EYECANDY000 Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Sorry so long! Please help! I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and it has been extremly hard for me. As those of you remember I posted a month or so ago aboutif is was right of me to go on vacation with him over the christmas holiday considering the fact that he has kids. Well we pushed the vacation up and we just came back from an excellent trip. Well, the last day we was there we were drinking and enjoying the atmosphere. It wasn't nothing harsh justt a few glasses of dessert wine. We were talking about past relationships, but not in a tacky way, it was very tasteful. But then he started getting into details about how his ex had such a great body, how she had him feel good when they were together, how she talked so dirty. At after about three minutes , I finally stopped him and said 'dude your dwelling! Its like you are reliving those moments.. he re assured me that he wasn't, but I still felt a little uneasy. Plus he stated that she's like his comfort zone, whenever. They break up and he tries to date someone else, he alwsya go back to her. Now , after that, we had a petty argument and we both went to sleep upset, well I was upset. Then next day we fly home and there wasn't much conversation. When we get to my house we relaxed for a few hours and I drove him home. The next day I realized that he was still logged into my phone and I was able to access his emails. I thought about if for a minute, but then I felt like I needed to know if he was still talking to his ex.. well nothing was really in the emails but he emailed some chick asking for a massage.. and when she responded back with a flirty comment he never responded back. . So I called him and aksed why he's asking some chick for a massage while was was on vacation or any other day. And he stated that she does that for a living. .. my mouth dropped.. and now I feel so stupid. He said I had no reason to snoop and he want a break from me, which I pleaded that I'm sorry. But it said it was to late. So now I'm like devastated because I really want him back. I've emailed him and explained how I felt insecure because he spoke so highly of his ex. And I know it doesn't justify anything but I'm sorry. Well he never responded back. Now I find myself riding over his house in the middle of the night to see if anyone is there. I text his with stupid notactions like if you still love me look at the window. I sit in my car down the street from his house hopping to see him. I just don't know what to do. I finally got a chance to talk to him yesterday and it was a lot of crying on my end, a lot of begging, and pleading. But nothing. Said he would never trust me again. I wake up early everyday because I can't sleep. I feel like a zombie. Also he told me he texted his ex and told her we broke up and happy thanksgiving. Which I was about to rage about, but I didn't So I met someone who seems nice, but I'm still not over my ex of course. And I don't want to put him in a messy situation exspecially if me and my ex get back together. I don't want to push him away compltely because I just need someone to occupy my mind, but I also don't want to use him. This is my first break up with someone who I truely loved. And I don't know how to get back into dating without feeling like I'm using someone. Any advice orhelp is appreciated. I go on here everyone as rejuvinattopm because I get a sense of relief that I'm not the only one going through this. Ant helps , when I get the sense to ride to his house to just stay home and try to continue NC. Please help!
sumdude Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Two choices. Just don't date and let yourself heal before getting back out there. or Date someone to help you get over him and be very clear with whoever you're dating that it probably won't go anywhere because you're heart still with someone else..
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