joel Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 has anyone dated or had a japanese gf before. the ones that come here to study english for 1 yr. i am seeing one right now. seems like everytime we go out she would give me the money back. we would go watch a movie and i pay for it with my credit card and she'll give me the money owning back.. this goes for everything-coffee, dinner. i never had a girl like this before. also after 4th date she was agreeable to have a relationship-bf/gf with me ,and open to making out and sex. shes open to sex with someone like me who we barely knew each other, but doesn; like talking about sex. she also seems pretty open to sex without any relationship attachments. (something i noticed) also went we go out we jsut bus or meet up and she never cared that i never drove her around. i dated a few girls that cared about just meeting up and busing. she also didnt care to just do free activites like just walk in park or play b ball. the thing i dont like about her is shes seems very secrective. you will ask her questions about her family,what she did on weekend, exs-why it ended and shes seems unwilling to share. the bad thing is that i read her text msgs on her cell and it seems like she has a lover. and i overheard her say i love you on her cell phone call.she invited for the weekend up in victoria to spend time with her and her friends in a hotel. so what is it. what has your experience with dating japanese girls. i like to hear them. is this a cultural thing with jap girls
jerseyboy Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Sounds like you two are at cross purposes buddy. You want something sertious, and she is probably just here to study and have fun. Its like going to Cancun for spring break and expecting to find a wife. I did date a Japanese girl, but born and raised here. Pretty much the same as any other girl
Ornithes Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I'm dating a Chinese exchange student (male) and at first I thought he just wanted me around to improve his English which is pretty much what happened to my friend (male) when he did a year exchange in Japan (not that he was complaining) but she might be doing this to you. According to my Chinese boyfriend, Asian women are quite the conundrum. They act like prudes and even during (consensual) sex they'll tell you to stop but altogether they are pretty open with their bodies. Have you experienced the Asian open mouth tongue kiss? Ugh... took me awhile to get used to that. Freaking weird. As for the rest of it. I think you should probably understand that it's pretty damn hard for people from two different cultures and languages to really connect. At least it was for me because intelligence is the primary factor I look for in a partner and if he can't always understand what I'm saying I get frustrated. Maybe give her a little time to truly appreciate who you are if she doesn't you can just enjoy the ride or kick her to the curb.
Ornithes Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Oh yes... and about the money. As far as most things I've heard about Asian cultures men are expected to pay for dates. So perhaps she is trying to act American by going dutch or she doesn't want to feel indebted to you. I would suggest next time she tries to repay you to refuse the money and then ask her why she feels she has to pay you back.
Author joel Posted November 25, 2009 Author Posted November 25, 2009 I'm dating a Chinese exchange student (male) and at first I thought he just wanted me around to improve his English which is pretty much what happened to my friend (male) when he did a year exchange in Japan (not that he was complaining) but she might be doing this to you. According to my Chinese boyfriend, Asian women are quite the conundrum. They act like prudes and even during (consensual) sex they'll tell you to stop but altogether they are pretty open with their bodies. Have you experienced the Asian open mouth tongue kiss? Ugh... took me awhile to get used to that. Freaking weird. As for the rest of it. I think you should probably understand that it's pretty damn hard for people from two different cultures and languages to really connect. At least it was for me because intelligence is the primary factor I look for in a partner and if he can't always understand what I'm saying I get frustrated. Maybe give her a little time to truly appreciate who you are if she doesn't you can just enjoy the ride or kick her to the curb. lol asian open mouth tongue kiss. yes hehehe. i didn;t think it was a asian thing or is it. i thought it was called french kissing? hmmmmm or what is it
radwimps Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 hey you know what they say? you learn languages faster in bed than any other method!
