so_mo34 Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 [sIZE=2]im in love with this guy who i work at the same place with, who i have been hooking up with since the summer. i often think he is using me for sex, but he gives me mixed signals. he would text me only when he wants to see me and would always mention 'when do you want to ****?' in the text. he asked me once to go out to this club with his friends. why would he want me there..wouldn't he want to flirt with other girls? he would flirt with this other girl at work and keep asking her to hang out even when she has a boyfriend. he lets me sleep over at his house, he was grabbing my hand and holding it for a few seconds, he would stroke my face in bed. he doesn't seem to want to cuddle much though. after that night i saw him a couple weeks ago he has been acting weird. acting a bit distant and sad. then he would be fine again. he usually tells me to text him, but doesn't make the effort often to text me first very often. he is going away on a trip for 3 weeks so i texted him last week telling him i wanted to see him before he leaves. he says 'why you want some sex?". so i get the feeling he thinks i am using him for sex as well. he said he would text me the other night never did. he is leaving for 3 weeks tomorrow and doesn't seem to want to see me before he goes. i really want to text him but i don't want to look desperate. i really want to know what's going on with us..he is really confusing me. i want to be with him. i am 21 and he is 35. the thought of him banging other girls in florida makes me cry. i want to know what's going on because i am worried he is going to get a gf and i missed my chance or something. but he seems to be hesitating on communcating with me and i don't know what to do! i keep thinking that maybe he is waiting on me? (could just be getting my hopes up) but then if a guy really likes us then wouldn't he want to talk to us and see us all the time? he never wants to take me out anywhere or anything on dates. but i keep thinking maybe he is too scared to tell me how he feels because maybe he thinks i don't like him? HEEEELP!!! [/sIZE]
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Yes. You are being used for sex. Plain and simple. Quit looking for "signs." If he was into you for more than just sex, he would say so.
Midnight Rider Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Yep, he is using you for sure. He is even so direct and indecent as to ask if you want to **** via text messages. The guy is 14 yrs older and he knows you are not marriage or gf material. If you want to keep it strictly sex, then fine as long as you don't get more attached emotionally. If you are having a tough time coping with him, then get out of this relationship because it will only lead to more pain and confusion.
Lish Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 Yes. You are being used for sex. Plain and simple. Quit looking for "signs." If he was into you for more than just sex, he would say so. Yep, he is using you for sure. He is even so direct and indecent as to ask if you want to **** via text messages. The guy is 14 yrs older and he knows you are not marriage or gf material. If you want to keep it strictly sex, then fine as long as you don't get more attached emotionally. If you are having a tough time coping with him, then get out of this relationship because it will only lead to more pain and confusion. The bold bits. Pay attention!
ADF Posted November 30, 2009 Posted November 30, 2009 He's maneuvered you into a FWB relationship, and once a man does that, the relationship will almost never go any further. Men prefer FWB to real relationships. FWB means sex with no strings, the ultimate win/win situation for him. If you press him for more, he will likely just dump you and find another FWB. NEVER get into a FWB situation with a guy you really like. Once a guy has a FWB, he has no incentive to let the relationship go further. He is already getting what he wants.
stillafool Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 I have to agree with the others. He is definitely using you for sex. He has put you in the FWB category. If you were trying to be GF material you would not give him sex too easily and would set boundaries. Men like that because it means you will not easily sleep with other guys. The next time you like a guy don't sleep with him until you have made a deeper connection.
stillafool Posted December 1, 2009 Posted December 1, 2009 Yep, he is using you for sure. He is even so direct and indecent as to ask if you want to **** via text messages. The guy is 14 yrs older and he knows you are not marriage or gf material. If you want to keep it strictly sex, then fine as long as you don't get more attached emotionally. If you are having a tough time coping with him, then get out of this relationship because it will only lead to more pain and confusion. I have to agree with this also. He is not respecting you at all when you allow him to talk to you this way. When they don't respect you it is impossible to have a meaningful relationship with that person.
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