mountaindewbass Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Me and my Fiance keep arguing over trust and controlling. Im a 24 year old male and she is 23 years of age. Im going to post our most recent arguement and im hoping some of you can help me out. Ok so a year ago we looked at this apartment complex, it looked really nice. All the people were nice and the grounds were well kept. We are getting married soon and would like a fresh start together. So we looked into this apartment complex again and again it looks really nice and its someplace we would like to live. So here is where the issue arose. I looked up some online reviews and alot of people complained about the managers and the time it takes for them to fix various appliances in the apartments. Horror stories of people getting kicked out..ect. So its been about a week since i told her i really want to move there. Then after i looked at the reviews and told her about it she told me this. "You always do this stuff behind my back, we should do the reviews together, how can i trust you if you wont let me be part of the researching" to me i view this is her making a much bigger issue then it is. I was just trying to find a safe place for us to live, and it doesnt look that safe...and how is this a trust issue. i was doing it for us? yet she says im controlling and its my way or the high way. help anybody?!?!?!? -Tyler
neowulf Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 "You always do this stuff behind my back, we should do the reviews together, how can i trust you if you wont let me be part of the researching" to me i view this is her making a much bigger issue then it is. I was just trying to find a safe place for us to live, and it doesnt look that safe...and how is this a trust issue. i was doing it for us? yet she says im controlling and its my way or the high way. -Tyler I suspect there's probably more going on here than this initial incident. Consider the following for a moment; Are you generally making decisions that affect both of you, without asking for her input? Are you the one who gets "final say" on how things are going to be generally? Relationships are *all* about communication and compromise. Perhaps your girlfriend is starting to feel that she doesn't really have a lot of say in the critical choices of your relationship. A lot of the time when couples fight, they're *not* fighting about the issue at hand... they're fighting over something deeper. My advice? Get some marriage counselling *before* you get married. It will help both of you sort through any potential issues and address them before they blow up.
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