Woggle Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 There are two factors that men should look for in a woman to determine whether or not she is long term material. Here they are. She must be able to stick by through the tough times. I am not talking about the pseudo drama that some women create in order to keep the passion flowing but the real tough times that people go through. Does she stick by you when money is tight or when a crisis arises? When my wife stuck by me after my ex shot at us that is when I knew she was a keeper. That is an example even if it is an extreme one of a woman standing by you when the chips are down. Many women bail when a man falls on hard luck so a woman that knows what loyalty is is a gem. You have to look at how she deals with peace and contenment within a relationship. Does she get bored and antsy when things are going too well? Does she start to think of you as a brother and complain about the lack of passion when the two of you can actually spend time together without it turning into a screaming match? If so then that is a major red flag. Some women need constant drama in order to feel passion and attraction in a relationship. They are incapable of having a healthy and happy relationship and will always get bored if they are in one. So guys if you have a woman that has passed these two tests then you might just have a keeper on your hands.
jerseyboy Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Does the ex have to actually hit one of us with a bullet. Ors it ok to just wing me, or come really close?
Author Woggle Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 Does the ex have to actually hit one of us with a bullet. Ors it ok to just wing me, or come really close? She doesn't have to hit either of you.
InspiredbyYou Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Wow that's it? I was expecting some real insight You must have had a rough go with women. I would think the two things you mentioned are basic if you don't have that as the bare minimum, it is not worth even discussing.
soserious1 Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 You only need the car tests.. if you are going somewhere with your SO in your car, go to the car and unlock the passenger side door for them. If as you make your way to the driver's side door, your SO leans over and unlocks the door for you and pops the handle so you can quickly get in, you've got a keeper. Alternatively, if it's cold, snowy and the car windshield needs scrapping what does your SO do? A keeper actively helps to clean and dig out the car. If he/she just sits there fixing their hair,whipping out their cell phone or sniveling about how cold they are or about how they're going to be late... you've just got a real taste of what your marriage will be like during tough times.
eiithan Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 They are part of the tests I have for men I want a teammate/sidekick who understands the rules of coexistence/teamwork...
Johnny M Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I would think the two things you mentioned are basic if you don't have that as the bare minimum, it is not worth even discussing. If those two things were really 'basic', as you claim, the divorce rate wouldn't be at 50%. I agree with the OP. The problem is that there is no way to predict how a woman would react to you falling on hard times until you actually start going through hard times.
Johnny M Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 You only need the car tests.. if you are going somewhere with your SO in your car, go to the car and unlock the passenger side door for them. If as you make your way to the driver's side door, your SO leans over and unlocks the door for you and pops the handle so you can quickly get in, you've got a keeper. You are showing your age, buddy Car locks are operated remotely these days...
New Again Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 You only need the car tests.. if you are going somewhere with your SO in your car, go to the car and unlock the passenger side door for them. If as you make your way to the driver's side door, your SO leans over and unlocks the door for you and pops the handle so you can quickly get in, you've got a keeper. Yeah, we all saw that movie. And What Johnny M said. Completely agree that loyalty is the #1 thing men (or anyone really) should look for in a partner; also completely agree that it's not that easy to come by.
threebyfate Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 So what happens if there are no shooters around or financial hardships? Does the man create drama?
Jaytb Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 So what happens if there are no shooters around or financial hardships? Does the man create drama? It's the only way
threebyfate Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 It's the only way Couldn't resist the double-standard pokeage. Not everyone has a convenient crisis in their lives.
Pizzaman81 Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 There are two factors that men should look for in a woman to determine whether or not she is long term material. Here they are. She must be able to stick by through the tough times. I am not talking about the pseudo drama that some women create in order to keep the passion flowing but the real tough times that people go through. Does she stick by you when money is tight or when a crisis arises? When my wife stuck by me after my ex shot at us that is when I knew she was a keeper. That is an example even if it is an extreme one of a woman standing by you when the chips are down. Many women bail when a man falls on hard luck so a woman that knows what loyalty is is a gem. You have to look at how she deals with peace and contenment within a relationship. Does she get bored and antsy when things are going too well? Does she start to think of you as a brother and complain about the lack of passion when the two of you can actually spend time together without it turning into a screaming match? If so then that is a major red flag. Some women need constant drama in order to feel passion and attraction in a relationship. They are incapable of having a healthy and happy relationship and will always get bored if they are in one. So guys if you have a woman that has passed these two tests then you might just have a keeper on your hands. Alas, easier said than done my friend. A relationship is good and sunny when things always go well. You probably would never find out how she will deal with it when rough times hit around. It could be after a few years... then you've wasted a lot of time.
