifflin90 Posted December 3, 2009 Author Posted December 3, 2009 (edited) Update: Well I called her today to see if she wanted to hang out friday. Turns out she was at her parent's house today, which is only 10 minutes from my house, so i invited her to coffee with me and some of my friends. while i was dropping her off afterwards i told her i'd like to go out but as more than friends. she said she was already sort of seeing someone and doesn't like to date more than one person at a time which i understand, i wouldn't want to share her with someone else. but she thanked me lol. So yea, it hurts right now but I'll move on. Thanks everybody for your input. Edited December 3, 2009 by mifflin90
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