EYECANDY000 Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I've experienced this personally as well as heard people tell stories about it. I remember with my now ex bf first met, he told me that he is a lot to handle and it takes a strong woman to handle him. I feel like I am a strong woman but a lot of things he said was disrespectful. And I don't think any strong woman would be able to deal with it. The other day I was talking to a guy friend at work and he told me he met a girl and they have been together for a month now but he doesn't think it is going to last . He said when they first met she stated that she needs a lot of attention. And my friend stated indeed she does. He said that she has tantrums, throws items, and he has to litterally grab her and tell her to calm down. I guess my question is ' if these people know that they are the reason every relationship fails , why they just don't change? Why seek out such bad attention? Has anyone ever experienced this with someone and did the relationship last? Update/off topic: I had a thread on here a month ago about my bf and I going on vacation over the holidays, mainly christmas.. and if it was wrong for me to ask him to go over christmas considering the fact that he has a 3 kids and I have none. Well we just came back from our vacation and he has dumped me. It was a misunderstanding and now its over. I'm not sure if I should continue to persue the relationship or just let it go. The last day or so hasn't been that bad only because I haven't allowed myself to cry. But I don't know what do do.
dreamergrl Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Because they don't want to change. I think it's laziness. I now look at it as a warning sign if someone says they are hard to handle... been there done that!
New Again Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Yup, they don't change because they don't want to. Also, often they don't actually HAVE to change - there are too many wimpy guys who will put up with crappy behavior. Example: girl flips out for no reason and guy (thinking I could never get a hotter girl, or whatever) ends up begging girl to keep him around. If enough guys put their foot down the second said girl displayed crappy or abusive or dramatic behavior I bet she'd change. Sorry about your bf.
b52s Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Yup, they don't change because they don't want to. Also, often they don't actually HAVE to change - there are too many wimpy guys who will put up with crappy behavior. Example: girl flips out for no reason and guy (thinking I could never get a hotter girl, or whatever) ends up begging girl to keep him around. If enough guys put their foot down the second said girl displayed crappy or abusive or dramatic behavior I bet she'd change. Sorry about your bf. Would have been true in the olden days....but now days, negative....she'd dump the guy that put his foot down and just find some guy that will put up with her crap.
SoulSearch_CO Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 When someone states 'im to much to handle' Run. Like. Hell. And don't look back. They were warning you that they should be surrounded by orange cones and a warning sign. You get involved after that - you only have yourself to blame.
jerseyboy Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 LOL Its true , its a bad sign. And Im someone who tells people Im high maintenance, which is more or less the same thing. We are bad news for the most part.
DustySaltus Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 "I'm too much to handle" is telling you that they don't know how to control themselves and they want YOU to adjust to THEM. Other warnings I should've listened to on past dates and relationships: "I have a little bit of a temper sometimes" "I don't like 'flat' relationships, I like a little drama every once and a while" "I have issues trusting people" "I have to see my parole officer this wednesday, can we hang out Thursday"
deux ex machina Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 I have told someone "I'm too much to you to handle" before. I meant it. I didn't think he could handle me, I'm not easy all of the time. I'm worth it, though. To be fair, I don't want anyone easy, either.
threebyfate Posted November 25, 2009 Posted November 25, 2009 Most Type A personalities are difficult to handle. As one myself, my expectation is whomever I'm with, will put me at the top of his food chain, since that's what I automatically do, for any partner. If I don't get this need fulfilled from a partner, I walk. My H. fulfills this need with ease. He understands and not only buys into it, has always expected it as well. The dynamic this causes, is an easy relationship, since needs are being met on both sides, intuitively.
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