UBFeelinMe Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 First of all, I am a long time reader and first time poster. Basically, my question for the females on this forum is this: Would you date a young good looking guy with a bright future and a confident attitude, but who is also broke as a joke? I'm talking eating sardines for dinner and making life or death decisions when trying to decide what he wants to do on a Friday night kind of poor. That would pretty much describe me. I am a 22 year old college student and pretty much excel at everything I do. While I do not look like Brad Pitt or anything, I do get complimented on my looks often by women and I tend to have a good sense of style and upkeep given my financial situation. That situation, however, is what I am most insecure about and what I feel is holding me back. I live on my own and come from a broken working class home so my family can't support me so I pretty much live paycheck to paycheck to support myself and my goals (I plan to eventually study law). Growing up I had self esteem issues that I eventually overcame, but only to find myself feeling not financially capable of dating and having a girlfriend. While I do live and go to school in a working class urban area, I still find that girls around here enjoy a much better standard of living than I do. I mean, I don't even have my own room for crying out loud! My current living situation is sharing a living room in an apartment full of exchange students, who I get along with. How could I ever take a girl home with me? I know that girls like guys who are goal oriented and aren't bad to look at, but isn't a guy's financial status equally important as the other two? I have non-chalantly mentioned my situation to girls I have dated before and those who were possibly interested in me, when they asked questions about myself, and it seemed to turn them off and they probably thought I was pitiful. I try not to let it deteriorate my confidence, but it has been really getting to me lately and I have not been trying to date that much because of this, in addition to my busy school/work schedule. So yeah, that's my problem right now. I know that there are a lot of guys and girls out there that have it a lot worse than me, but I feel that my brokeness is hurting my game. Like the other things I have overcome in the past, I will get passed this obstacle but I just need some advice, which is why I made this post. Thanks for your time.
Sam Spade Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 At your age it will be an issue, and at a later age it should not be an issue (i.e. you would not have this problem...). That said, college students screw in the most unforgiving of places, at least a specific sub-demografphics (the frat crowd) which you don't seem to belong to (and that's a good thing)...
jw90063 Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 First of all, I am a long time reader and first time poster. Basically, my question for the females on this forum is this: Would you date a young good looking guy with a bright future and a confident attitude, but who is also broke as a joke? I'm talking eating sardines for dinner and making life or death decisions when trying to decide what he wants to do on a Friday night kind of poor. That would pretty much describe me. I am a 22 year old college student and pretty much excel at everything I do. While I do not look like Brad Pitt or anything, I do get complimented on my looks often by women and I tend to have a good sense of style and upkeep given my financial situation. That situation, however, is what I am most insecure about and what I feel is holding me back. I live on my own and come from a broken working class home so my family can't support me so I pretty much live paycheck to paycheck to support myself and my goals (I plan to eventually study law). Growing up I had self esteem issues that I eventually overcame, but only to find myself feeling not financially capable of dating and having a girlfriend. While I do live and go to school in a working class urban area, I still find that girls around here enjoy a much better standard of living than I do. I mean, I don't even have my own room for crying out loud! My current living situation is sharing a living room in an apartment full of exchange students, who I get along with. How could I ever take a girl home with me? I know that girls like guys who are goal oriented and aren't bad to look at, but isn't a guy's financial status equally important as the other two? I have non-chalantly mentioned my situation to girls I have dated before and those who were possibly interested in me, when they asked questions about myself, and it seemed to turn them off and they probably thought I was pitiful. I try not to let it deteriorate my confidence, but it has been really getting to me lately and I have not been trying to date that much because of this, in addition to my busy school/work schedule. So yeah, that's my problem right now. I know that there are a lot of guys and girls out there that have it a lot worse than me, but I feel that my brokeness is hurting my game. Like the other things I have overcome in the past, I will get passed this obstacle but I just need some advice, which is why I made this post. Thanks for your time. The fact that you are a young, 22 year-old college student. I don't understand why any girl would be that judgmental of your situation. It's not like you are 30 years old. I understand the living situation would be aggravating, but its only temporary, I'm sure. If you are a nice, attractive guy who is in college, other things shouldn't matter quite as much. If a girl really likes you, I would think she would be more understanding of things.
lizziem Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 First of all, I am a long time reader and first time poster. Basically, my question for the females on this forum is this: Would you date a young good looking guy with a bright future and a confident attitude, but who is also broke as a joke? I'm talking eating sardines for dinner and making life or death decisions when trying to decide what he wants to do on a Friday night kind of poor. First off, well you possibly wouldn't attract some type of girls, aka those who expects the man to be a bit well-off than her so that he can sometimes treat her, etc. That being said, there exists such girls who will definitely date you. Including me, but let me tell you why I would think you are attractive . [but then again, keep note that my type of guy isn't exactly what other people look for] I'm a law graduate, in my country (Asian) we finish studying law in undergrad, so yes, I really adore guys who have goals and drive, no matter what .. I think it's attractive .. Because I love such traits, I really don't mind men who can't buy me chocolates, and as you say, eat sardines on friday nights.. it might sound cheap, but I did the same when I was in university, and my then boyfriend was ok financially, but I wasn't... so he used to bug me to eat at restaurants, but I would insist he eats my disgusting simple fried rice and eggs cooking in the dorm room . (and of course, with his money he gets me icecream ) But I don't mind having such boyfriend. First, because I know it's only temporary. Second, because I kind of like seeing a guy make it to the top from nothing, it can be quite sexy That being said, I come from a similar background, so it's likely that I more understand your position (that is, the temporariness of it).. Understandably, some others would prefer not to have such a broke boyfriend, but you only need to find 1 out of 100.. The important (and hard) thing is to make your attractive qualities appear to reach the 1 person Lizzie
aerogurl87 Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 If a guy is in college, working his butt off to achieve something in the future, and is broke I'd date him. Now if you take the "working his butt off to achieve something in the future" part out of the equation, then I'd pass. It's all about attitude and circumstances. Not every dateable guy has money, some are broke due to circumstances they really can't control. You seem to go under that category. So if you were cute and working hard in life then I'd date you. Character is more important to me than a few green backs. P.S. On a side note, Brad Pitt to me is not sexy... I don't know why most men use him as the default "sexiest man alive to women" guy. George Clooney looks a hell of alot better.
New Again Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Um...you're in college. I'm not even sure why this is a question, since MOST college students are in your current situation. I realize that depending on where you go to school and who you hang out with it may not seem that way, but it's true. So you had a tough time growing up - good for you for where you're at now. Ambition, good work ethic, a drive to succeed, financial responsibility...THOSE are important qualities to have. Sounds like you're attracted to gold diggers if college girls are turned off by your situation. (Assuming that they are - could just be your insecurity coloring your perception of the situation.) Work on your self-esteem. I could give you example after example of guys just like you (and at least a few that probably had an even worse time growing up) who put themselves through college, who had girlfriends in college, and who are now very successful individuals, both in relationships and in life in general. None of these guys felt sorry for themselves, or saw their backgrounds and current financial situations as faults, nor did they feel insecure about these things. Your situation is what it is. OWN it and who gives a **** what anyone else thinks? Did you really want to talk to someone who cares that you're a poor college student anyways? Last thought: Make sure you have your priorities straight.
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