pandagirl Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I voice my dislike of casual sex early in the dating process and judge the woman's reaction. If she's not promiscuous, she'll usually agree. I don't have to ask anything. Non-promiscuous women despise sluts even more than men do, because the sluts created the environment where (some) men stop returning a girl's calls if she doesn't "give it up" after 3 dates. Also, I've had the experience where a woman stops taking me seriously once I reveal that my "number" is relatively low (I have nothing to hide). That's a sign that either (a) she's promiscuous, or (b) she otherwise has some screws loose. I think you are doing yourself a BIG disservice to judge so harshly. Even "good girls" have sex before the third date. Also, a woman who is SO judgmental and harsh toward other womens' sexual habit is a major red flag. And also possibly uptight! It also depends on how you are voicing your "dislike" of casual sex. If you just casually state it's a personal preference, no big deal, but if you're going into some big, heated diatribe about how it's awful, and slutty and unethical, that could definitely turn a lot of women off!
Author MRA_NYC Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 WHERE are you proving these theories "correct." If a guy comes up to me and tries to make normal, polite conversation, I will always engage for some amount of time. I don't know of any woman -- at least my peers -- who react well to superficial conversation starters from men though, ie. "You're very beautiful," "Hey sexy," etc. You might be this way, but a lot of women are very easily intimidated and won't hesitate to disparage a man who makes them feel even slightly uncomfortable. I'm not saying that all women are this way; most aren't, but there are enough of them to be a pain in the ass. Women really shouldn't mention it when they reject men, at all. If that man later approaches a friend or acquaintance of hers, he has the right to a clean slate.
Author MRA_NYC Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 I think you are doing yourself a BIG disservice to judge so harshly. Even "good girls" have sex before the third date. Also, a woman who is SO judgmental and harsh toward other womens' sexual habit is a major red flag. And also possibly uptight! It also depends on how you are voicing your "dislike" of casual sex. If you just casually state it's a personal preference, no big deal, but if you're going into some big, heated diatribe about how it's awful, and slutty and unethical, that could definitely turn a lot of women off! I wouldn't go into a diatribe, since it breaks the flow of the date, but I definitely mention that I wouldn't marry a woman with a promiscuous past. At my age (26) I don't date women I couldn't marry, so I'm strongly insinuating that if she's had casual sex, she should end the date. I don't know where you get the idea that it's okay for a woman to make a habit of having sex before the 3rd date. Sex that early is possibly okay in event of a once-in-a-lifetime connection. Note that I said once-in-a-lifetime. If a woman sleeps with a man on or before the 3rd date, and doesn't marry that guy, she's not a "good girl"; she's a mess. Conscientious men can't afford to have sex with women they couldn't raise a child with, because all forms of birth control fail so any sex act can result in pregnancy. Women should hold themselves to the same standard; don't f∪ck a guy you couldn't raise a kid with.
dazzle22 Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I voice my dislike of casual sex early in the dating process and judge the woman's reaction. If she's not promiscuous, she'll usually agree. I don't have to ask anything. Non-promiscuous women despise sluts even more than men do, because the sluts created the environment where (some) men stop returning a girl's calls if she doesn't "give it up" after 3 dates. Also, I've had the experience where a woman stops taking me seriously once I reveal that my "number" is relatively low (I have nothing to hide). That's a sign that either (a) she's promiscuous, or (b) she otherwise has some screws loose. Well, I am a 51 year old woman married to a gorgeous younger man 12 yrs younger than me who used to be a playboy, and I think it is an incredibly sad commentary on our times that you can't find any women who aren't totally ho tramps. I could not BELIEVE all the women who slept with my husband at the drop of a hat, and frankly his history really bothers me and I can't wrap my brain around all these women these days who want someone who's dipped his pen in many whores' ink wells. I have to deal with his past but I don't like it! He married me, because like you, he did not want the type you speak of, and I totally am NOT, having had only my ex before him. Total double standard of course, given his history. I wish he had been like you. I suspect you are not looking in the right places. Bars are full of tramps. If I were a guy I would NEVER look in a bar for a good woman. Maybe you need to leave the city on weekends and do something where you might meet more women of substance. Perhaps volunteer for a good cause. My guess is that ho tramps don't volunteer for anything that matters. Frankly I would play my cards closer to the chest than you do, and not reveal much of anything about my past that some relative stranger could judge. I personally think you sound like a gem of a man, and I think you are "bottom fishing." Pull your line up a bit!!
