lboogie1118 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Here is our history: I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and we are serious. He lost his wife 11 months ago. He has 4 kids ranging from 6-15 years of age. I am divorced for 3 years with 2 kids ages 3 and 7. We want to combine our lives and get married eventuallt. Sometimes when you know you found the right one (especially after dating for 3 years), you just know it. BUT as you can see, I want to make sure we are doing the right thing. Our kids get along and I feel like his kids like me and I know my kids like him, etc. I don’t want to move in until we are together for a year and we are engaged. I am just scared of all the “what ifs” with his kids. I am not trying to replace their mother but since 3 of them are boys, they don’t talk about their feelings, so it’s hard to gage. The way he treats me and cares for me is differnt in a good way. I automatically fell in love with him. Now our kids are involved and know each other and are taking a liking to each other except the boys...dont really know whats going on there but anyway, i digress. My question to u is this: if you had everything you wanted in a man BUT there was one thing that really bothered you, how would you handle it? Heres my issue: I found out after dating him for 6 months that he talks and mostly texts other women in a flirty way. They have been his freinds for years and he claims that nothing has never happened between them, its just honest flirting and means nothing. He swears he will never cheat and honestly, i believe him. But, I am also not comfortbale with the 4-5 women that he flirts with on a constant basis. He claims he has always been this way and I dont think it will change. His wife dealt with this for 12 years but I am not sure I can. I would always feel like hes cheating in a way or have a question in my head. Am I over analyzing this? [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]We have a lot at stake becuase of the kids. If we move further I would be a mother of 6 kids and not 2 and would have to take care of him and alllll the kids. I dont know if Im willing to do all of this now I know more about him. So I decided it was too much (I have infidelity issues from my past) and I broke up with him. Its been 3 weeks. I miss him terribly and am so unhappy without him. We met over the thanksgiving holiday and we are trying it one more time. He says all the right things to me...claims he will not text or associate with other women anymore. He even said, go ahead and check my phone (this is how I found this all out in the first place!). He claims hes going to be good to me and not associate with other women and do what is necessary to make our reltionship work. Heres what I want to know:[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]1) is it possible for him to change and realize his mistake?[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]2) Have I just been won over? Should I go back to him and give him one more try?[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]3) Stick with my gutt and just stay strong and by myself[/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]Thanks!!!![/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][/sIZE][/FONT]
jerseyboy Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Id be more worried that he was dating presumably no later than 5 months after his wife passed away. Assuming he wasnt dating anyone else before you and it actually started sooner. Really?
Author lboogie1118 Posted November 30, 2009 Author Posted November 30, 2009 he was just messing around after his wife passed...5 months after she passed. Then we started dating. I think he always had these "friends" though when he was married.
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