IDGH. Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 i've been dating and fooling around with this guy for about 6months now. we just recently started hanging out again a couple weeks ago because i ended things for about a month .. we were never official, title wise. but he told me he wasn't gonna be with other girls, and vice versa. and i trust him when he says that, but not having the title still ****s with my head, and was one of the main reasons why i ended things. so the other night i brought things up with him again ... and asked him why he keeps me around ... if he just uses me .. we've had this conversation often .. and he always says it's not like that at all ... and he almost gets mad when i bring it up .. like i'm insulting him. so i asked him what i am to him then .. and he said .. my wifey. soo what i wanna know is .. what the heck does wifey imply ? i don't get it. this may be a stupid question but i'm confused.
Bejita463 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 not having the title still ****s with my head, /headdesk.
Author IDGH. Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 what? why? you're a man, give me your perspective puhleaseeeee!
Bejita463 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 what? why? you're a man, give me your perspective puhleaseeeee! Why? Why would you let something so trivial ruin a relationship? Girlfriend, queen of England... who cares what your title is? He's already told you that you are the only person he is seeing.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 and he almost gets mad when i bring it up .. like i'm insulting him. so i asked him what i am to him then .. and he said .. my wifey. "Wifey"??? He sounds like a child. I think if he were really into you, he wouldn't have problems with "the title". He'd proudly call you his girlfriend.
dreamergrl Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I've seen this slang used in reference of "girlfriend"
lonelyandfrustrated Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Urban dictionary defines it as "not your only, but your favorite."
Author IDGH. Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 i know... you're right. after i ended things w him i felt like an idiot .. and that he didn't deserve it .. it's just because i was over thinking things too much. he's told me that i should just "feel us". and i told myself i wasn't going to let myself feel like i needed the title this time around .. but it's just so hard. like when i'm with him ... it doesn't bother me. because i can feel and see that he cares about me. but when i'm not with him ... or i haven't heard from him .. i get nervous. i just feel like the title is like a security blanket, ya know? idk if it's because when we first started dating he was hooking up with annother girl the same time he was hooking up with me, and about a wk after he realized i knew about her .. he ended it. like cold turkey .. just completely cut her out. and wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. deleted everything from her, ignored her calls, etc.
Author IDGH. Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 i know... you're right. after i ended things w him i felt like an idiot .. and that he didn't deserve it .. it's just because i was over thinking things too much. he's told me that i should just "feel us". and i told myself i wasn't going to let myself feel like i needed the title this time around .. but it's just so hard. like when i'm with him ... it doesn't bother me. because i can feel and see that he cares about me. but when i'm not with him ... or i haven't heard from him .. i get nervous. i just feel like the title is like a security blanket, ya know? idk if it's because when we first started dating he was hooking up with annother girl the same time he was hooking up with me, and about a wk after he realized i knew about her .. he ended it. like cold turkey .. just completely cut her out. and wanted absolutely nothing to do with her. deleted everything from her, ignored her calls, etc. then that's when he started calling me baby, and i told him not to call me that unless i was his only baby, and he said i was his only, and he swore to god there were no other girls.
Author IDGH. Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 "Wifey"??? He sounds like a child. I think if he were really into you, he wouldn't have problems with "the title". He'd proudly call you his girlfriend. i think one thing .. well two things .. that might be holding him back from "the title" are .. one) he's currently unemployed. two) he hasn't had a car since we met bc he totaled his.... because he told me .. that if i moved to florida with him ... bc he'd have a job down there if his dad bought a marina... then i would def be his girlfriend. he didn't say flat out that's why i'd be his gf ... but that's what i got from it. i feel like he feels inadequate.
dreamergrl Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Is it the lack of title or his actions that make you nervous?
Author IDGH. Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 (edited) idk. i guess it's a combination. like i said ..... when i'm with him, he shows me he cares for me, he's not always the best with words .. i know this .. and he's said this to me before .. that for him .. actions speak louder than words. he said he doesn't want to feel like he has to talk to someone 24/7 .. and that he likes trust over being checked up on. but i wanna talk to him/be with him all the time ..... i guess that's not healthy though right? but i feel like he should always wanna talk to me just as much as i wanna talk to him. i think i'm over thinking things to much and should just chill out maybe. Edited December 1, 2009 by IDGH.
Bejita463 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 i feel like he should always wanna talk to me just as much as i wanna talk to him. He IS talking to you. He's just not doing it in a way you are listening to. He outright told you he is a person who speaks more through his actions and behavior than through words.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I'm confused why you didn't ask HIM what it meant.
aerogurl87 Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 It's just a nickname OP, I used to call my ex my hubby all the time after we had been dating for awhile.
jerseyboy Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Unless hes black, smack him upside the head and explain to his azz that he isn't a gangstah. Also I wouldn't take too much comfort in the adjective. Usually implied is a subset of other women hes seeing as well also with their own special designations.
Author IDGH. Posted December 1, 2009 Author Posted December 1, 2009 I'm confused why you didn't ask HIM what it meant. i did. but i think me asking what it meant just upset him more ... because it was like 3 in the morning when we were having this conversation .. and he told me to stop over thinking stuff and just chill out til tmrw, and we could continue the conversation. buttttt, i didn't bring it up again lol
norajane Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 You sound very insecure in this relationship. Is that because of his actions? Are you always anxious and nervous in relationships or just this one? Anxiety is a red flag. That's your gut instinct telling you that you don't trust this guy to have your best interests at heart.
New Again Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 It means whatever you two have going on works for him for right now...but when it's not working out for him so well anymore, or he meets another girl he wants to get with or whatever he wants an easy escape: "But you're not my gf, I don't answer to you."
Author IDGH. Posted December 2, 2009 Author Posted December 2, 2009 i asked him tonight again what he meant by the title, and he got upset, and told me to take life as it comes and goes. no idea what he means ...
New Again Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 i asked him tonight again what he meant by the title, and he got upset, and told me to take life as it comes and goes. no idea what he means ... See my post above, he just told you EXACTLY what I told you he meant...if you think about it. Take life as it comes and goes = it works for him now what you've got going on, but he doesn't want to be responsible to you in anyway. He wants to do what he wants (and again, for right now, this thing with you works for him)...but when you're not what he wants anymore, or he wants someone on the side, or he wants to go get hammered at a strip club with his buddies OR WHATEVER he wants to not have to answer you. So when you get pissed at him, or hurt, for doing any of those things he can say "But I don't answer to you, you're not my gf."
jerseyboy Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 i asked him tonight again what he meant by the title, and he got upset, and told me to take life as it comes and goes. no idea what he means ... Next time he asks for sex, get upset, and tell him to just take life as it comes and goes.
woopster638 Posted December 2, 2009 Posted December 2, 2009 Next time he asks for sex, get upset, and tell him to just take life as it comes and goes. hahahahaha! dats a good 1
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