pandagirl Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I wouldn't go into a diatribe, since it breaks the flow of the date, but I definitely mention that I wouldn't marry a woman with a promiscuous past. At my age (26) I don't date women I couldn't marry, so I'm strongly insinuating that if she's had casual sex, she should end the date. I don't know where you get the idea that it's okay for a woman to make a habit of having sex before the 3rd date. Sex that early is possibly okay in event of a once-in-a-lifetime connection. Note that I said once-in-a-lifetime. If a woman sleeps with a man on or before the 3rd date, and doesn't marry that guy, she's not a "good girl"; she's a mess. Conscientious men can't afford to have sex with women they couldn't raise a child with, because all forms of birth control fail so any sex act can result in pregnancy. Women should hold themselves to the same standard; don't f∪ck a guy you couldn't raise a kid with. I respect your opinion, but oh brother! I say this seriously -- you live in NYC, where most people are liberal and where women have embraced their sexual liberation decades ago. I haven't slept with many people and I wait a good while before I sleep with someone, but if a guy I was on a date told me he wouldn't marry a woman with a promiscuous past, there would be no second date. I feel like I can speak for many women when I say that. It's hugely judgmental, and makes you appear very misogynistic (not saying that you are). I would not date someone like that.
Vertex Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I'm gonna have to side with Pandagirl here. I'm getting a sense that part of it may be in your approach. You seem to make a lot of assumptions about women through indicators that may not be accurate. I can tell you for a fact that only having had a few sex partners is likely not going to be a dealbreaker to most (I've only had two). For one thing, I can't see why you'd even bring that up so early on. It's possible that you're giving off a certain aura that turns girls off, and in response you just assume they're promiscuous. Just because a girl may have sex before the third date does not make her a slut, either, and it doesn't necessarily have to be a "once in a lifetime connection." I suspect that your issues with NYC would follow you to most other cities too with that kind of mindset. It sounds like you have some deep-seated insecurities when it comes to a woman's past.
cognac Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Totally agree. If I had it my way I would only marry a virgin. A woman with many sexual partners is not only a slut, but also very likely to cheat. Women see a man who has many sexual partners as great and a sign of great status, but it's just not the same for a woman. Knowing a woman I love has had casual sex with strange men not only disgusts me, but also hurts me that she is bankrupt of morals. Unfortunately in 21st century america, you're not going to find a chick who hasn't had a few one night stands, unless she is EXTREMELY unattractive.
Author MRA_NYC Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 I respect your opinion, but oh brother! I say this seriously -- you live in NYC, where most people are liberal and where women have embraced their sexual liberation decades ago. I haven't slept with many people and I wait a good while before I sleep with someone, but if a guy I was on a date told me he wouldn't marry a woman with a promiscuous past, there would be no second date. I feel like I can speak for many women when I say that. It's hugely judgmental, and makes you appear very misogynistic (not saying that you are). I would not date someone like that. Why is it "misogynistic" not to want to marry a promiscuous woman? If anything, it's misogynistic to be accepting of female promiscuity because it indicates a belief that female morality isn't important. Also, the men who get most of the casual sex? They're some of the biggest creeps, and worst misogynists, around. Enabling their disgusting, woman-breaking lifestyle does nothing for the feminist cause. Feminism is great as far as it stands for the promotion of human (female human) excellence. "Slut power" is the bigotry of low expectations, on the other hand.
Author MRA_NYC Posted November 27, 2009 Author Posted November 27, 2009 Totally agree. If I had it my way I would only marry a virgin. A woman with many sexual partners is not only a slut, but also very likely to cheat. Women see a man who has many sexual partners as great and a sign of great status, but it's just not the same for a woman. Knowing a woman I love has had casual sex with strange men not only disgusts me, but also hurts me that she is bankrupt of morals. Unfortunately in 21st century america, you're not going to find a chick who hasn't had a few one night stands, unless she is EXTREMELY unattractive. Agree. A person with a high number is a massive divorce/infidelity risk. Some people want to explore deeper levels of intimacy and an increasingly intense spiritual connection with one person, through a love that grows over time. Others have a taste for sexual variety. There doesn't seem to be much overlap between the two categories, and you-- regardless of your gender and sexual orientation-- want to marry within the first. People in the second category will grow bored of you no matter who you are; if you're a great lover and astonishingly good-looking, you're just fueling their confidence and image, making it easier for them to have affairs. I don't understand why so many women view promiscuous men as having "great status". These men are generally useless human beings who learned a few cheap social gimmicks, and use them to pursue an empty and disgusting lifestyle; what's so appealing about that?