Ornithes Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 lol asian open mouth tongue kiss. yes hehehe. i didn;t think it was a asian thing or is it. i thought it was called french kissing? hmmmmm or what is it Oh no. You'll know what I'm talking about when you experience it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBvtgtqeI3o watch around 0:25
tami-chan Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 has anyone dated or had a japanese gf before. the ones that come here to study english for 1 yr. i am seeing one right now. seems like everytime we go out she would give me the money back. we would go watch a movie and i pay for it with my credit card and she'll give me the money owning back.. this goes for everything-coffee, dinner. i never had a girl like this before. also after 4th date she was agreeable to have a relationship-bf/gf with me ,and open to making out and sex. shes open to sex with someone like me who we barely knew each other, but doesn; like talking about sex. she also seems pretty open to sex without any relationship attachments. (something i noticed) also went we go out we jsut bus or meet up and she never cared that i never drove her around. i dated a few girls that cared about just meeting up and busing. she also didnt care to just do free activites like just walk in park or play b ball. the thing i dont like about her is shes seems very secrective. you will ask her questions about her family,what she did on weekend, exs-why it ended and shes seems unwilling to share. the bad thing is that i read her text msgs on her cell and it seems like she has a lover. and i overheard her say i love you on her cell phone call.she invited for the weekend up in victoria to spend time with her and her friends in a hotel. so what is it. what has your experience with dating japanese girls. i like to hear them. is this a cultural thing with jap girls First off..the term JAP is derogatory...I am not going to go about why that is...it just is.....personally, I don't get offended by it-but many would be. I am Japanese..although American born. Culturally ( if I can say that:)) I identify more with being Japanese-not only because I lived and went to school in Japan but because my parents made sure I am aware of the culture. Having said that, no, what your "gf" is doing has less to do with with her being Japanese-being secretive etc...but more to do with who she is as a person. "giving back the money" is something I have seen quite a bit...I believe it stems from not wanting people to think we are taking advantage of them-especially if you are "just going out"and you are both students. I, for example, would never assume that my BF will pay for dinner when I want to go to dinner and he happens to be hungry, too. It's interesting because he expected to pay for dinner and really didn't know what to think about me not expecting him to pay. Perhaps, when you go somewhere, you should tell her that you are taking her out to dinner or the movies and will be paying for it-Sometimes it is difficult for some of us to navigate how "dating" in the West is done. Regarding sex, you have to remember that most of us are not Christians and thus do not have the guilt and/or shame many Christian women feel about sex. But there is a dichotomy that goes on-there are things we freely talk about and demonstrate in public and then, there are things that we only do in the private. Making out in public ot talking about sex is something that is not really natural to us ....but the bedroom is something else... However, we also find ourselves with fewer lovers than our western counterparts-at least that's the stereotype we believe. About communication, we use a lot of non-verbal communication-a smirk, a smile, silence....I know it can be very frustrating, but there are things that should not have to be put in words to be understood, no? Just so you know, my statements above are JUST general statements...
Vertex Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 tami-chan, that description seems extremely accurate given my experiences XD
taiko Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 First off..the term JAP is derogatory...I am not going to go about why that is...it just is.....personally, I don't get offended by it-but many would be. That was my first thought as well. However the women involved are from Japan and the OP is from Canada and different cultural assumptions may apply. When I first got onto the worldwide internet I was shocked ate the casual use of "Oriental" by British, as opposed to American English speakers. Also immigrants to America from Cambodia and Vietnam in my specific case would use "Oriental" and I would be looked at as presumptuous when my first reaction would be to correct them with "Asian". Then a few years later I started playing guitar and there was another shock. People from the UK especially would describe Japanese manufactured guitars as "Jap" guitars with no malice intended at all.
jerseyboy Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 First off..the term JAP is derogatory...I am not going to go about why that is...it just is.....personally, I don't get offended by it-but many would be. I am Japanese..although American born. Culturally ( if I can say that:)) I identify more with being Japanese-not only because I lived and went to school in Japan but because my parents made sure I am aware of the culture. Having said that, no, what your "gf" is doing has less to do with with her being Japanese-being secretive etc...but more to do with who she is as a person. "giving back the money" is something I have seen quite a bit...I believe it stems from not wanting people to think we are taking advantage of them-especially if you are "just going out"and you are both students. I, for example, would never assume that my BF will pay for dinner when I want to go to dinner and he happens to be hungry, too. It's interesting because he expected to pay for dinner and really didn't know what to think about me not expecting him to pay. Perhaps, when you go somewhere, you should tell her that you are taking her out to dinner or the movies and will be paying for it-Sometimes it is difficult for some of us to navigate how "dating" in the West is done. Regarding sex, you have to remember that most of us are not Christians and thus do not have the guilt and/or shame many Christian women feel about sex. But there is a dichotomy that goes on-there are things we freely talk about and demonstrate in public and then, there are things that we only do in the private. Making out in public ot talking about sex is something that is not really natural to us ....but the bedroom is something else... However, we also find ourselves with fewer lovers than our western counterparts-at least that's the stereotype we believe. About communication, we use a lot of non-verbal communication-a smirk, a smile, silence....I know it can be very frustrating, but there are things that should not have to be put in words to be understood, no? Just so you know, my statements above are JUST general statements... Are you a ninja?
