citizen67 Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 I have been seeing this guy casually. We've gotten together maybe 5 times. Lately we have both been busy and its been hard to coordinate, especially since he lives about an hour away. So he contacted me early yesterday and asked if I wanted to hang out. I said yes, but that I had some family plans for that night, so it might be late. He said "late is ok, call me later." I said "ok" I called around 8:40 and left a vm that I was on my way home. Went home, showered, changed, etc., and waited. Around 10:20 I called again and said "well, I am going to bed soon." At 11:30 I sent an email RE: Called you 2x, and in the body said "wtf??" This morning I found a response to my email sent at like 1 a.m., saying "you had no idea when you were going to be available. I am not at your beck and call. I went out." Now, I could understand if something came up and he changed plans not knowing when I'd be home, but I think a phone call was in order. Even if he just left a message on my home phone saying "hey something came up, not going to be able to make it." I would have at least been able to consider making other plans. I'm really getting sick of dating.
New Again Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Ew. What a jerk - he totally blew you off. He's right that he's not at your beck and call, but he shouldn't have agreed to such a flexible date if he wasn't up for it. Or called to cancel, or answered his phone so you both were on the same page.
TigerCub Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 Well you certainly shouldn't have sent the 2nd text, I mean you already called him twice and he didn't get back to you. He's a jerk and if he tries to contact you again, don't waste your time. It seems like there was definitely a misunderstanding about the plans, but I totally agree that he should have at least called you to tell you that he's going to be doing something else, so that you too could arrange your own plans and not waste your night. He seems very socially retarded.
Author citizen67 Posted November 29, 2009 Author Posted November 29, 2009 ^I didn't send a second text. I sent no texts. I called 2x (he told me to call, I was under the impression we were getting together). and then I sent one email saying "wtf?" Because I wanted an explanation. I don't believe in playing games. And I'm glad I sent the email b/c at least I got SOME explanation, even though it was totally ridiculous.
New Again Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 I actually agree with tiger cub that you shouldn't have sent that email. A more appropriate and mature response to his lack of communication might have been a voicemail (the second time you called probably) saying something along the lines of "Hey, I thought we had plans, what's up." Then he most likely wouldn't have responded with a nasty message and you two could have discussed what happened. Maybe you still wouldn't want to go out with him again or vice versa, but there's something to be said for communication and trying to end things on a positive or neutral note. Something to keep in mind for the future.
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