Die Hard Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 (edited) If you're the kind of man that needs to be told these common sense things, then it won't do any good hearing it. There will always be men who let women take advantage, and then be angry at women, rather than own their own faults. Imo, the anger comes from ones own inability to change ones own behavior, and by extension, how one is treated. If you want women to respect you and treat you right, you have to act like a man and have self respect. THAT is the secret. Why should a woman show any respect for someone who has none for themselves. You teach a woman to treat you like crap and she will not disappoint. Edited November 28, 2009 by Die Hard
stepka Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 You only need the car tests.. if you are going somewhere with your SO in your car, go to the car and unlock the passenger side door for them. If as you make your way to the driver's side door, your SO leans over and unlocks the door for you and pops the handle so you can quickly get in, you've got a keeper. It's funny that you mention that, because I recently read Mars and Venus on a Date (or called something like that), and he specifically warned women that if they do that--if they're too eager to please--that it will really turn the man off. She will lose her status with him and he won't know why, but he won't find her as attractive. I guess the difference could be that this would be on an early date, and you mentioned an SO?
sally4sara Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 There are two factors that men should look for in a woman to determine whether or not she is long term material. Here they are. She must be able to stick by through the tough times. I am not talking about the pseudo drama that some women create in order to keep the passion flowing but the real tough times that people go through. Does she stick by you when money is tight or when a crisis arises? When my wife stuck by me after my ex shot at us that is when I knew she was a keeper. That is an example even if it is an extreme one of a woman standing by you when the chips are down. Many women bail when a man falls on hard luck so a woman that knows what loyalty is is a gem. You have to look at how she deals with peace and contenment within a relationship. Does she get bored and antsy when things are going too well? Does she start to think of you as a brother and complain about the lack of passion when the two of you can actually spend time together without it turning into a screaming match? If so then that is a major red flag. Some women need constant drama in order to feel passion and attraction in a relationship. They are incapable of having a healthy and happy relationship and will always get bored if they are in one. So guys if you have a woman that has passed these two tests then you might just have a keeper on your hands. To be clear, what are "tough times"? Like when you let a phase someone who isn't in your marriage is going through be the line in the sand for your marriage's future? And created drama? Is that like when you tell your partner they won't be chosen over someone you didn't make vows to? Is telling your spouse they get less of your regard than someone who disrespects your marriage a thing one HAS to do or is it something one CHOOSES to do? And if one chooses to create drama in this manner, is it because they grow bored in healthy and happy relationships?
sumdude Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 I agree with Woggle... one caveat.. the same test applies to anyone, male or female. My ex wife failed both. The first part requires the hard times to come. The second part is easier to watch for... and I failed in paying attention to it and other red flags. IOW when things were good.. they were too good and she HAD to create a crisis. She didn't know any other way to live and couldn't help herself. Some might call it being a drama queen but this went to whole a different level. One the hard times came? When my mother was terminally ill with cancer and passed away.. when my job was total hell and really bringing me down? When we hit the hard times? When I was a wreck and for a while needed to lean on her for a change? She added to my stress rather than patiently working through it with me. then She bolted...
Sam Spade Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 While no one is in complete control of their circumstances, the easy way out of this lil' conundrum is to be a perpetual badass who doesn't need anybody's support and will not hesitate to dispose of a misbehavin' ho after a fair warning , Michael Corleone style .
calizaggy Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 good post.. However the only problem is having to fall on truly hard times while dating them. However, I am starting to be convinced that very few women will have much sympathy, and it would be perhaps best to hide this from them, take it like a man, and not share any financial problems with her. As for the drama, that is also a good point, but as long as the above is running smoothly many women will not be causing excess drama.
thegreatmoose Posted November 29, 2009 Posted November 29, 2009 However the only problem is having to fall on truly hard times while dating them. However, I am starting to be convinced that very few women will have much sympathy, and it would be perhaps best to hide this from them, take it like a man, and not share any financial problems with her. That's a terrible idea. She will have even less sympathy if she finds out you're lying about your financial situation. Not being truthful about your finances is not "taking it like a man".
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