spookie Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Here is the latest. My job has been sucking as of late. On Wednesday, I wrote Jack an email summarizing my more-professional qualms: Jack, I feel the need to bring up my issues regarding the customer service requests, as my frustration over the last couple of months has been mounting. For more than a year, I have been the only one doing them all, and at this point, they still take up more than 50% of my time. I am long past the point where the occasional request poses a learning opportunity for me; on the contrary, with each request requiring 0% thought and 100% attention, the biggest challenge has been staying awake. I understand that CS requests need to get done, and that there's "no one else" to do them. But why is this my fate? More importantly, for how much longer can I expect it to remain my fate? I know that almost every job involves some boring, repetitive work - and I am ok with the concept of paying my dues. However, in this situation, I have to wonder why my dues seem to be so much higher than everyone else's. I would be surprised if other actuarial positions at __ required quite so much mindless repetition. If I am failing to prove myself capable of more challenging work, you need to give me clearer feedback, because right now, I am in the dark as to what I'm doing wrong. I can honestly say that despite my accumulating dissatisfaction, I am working very hard. I hope you understand that in spite of these qualms, I am still very grateful to be employed; and that my commitment to this organization, and doing my personal best, remains unshaken. When you get the chance, I'd like to discuss this with you Thanks -Spookie He responded by setting up a time for us to discuss. In the conference room large enough for 30 people, we sat side by side under bright lights. I could taste my nervousness, bitter in the back of my throat. He said he had spoken to our boss about the situation, and they agreed that something had to change. I was doing a good job, he told me, and he knew I was capable of more difficult work. “At this point, we are not taking any solutions off the table. It’s possible you’ll get a transfer, or someone else will come in to do this, or you will spend more of your time working on automating the process.” Automating the process was my own idea. Back in February, before the first time I asked for a transfer, I was coming in all the time on the weekends to program our spreadsheets, hoping I could altogether eliminate my job. He scrapped the idea when I finally brought it up to him, saying he needed me to work on other projects. I was elated when he had mentioned a transfer, but then he said, “Can you pull together a spreadsheet summarizing time estimates for programming our various spreadsheets, as well as how much time that would save?” I began to freak out. Having spent months on the process already, I know it would take years to eliminate all the bitchwork I do through automation - and if I am the one working on that, obviously, I would still be working for him. I zoned out as he told me what he wanted to see, and as he went on, allocating my time for years to come, a hysteria began to built inside me. Luckily, before I could blurt out anything stupid, Tim and Carrie rapped on the door. “It’s time for our 12 o’clock, Jack,” Carrie said. “Can we finish this later?” he asked me. I nodded. Back at my desk, I scribbled notes feverishly for 2 hours. I needed to bring up the transfer again, I knew. I could not let them change my role without giving me a different boss, and if I didn’t speak up now, I wouldn’t get a chance again for years. At first, I was just going to say everything out loud, but then I realized I did not trust myself not to get hysterical. I was wired! So I decided to write him a letter. Jack, If we are discussing allocation of my time for the next couple years, I feel I can’t remain silent on the point of still wanting a transfer. The situation as it stands is emotionally unsustainable for me. I felt that I was at the end of my rope when I brought this up back in February; nearly a year later, I’m still hanging, but I know that a breaking point is coming. I know that I have other options - like looking for another job - but __ is honestly where I want to be. Optimistically, I have hoped that there is a workaround that would allow me to stay here, and for more than a year, I have been working as hard as I can, to prove my value and loyalty. However, if all my effort is in vain as far as getting someone to care ab out how stressed I am, I’d appreciate it if someone would let me know. I want to make clear that this issue is separate from dissatisfaction about doing Customer Service requests all day, except in the way they both relate to my unhappiness. However, as I said, if we are talking about options, I feel I would be doing myself a disservice by remaining silent. Thanks, -Spookie Back in the giant conference room, I sat frozen in my chair as he read. Halfway through, he glanced up, smiling, and said, “I need to start being mean to you.” When he was through, blushing but looking pleased with himself, he said, “So, you still want a transfer because of me?” I nodded. “I know last time we talked to Allan (our boss), he said he wasn’t going