Yukikazi Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I agree with the above.. Asian women (those that are brought up in asia or have strict traditional parents) have a totally different dating timeline then american girls. Nor will they respond to the same type of style that most are used to. I was dating a fresh off the boat korean girl and took 6 dates before she was up to kissing... Hand holding and "cuddling" was much shorter.. once she got used to the fact that I was holding her hand, by the second date she wouldn't let go of me whenever we wern't sitting down. Walking around hand in hand or arm in arm IS a big deal to these types of girls.. for some itsx the = of kissing and its a big step for them if they've never dated a white guy before. There is also the strict up bringing and social stigma they have to deal with for dating a non asian. Its somewhat frowned upon and you ad a strcit traditional upbringing and they can be tough shells to crack. But once you get them to relax and not be so uptight you will end up with a devoted girl.. that you better appreciate... there is a reason asian women are considered the best choices for marriage and why they are highly "prized".
espec10001 Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I sang and played guitar once for an Asian chick. She then grabbed my shirt, looked up at me and said "I will worship you." I was freaked out!
pandagirl Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I'm Japanese-American, but my mom is from Japan and I respond to a couple things in your post: -Money. Us Japanese people are weird about money. We don't want people to pay for us. The polite thing -- a very crucial aspect to Japanese culture -- is to offer to pay your share. There is always a fight over the bill at dinner. I used to try to pay for my half of the date all the time, until I realized it actually made the guy uncomfortable. -Sex. We are not prudish, but socially brought up to be "good girls." The most sex education my mom ever taught me was: "Don't give away the milk for free," and "Wait until you're married." haha.
Yukikazi Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 The most sex education my mom ever taught me was: "Don't give away the milk for free," and "Wait until you're married." haha. :lmao::lmao:
tami-chan Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 (edited) That was my first thought as well. However the women involved are from Japan and the OP is from Canada and different cultural assumptions may apply. When I first got onto the worldwide internet I was shocked ate the casual use of "Oriental" by British, as opposed to American English speakers. Also immigrants to America from Cambodia and Vietnam in my specific case would use "Oriental" and I would be looked at as presumptuous when my first reaction would be to correct them with "Asian". Then a few years later I started playing guitar and there was another shock. People from the UK especially would describe Japanese manufactured guitars as "Jap" guitars with no malice intended at all. My goodness... are you lecturing me on this? I am Asian and know the different labels people assign to us- not all but certainly most...I am also well-traveled . Personally, I don't mind being called 'oriental"...and Jap does not really offend me...But unless the Canadians and the English were unaware of WWII, I don't know how they could have missed how the Japanese were called during that time... Let's us look at this label that Yukizaki used: I was dating a fresh off the boat korean girl The term "fresh off the boat"(FOB) carries with it a lot of negative stereotypes: check this definitions out: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fresh%20off%20the%20boat Funny, eh? . Like Jap and oriental, I don't really care if people call me a FOB....I just correct them and say it's "fresh off the BOEING"! So I suggest that if you guys are interested in dating Asian women, I would not use those labels on them--just your luck the one you pick might be a militant-feminist-vegan-tree hugging-gore worshiping-acorn community organizing-feng shui believer-leftist... Oh stop. I kid about the bolded part... BTW, when I was in still in school, somebody called me a "CHINK", I had to correct her and told her.."no, the correct racist term for me is JAP, ok? get it right" Edited November 26, 2009 by tami-chan
tami-chan Posted November 26, 2009 Posted November 26, 2009 tami-chan, that description seems extremely accurate given my experiences XD hmmm...I wonder why...perhaps because I AM Asian? Are you a ninja? Er...I like my well-manicured nails unbroken . Besides, ninjas cover their faces, listen, there is a reason why I do not wear a burka, ok? Anyway, do I seem like a killer to you...wth....I mean, sheesh...don't make me go Asian on your...nvm..
Yukikazi Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 My goodness... are you lecturing me on this? I am Asian and know the different labels people assign to us- not all but certainly most...I am also well-traveled . Personally, I don't mind being called 'oriental"...and Jap does not really offend me...But unless the Canadians and the English were unaware of WWII, I don't know how they could have missed how the Japanese were called during that time... Let's us look at this label that Yukizaki used: The term "fresh off the boat"(FOB) carries with it a lot of negative stereotypes: check this definitions out: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fresh%20off%20the%20boat Funny, eh? . Like Jap and oriental, I don't really care if people call me a FOB....I just correct them and say it's "fresh off the BOEING"! So I suggest that if you guys are interested in dating Asian women, I would not use those labels on them--just your luck the one you pick might be a militant-feminist-vegan-tree hugging-gore worshiping-acorn community organizing-feng shui believer-leftist... Oh stop. I kid about the bolded part... BTW, when I was in still in school, somebody called me a "CHINK", I had to correct her and told her.."no, the correct racist term for me is JAP, ok? get it right" You're cheeky.. we should be friends How about a female of Asian decent, arrived so recently as to be subject to conversational speech pattern confusion, cultural and social disassociation with well fixed traditional boundaries lacking sync with the current geographical coordinates.
Vertex Posted November 28, 2009 Posted November 28, 2009 I never refer to women as "oriental" or "Japs," etc. They're pretty derogatory terms. "Oriental" is something I reserve for ramen and rugs -- not people!
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