mr.dream merchant Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Its been since June 10th since my ex and I split, not sure if its been long enough for me to heal. Everytime I get close to scheduling a date with a nice girl, I kind of...back out. Something clicks in my head and it turns me off to the situation. Problem is, I actually have one planned now. And she's a nice girl. I just don't want to go through with the date at all, or continue talking to her. Everything is all fun and games but when I start thinking about commitment and a serious relationship again? It puts me off. This may be due to the sort of bitter taste I have left in my mouth from such a horrible breakup. I feel as if I have so much on my plate that I can barely even squeeze a GF into my lifestyle. I'm working two jobs now, working on my Bachelor's degree, I frequently attend my local gym and hang out with friends, go out on the weekends. Thinking back on my last GF, she was so needy and it took up so much of my freedom and time, and hobbies I had fell off, school and work fell off, friends DEFINITELY fell off, and my overall health and physical attractiveness fell off. I don't want that again. I'd just rather keep all of that for myself than to share my life with someone else and lose it again at this point in time. So now I have to break it off with this lovely girl, and most likely crush her hopes and spirits because she is way way waaaay enthused about seeing me. I'd rather not lie about it though because then she'll just swing back around for next weekend. I'd rather let her know that I'm emotionally unavailable. Physically to. A piece of ass can always be obtained easily, I just don't want anything to do with females right now. Another thing is, I begin to feel sort of..constricted? Dunno, the thought of being with another girl so seriously seems restricting. Again, I think this is all just left over taste of a bad GF in my mouth, and I know this one would be a breath of fresh air. But I'm not ready for it. Figured I'd just tell her openly and honestly that I'm emotionally unavailable and that it wouldn't be fair to her for this thing to go any further.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Another thing is, I begin to feel sort of..constricted? Dunno, the thought of being with another girl so seriously seems restricting. But you're just going on a date, right? A first date? That's not so serious. You can go on dates without being "serious" or constricted. However, if you genuinely have no interest in even casual dating, then yes, you should be up front with her, so that neither of you waste your time. Maybe you just need more time! No shame in that.
Ms. Joolie Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 You bring up an intresting topic, should guys date when they are emotionally unavailable? It seems you have your life on track, that's great. It's only this emotional disconnectivity that you are having then... If you are not ready to date, don't date... keep friends then. Go out and have a good time, enjoy life. You can meet women, and only ask those out who you are truly attracted to, who you truly want to find out more about and would like to spend some time with. It doesn't sound like you are available or really interested in this one girl you mention. Was she attracted to you first then and you are just kinda playing along? Don't be unfair with her, if you are not interested you need to let her go. Or maybe you were attracted to her and then lost interest? And you know it doesn't have to be about commitments and serious relationships right now. You can just date woman casually. Just set up dates, have fun... with those woman you are genuinely interested in. Slowly, slowly open yourself back up to women again. We are special, you know.
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