to rearrange the department just for one person,” he told me. “I know.” “But I wouldn’t want you looking for another job because of this.” “I don’t want to look for another job,” I said, my eyes filling up with earnest tears. “And it wouldn’t make much sense for us to give you different things to do, if you’re still going to be unhappy.” “Well, there are different levels of misery,” I pointed out. “Right now, I am completely unhappy. I hate my job! And I would prefer to be less unhappy than more unhappy.” He laughed. “I don’t know what to say,” he told me. “I’ll talk to John and Allan. Can I keep this letter?” “I don’t necessarily want you to show it to them…” my voice trailed off. He looked annoyed. “If I can’t talk to them about it, how is this is going to change?” I made a face. “Fine.” So we left the conference room, taking the stairwell silently up to our floor. The rest of the day, our professional R did not skip a beat. He continued being just as flirty/ funny/ friendly. That night, my friends and I went to a bar, where we met up with some co-workers. Jack was there, talking to Hannah, a cute blonde that he also works with. I tried to ignore him, but each time my friends and I would come into his cirlce, he’d cheer me with his beer. At one point, Greg took him aside to hit on some drunk hos. He spent a good half hour talking to one, but in the end, went home alone. Greg said the girl hade liked him, but he didn’t even get her number. I am not sure what to make of this situation, but I would appreciate the shedding of light on such issues as: -Am I definitely going to get fired now? -What is he thinking?
Jerry18 Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 (edited) Shouldn't you put this in the work forum? I don't see anything romantic here... Edited November 25, 2009 by Jerry18
BobSacamento Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 News Flash: You are lucky to even have a flipping job!
Author spookie Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 News Flash: You are lucky to even have a flipping job! Thanks, very helpful
SadandConfusedWA Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 Hey spookie what's the latest on Jack?
torranceshipman Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 (edited) What is fanfic? Sounds like a boring scenario spookie, typical soul destroying boring work crap. I know the economy is bad but still, life is too short...I'd start planning your way out of that rut if you can...your boss sounds annoying too. Forget the flirty nature...he a) doesn't even sound entertaining with his flirting, just boring and b) he was hitting on a blonde chick in a bar last night...he's hardly prince charming. In fact he sounds like he thinks he can lay on a bit of charm to get his way and that's just aggravating... Edited December 4, 2009 by torranceshipman Typo
threebyfate Posted December 4, 2009 Posted December 4, 2009 I haven't changed my mind, spook. Jack loves the ego boost.
imani Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 I haven't changed my mind, spook. Jack loves the ego boost. Gotta co-sign with TBF on this one. Total ego boost. Also agree with Torrance ... the sooner you remove yourself from this situation, the better it will be for you. And yes it can be done, even in this economy. You'll find yourself emotionally free and it won't even register on your radar of importance once you remove yourself from it. But Spookie,you will have to WANT to end the emotional torture you seems to be experiencing. Unless you thrive on this drama, I'd look into finding a better place for you to work or get your emotions in check and forget about you and Jack being together. I can understand liking someone you work with, but if you can't do your job because of it, then it becomes a problem. I'm starting not to like Jack a little bit. As your boss, he really should have nipped this in thie budd a long time ago, quite honestly. To me it seems as if he's using your crush on him to get more work out of you that will in turn continue to make HIM look good to his bosses. He knows what he is doing.
start-fresh Posted December 5, 2009 Posted December 5, 2009 In one of your other recent threads I can't remember who made the comment but it was dead on: Jack is such a mind ****. I agree with the other posters that he is using you and your attraction to him as an ego boost. I don't know if I would go as far as to say he's using it to get better work out of you because I think you would do a great job regardless of how you felt for him. The fact that you have continued to do a good job despite what you are experiencing at this job prove that. I know it's becoming clearer to you daily, but this situation is getting kind of toxic. Is the company big enough that you can move to a new department and be completely removed from Jack's realm, or would a different department require you to still collaborate with him? If the latter it seems like a job search is in order. People have been hard on you for not being able to kick this obsession with Jack, but he seems to be furiously fanning the flames. I can just see him becoming a totally different boss (in a bad way) when the light goes off one day and you realize his $hit does indeed stink.
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