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am i a fail?? boyfriend issue here! desperate.


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Posted

well he is kinda my boyfriend, we've been getting really close since last June. just not confirmed yet, i guess. im 20, and he's 26. ive never really had a bf before.. but last summer i told him that i did have a bf in high school.. but just because i thought it didn't matter. i didnt wanna say that i hadn't. looking back at it, i wish i told him the truth.

well, here is my issue.. we always make out in my car as im driving him home from work.. he's really affective, i guess.. and he is always touching me.. like my hands, arm, legs, back of the neck, whatever.... sometimes i just hold him or rest on him, but thats it.. yesterday he says how i am so nervous around him, and i said i wasnt. we talked about it for like 10 mins, and i just said i wasnt, he doesnt believe me though. i guess its because he said i dont touch him or whatever... he said he wont bite which we both LOL'D. i just think i am shy though.. he says he loves me.

 

so does this mean i am horrible at making out??

how can i change things?

 

haha issues, already.. i feel pathetic. please help!! much appreciated! thank you! =)

Posted

I think he was trying to give you a hint. If you are just resting on him, and you all talk and he says that you don't touch him...

 

Okay, it's more than a hint. lol

 

Try something that will surprise him.

Posted

Maybe you should just touch his penor so we can all rejoice.

Posted

Go down on him, that will show him you aren't nervous

Posted
well he is kinda my boyfriend, we've been getting really close since last June. just not confirmed yet, i guess. im 20, and he's 26. ive never really had a bf before.. but last summer i told him that i did have a bf in high school.. but just because i thought it didn't matter. i didnt wanna say that i hadn't. looking back at it, i wish i told him the truth.

well, here is my issue.. we always make out in my car as im driving him home from work.. he's really affective, i guess.. and he is always touching me.. like my hands, arm, legs, back of the neck, whatever.... sometimes i just hold him or rest on him, but thats it.. yesterday he says how i am so nervous around him, and i said i wasnt. we talked about it for like 10 mins, and i just said i wasnt, he doesnt believe me though. i guess its because he said i dont touch him or whatever... he said he wont bite which we both LOL'D. i just think i am shy though.. he says he loves me.

 

so does this mean i am horrible at making out??

how can i change things?

 

haha issues, already.. i feel pathetic. please help!! much appreciated! thank you! =)

 

 

 

I think it is a good sign that you talked about it. Those with a real problem are the sorts who would not talk about it as you did.

 

 

The big, bold, successful, awesome move for you to make, is to fess-up to him the whole, entire truth about your (relevant) social evolution. When explaining about the lack of boyfriend, tell him that you told him so just so you'd sound more hip, or social, or whatever. Dare to beeeeeeeeeee as deeply honest as you can be.

 

Yes, it will increase the risks, but it is nearly certain that you have it all in the bag by now anyway.

 

It is equally as risky to boldly reach for HIS body... and just express yourself... express your feelings... and your feelings about him.

 

It really IS OK for you to dare all of this...

 

 

and the chances of any sort of rejection are absolutely tiny by now... so you have the best of all worlds.

 

Be bold, and brave!

Posted

You are nervous for good reason. He is experienced, you are not. You can get PREGNANT, he cannot! He's been this road before, and likely his feelings are slightly more jaded, and for you, the person you give your virginity to will always be significant.

 

My feeling is that you do need to let him know while you have dated, you are not very experienced, and are somewhat afraid. This will be obvious anyway, trust me, we can all tell someone with and without experience.

 

It is not a shame to be inexperienced! These days everything seems backwards to me! Since when should it be a badge of honor to be a tramp! (and tramps can be men too)

 

I don't think you should sleep with him until he commits to you as his boyfriend. I think it is nuts these days, all these people sport......... and playing with others feelings and acting like sex is no big deal. It IS a big deal, and it SHOULD be a big deal!

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Posted

i just want to thank everybody for their help =]

i really appreciate it!! i will tell him im definetly NOT ready for sex!!

last night we were making out and he started massaging my breasts.. =0 not much of a shock any more.and iwas wondering why i was actually calm!!! but thats as far as anything is gonna go =] i wont let him get anywhere with me!! ha.

Posted

I don't know if this is how your guy is, but as it sounds like he is I am going to offer a bit of my own insight.

 

When your form of displaying affection is touch, and it is not reciprocated, it stings about as much as an "I love you" that doesn't get returned. It may not be meant that way (or even intentional), but it is the same kind of rejection.

 

Just be aware that displaying genuine affection through touch, and sexual touches are not necessarily the same thing. :p

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