BookerT Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 When my wife stuck by me after my ex shot at us that is when I knew she was a keeper. Wait, wtf? Your ex wife actually tried to shoot you with a gun or was that metaphorical? Is she in jail? Btw, agree with your two points.
carhill Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Wait, wtf? Your ex wife actually tried to shoot you with a gun or was that metaphorical? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t132685/ That's the reader's digest synopsis. BTW, I agree with the OP and learned that lesson from harsh marital experience but find the hard part is getting the test administered properly before becoming emotionally invested. I'm working on it
AD1980 Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Its hard to tell those things even after a long period of time Theyres a ton of selfish sociopaths out there so those are hard qualtiies to find
Sam Spade Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Well ya, wouldn't it be nice to have discrete tests . The solution is to know what is unnacceptable behavior and not tolerate it all along, even if it is concerning mundane things. For example, girl doesn't help pick up the dishes after dinner. The first time you ignore, the second you're all "WTF?" and if no attempt to change, it's time for *WTF?!?*. I think it is possible to be emotionally invested and at the same time have a more or less rigid boundary about what amount of crap is tolerable.
allina Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 It's about going through life together and growing closer as a result, instead of letting every change, hurdle or challenge be a cause for conflict.
InspiredbyYou Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 If those two things were really 'basic', as you claim, the divorce rate wouldn't be at 50%. Right because the 50% divorce rate is solely attributed to the fact that women are non-supportive when the man goes through hardships or we try to look for drama when everything is the status quo.
carhill Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 Right because the 50% divorce rate is solely attributed to the fact that women are non-supportive when the man goes through hardships or we try to look for drama when everything is the status quo. I think it is possible to be emotionally invested and at the same time have a more or less rigid boundary about what amount of crap is tolerable. Therein lay the conundrum of what I now jokingly refer to as my former marriage. Boundary and response
alphamale Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 There are two factors that men should look for in a woman to determine whether or not she is long term material. Here they are. She must be able to stick by through the tough times. I am not talking about the pseudo drama that some women create in order to keep the passion flowing but the real tough times that people go through. Does she stick by you when money is tight or when a crisis arises? When my wife stuck by me after my ex shot at us that is when I knew she was a keeper. That is an example even if it is an extreme one of a woman standing by you when the chips are down. Many women bail when a man falls on hard luck so a woman that knows what loyalty is is a gem. You have to look at how she deals with peace and contenment within a relationship. Does she get bored and antsy when things are going too well? Does she start to think of you as a brother and complain about the lack of passion when the two of you can actually spend time together without it turning into a screaming match? If so then that is a major red flag. Some women need constant drama in order to feel passion and attraction in a relationship. They are incapable of having a healthy and happy relationship and will always get bored if they are in one. So guys if you have a woman that has passed these two tests then you might just have a keeper on your hands. yeah i'd agree with this...
Author Woggle Posted November 26, 2009 Author Posted November 26, 2009 Right because the 50% divorce rate is solely attributed to the fact that women are non-supportive when the man goes through hardships or we try to look for drama when everything is the status quo. There are a multitude of factors that explain the divorce rate but the fact is that women initiate 75% of them and much of it is based on these two issues. Look at most of the walkaway wife posts on this forum and the common theme you see over and over again is that he fell on hard times and she no longer respects him or he treats her well and is a great husband but she is bored and has lost attraction for him. Men need to screen for these qualities before they commit.
alphamale Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 There are a multitude of factors that explain the divorce rate but the fact is that women initiate 75% of them... actually women end 75% of ALL romantic relationships, including marriages....
Angel1111 Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 Trust me when I tell you that there are a lot of men out there who are drama kings and no matter how supportive and peace-loving a woman is, they will sabotage it. Women need to be smart enough to recognize men like this because they make life miserable.
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