Toki Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 So I've been going to this Starbucks for about two months, it's close to where I work. There's a girl that works there, she's pretty attractive, seems to be quite personable, and intelligent. Except, my ability to read people has always been pretty keen, having been a salesman for a few years I'm fairly acute in my ability in telling when someone is trying to sell their personality, in hopes of getting a tip ie small talking, mild flirting so on and so forth. The thing is, is that I rarely give tips, and when I do give tips its generally with my favorite barista, who works a completely different shift than this girl. Weird thing is, is she knows I don't tip, but she still bats her eyes at me, makes small talk, smiles shyly and lately I've noticed she doesn't set the drink on the counter for me to pick up anymore, but instead insists on handing it to me, so that I'm forced to touch her hand in the process, now normally I would be mildly suspicious, but this has been going on for well over a month. So my ability to intuitively assess the situation has become a little muddled; is she aware that she's giving me some kind of signal or vibe, that most good saleswomen would be hard pressed to match in terms of faking interest in hopes of getting tips? Am I being paranoid, and it means absolutely nothing at all? or is she genuinely interested in me, and if that's the case does she know it goes against custom to ask for personal information while on the job? Ugh... any advice?
fallendisguise Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 IMO, it doesn't sound like she is trying to get a tip. It sounds like she is trying to get to know you/flirt with you. Maybe it is different out here, but most people don't tip at Starbucks to begin with. If you're interested, why not suggest getting together instead of being suspicious?
Sam Spade Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 So I've been going to this Starbucks for about two months, it's close to where I work. There's a girl that works there, she's pretty attractive, seems to be quite personable, and intelligent. Except, my ability to read people has always been pretty keen, having been a salesman for a few years I'm fairly acute in my ability in telling when someone is trying to sell their personality, in hopes of getting a tip ie small talking, mild flirting so on and so forth. The thing is, is that I rarely give tips, and when I do give tips its generally with my favorite barista, who works a completely different shift than this girl. Weird thing is, is she knows I don't tip, but she still bats her eyes at me, makes small talk, smiles shyly and lately I've noticed she doesn't set the drink on the counter for me to pick up anymore, but instead insists on handing it to me, so that I'm forced to touch her hand in the process, now normally I would be mildly suspicious, but this has been going on for well over a month. So my ability to intuitively assess the situation has become a little muddled; is she aware that she's giving me some kind of signal or vibe, that most good saleswomen would be hard pressed to match in terms of faking interest in hopes of getting tips? Am I being paranoid, and it means absolutely nothing at all? or is she genuinely interested in me, and if that's the case does she know it goes against custom to ask for personal information while on the job? Ugh... any advice? Yes --> stop being afraid of you dick ! Stop overthinking, dig your heels in, look her in the eye, and inform her: "Baby, we're going out!" (or whatever verbiage seems appropriate depending on context )
Curious-One Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Honestly i never really put too much thought into how the sales people treat me when it comes to oposite sex. I worked in retail for 5 years, since i was 17 and you are always trained to be friendly and nice to people in order to keep them as long term customers. Furthermore we were encouraged to build bonds with customers so that they would come back to our store. At one point we were forced to exchange names and shake hands with every single customer we come in contact with..I worked in a electronics store. Even if she treats you different , it could be because you are a regular there. I had customers that always used to come to the store and i would treat them different. Most of them i knew by name and would always stop by to talk to them. I would let them know about good deals and try to get them the best deals possible. I also felt more comfterbel talking to them. Being a car salesman i am sure you already know all this So even if she is treating you different it might not be a definite sign she is interested. Also the fact that you tip the other girl and not her could be causing her to do this so that she gets tips as well. You know how girls are, they are competative and the other girl might have mentioned that she got a tip from you so is trying to get a time from you too by working extra hard. She also could have mentioned that you never tip and the other girl might have replied that you tipped her last day. Anyway i am thinking too much into this.. One thing you probobly know is to know for sure you need to ask her out. I know its probobly going to be very hard to pull this off for coupla reasons. There will be people around you so you will not only set yourself up for rejection in front of her but most likely infront of other cusomers and coworkers. In addition to that she might not feel comfterbel giving you her phone number infront of her coworkers... Lastly if she does reject you it would be weird going back and getting coffee from the same girl. I guess your best bet would be to slip your email adress next time you see her. Maybe when she gives you the change say "you have been extremely nice to me" , pullout a paper w your email adress and hand it to her along with few dollars. Again if she doesnt email or call it could be kinda ackword next time you get yoru coffee. But than again you dont want to be thinking 3 years from now, what if... Ok i better stop typing as this is turning into a long essay!
BobSacamento Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Do you usually stay at the Starbucks or just go in and right out? I would suggest at least doing a bit of recon. Go early for a few days and read the paper. Then see how she treats other men. I go to the same coffee shop and they are always very pleasant to me. They usually have my order ready and all that jazz. It's all about repeat customers. More customers, more tips. She seems to be working you pretty well haha.
karmait28 Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 I work retail and both my bosses are women, they tend to flirt or talk differently when a man walks in alone. I observe and from my point of view it looks like they are flirting but as soon as the guy flirts back they come up to me and use me to get the guy to stop flirting with them. All im saying is do what BobS says and get some recon, women especially at work like to flirt just to make sure they are still attractive and can get any guy but they really dont want any guy.
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