cognac Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Why is it "misogynistic" not to want to marry a promiscuous woman? If anything, it's misogynistic to be accepting of female promiscuity because it indicates a belief that female morality isn't important. Also, the men who get most of the casual sex? They're some of the biggest creeps, and worst misogynists, around. Enabling their disgusting, woman-breaking lifestyle does nothing for the feminist cause. Feminism is great as far as it stands for the promotion of human (female human) excellence. "Slut power" is the bigotry of low expectations, on the other hand. Yes I wonder, if we're mysoginists because we don't like women who are sluts, then what are the guys who use these dumb women? Does she think that the 6'2 muscular guy with the backwards ballcap who is taking her sisters home tonight is some kind of woman's rights activist?? Only in this sick world is someone who values dignity, sexual hygiene, and self-respect considered "mysoginist" . The system has done unspeakable harm to our women.
AD1980 Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Very true. Women think that if they're only slutty with the extremely attractive and rich that they're not sluts Almost all the women I know save their morality and outrage for the ugly guys (what saints), but when it comes to the model men they throw off their panties in 15 minutes. Ive been there,this friend of a friend slept with me one night texted me the next day and blamed it on the alcohol in a roundabout way and pleaded with me not to tell anyone because i gues she thinks im nto attractive In consecutive weeks following this shes makign out with dudes in the middle of the bar she just met and sleeping with these good looking guys without shame Some women would rather tell you they were in a bukkake or gangbang then that they slept with some unattractive guy
TheBigQuestion Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Lots of crying in this thread. Did I just wander into a preschool? For all you dudes that have SO much trouble dating women in New York City, why don't you try the suburbs or something? I grew up in the shadow of New York City (and still live here) and I maintain that NYC is a great place to visit but a horrid place to live. Northern NJ is affluent, friendly, and save for a few areas, far more aesthetically pleasing than any of the 5 boroughs. Try to expand your dating pool a little bit.
Johnny M Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I'm none of the above, thankyouverymuch. I began my career in NY as an editor at a major magazine and quickly made my way up the masthead. I quit what many would consider a glamorous, dream career, because I hated the people who were mean, self-centered and lacked integrity. I took a HUGE pay cut to start my own business with my own money. So you agree with me then?
cognac Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Lots of crying in this thread. Did I just wander into a preschool? For all you dudes that have SO much trouble dating women in New York City, why don't you try the suburbs or something? I grew up in the shadow of New York City (and still live here) and I maintain that NYC is a great place to visit but a horrid place to live. Northern NJ is affluent, friendly, and save for a few areas, far more aesthetically pleasing than any of the 5 boroughs. Try to expand your dating pool a little bit. Don't you think a relationship between someone from Queens like myself with someone from northern new jersey is a little inconvenient? And this is assuming the women there are any different, which I strongly doubt.
TheBigQuestion Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Don't you think a relationship between someone from Queens like myself with someone from northern new jersey is a little inconvenient? And this is assuming the women there are any different, which I strongly doubt. It can't be that bad. On a good day I can get from my town to Long Island City in about 40 minutes. I lived about the same driving distance from my ex and didn't really cause us any problems. Our relationship collapsed for other reasons, so it can't really be that inconvenient. As far as whether they are any better, I'm not really sure, but I can assure you the pace of lifestyle is significantly slower in northern NJ as well as Downstate NY.
thegreatmoose Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 (edited) So you agree with me then? The way you disrespect women stinks. You also disrespect men like me who don't share your views on everything. What's the point? The men who disrespect women ruin it or at least make it harder for the rest of us. Edited November 27, 2009 by thegreatmoose
jerseyboy Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Ive been living and or working their in some combination since 18. Your conclusions are overblown, but I understand why someone would that thay way. Its definitely a pretty decadent place. And certain places and activities tend to draw a certain (not inconsiderable) subset that tend to drive those not similialy inclined away. Then you literally are surrounded by the same type of people, which makes them seem like a larger percentage of the whole than they are. Even normal places like clubs and bars that becomes true of really. The other things is that Manhattan is filled with a lot of wealthy men. So you do get a number of very aggressive husband shoppers in a lot of places. Most people even know where to go for that sort of thing. And the more competition, the harder women try. Disagree that its harder to talk to women in NYC. I find the opposite actually. It moves fast, but people are less shy and more always looking. I also dont think tis harder to keep peoples attention. Though there are more opportunities obviously for those disatisfied. What is true is that if you are above average physically, and even moderately successful, it is hard to be a decent person )speaking as a guy) And the level of bisexuals is insane. The number of guys that will offer you their wives/gf's to be with you is f'ing insane. Or women doing the same. Wanting to offer you to tbheir gf's. Defintiely a sick place comparatively
Johnny M Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 The way you disrespect women stinks. You also disrespect men like me who don't share your views on everything. What's the point? The men who disrespect women ruin it or at least make it harder for the rest of us. LMAO. Your chances with women will remain at zero regardless of what anyone else says or does. Judging by what you write here, you don't need anybody to 'ruin' things for you. You are doing a mighty good job of it yourself.
pandagirl Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Yes I wonder, if we're mysoginists because we don't like women who are sluts, then what are the guys who use these dumb women? Does she think that the 6'2 muscular guy with the backwards ballcap who is taking her sisters home tonight is some kind of woman's rights activist?? Only in this sick world is someone who values dignity, sexual hygiene, and self-respect considered "mysoginist" . The system has done unspeakable harm to our women. Whatever you think is fine, because you are entitled to your own opinion, but your attitude towards women who don't share your "values" is pretty unsettling to me. Just don't date these women then. You don't have to put them down -- just don't date them. Your attitude in these posts indicate to me why you can't find a girlfriend.
Johnny M Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Your attitude in these posts indicate to me why you can't find a girlfriend. I'm none of these, so why am I single? Oh, it's because the men suck in NYC, too. So let me get this straight: cognac can't find a girlfriend because his attitude sucks, while you can't find a boyfriend because men in NYC suck? LMAO
jerseyboy Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 So let me get this straight: cognac can't find a girlfriend because his attitude sucks, while you can't find a boyfriend because men in NYC suck? LMAO LMAO Ok, that was funny:laugh:
cognac Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Whatever you think is fine, because you are entitled to your own opinion, but your attitude towards women who don't share your "values" is pretty unsettling to me. Just don't date these women then. You don't have to put them down -- just don't date them. [/Quote] I put them down because they make the world ugly, which affects me personally as I have to live in the world. They spread disease, degenerate general morality, and then pretend like what they're doing isn't wrong. Just because it's not illegal doesn't mean it's not wrong. Your attitude in these posts indicate to me why you can't find a girlfriend. Yes, it does. Because if you want to find a girlfriend who has some semblance of morality and doesn't give it up to the first model looking guy she sees 5 minutes after meeting him, you'll be looking for a while in NYC and in general actually.
jerseyboy Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 I Yes, it does. Because if you want to find a girlfriend who has some semblance of morality and doesn't give it up to the first model looking guy she sees 5 minutes after meeting him, you'll be looking for a while in NYC and in general actually. LOL Bitter much?
cognac Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 LOL Bitter much? Not really. But there is a certain segment of our society of very rich/physically attractive men with no values who are banging all the women. I want to have a relationship with a decent girl and eventually marry her and have children and these guys are turning women in to pigs.
jerseyboy Posted November 27, 2009 Posted November 27, 2009 Not really. But there is a certain segment of our society of very rich/physically attractive men with no values who are banging all the women. I want to have a relationship with a decent girl and eventually marry her and have children and these guys are turning women in to pigs. No values? Dude, have women throw themselves at you streadily and see what you do. Women not wanting to sleep with you doesnt make you a better person. And all the guys I hear talking that **** jump repeatedly at the first peice of pussy anyone throws at them. Anyway its not women, its people all around that suck. What kind of "values" do you develop when taken/married women supposedly in healthy loving relationships chase after you liek f'ing deranged schoolgirls. Especially the married ones. Trust me, you get to a point where you cant take anythign women say toi you seriously. It all seems like bs
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