jimbo Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Alright. Here it goes. Been dating the woman for a few weeks. Instant chemistry, I mean, we started kissing during the first date. I really fell hard for her. Though, I did not want her to know. Texted her once or twice a week. Saw I had some issues at work, asked if she could help, said no its cool. Anyway, zoom past to six weeks in. I just got a funny feeling and I checked out my profile where we first met. Keep in mind, she's not viewed my profile for weeks. So I e-mail her and confirm our date for Saturday. First says, yep, we're still on. Then fires another one, said actually, she has to work late and get up the next morning. Effectively canceling the date a day before. E-mailed back, said fine. Also said, mainly cause I was really pissed, we should probably kill next weeks date too? She waited a few hours and said, probably be best. Said fine. Week later, e-mailed my thoughts about how everything went down. She replied back two weeks later, first apologizing for the slow reply and the way she broke things off. Said she really was having a great time, but was all of a sudden wasn't feeling it anymore. So did my little tiff throw the whole thing out of whack? Keep in mind, the week before, she was very touchy feely. Though, stupidly, I did not get the hints until after I left. Really wanted to work out. Have not been the same since.
dreamergrl Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I think what matters here is that she's not feeling it any more. No point in trying to figure out why.
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I think what matters here is that she's not feeling it any more. No point in trying to figure out why. Agreed. It's even possible that she might not have been "feeling it" to begin with but needed some kind of gratification until someone better came along. Not trying to be harsh, but that happens a lot with dating sites.
DustySaltus Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I've been in situations where the last minute someone cancels. At first I would get upset and once or twice I probably said some smart remark to them that I probably regretted down the line. But i've realized it's better to just tell them it's not a problem and for them to let you know when it's a better time for them. If the person feels guilty, they will waste no time in setting things up. If they drag their feet, you're dealing with someone that is either indecisive or just not that into you. At that point you need to move forward. People tend to do some pretty weak things sometimes but the key is not to let it effect the way you carry yourself. When things don't work out there is always a reason. However, I don't believe what you did helped the situation. But it certaintly wasn't the deciding factor.
dreamergrl Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 She said she wasn't feeling it anymore. What is there to analyze. It sounds like he just wasn't a match for her. Grant it throwing a hissy wasn't the best course of action, but if she wasn't digging him any more, it's time to move on. Trying to fix it would only come across as pushy and needy.
bayouboi Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Agreed. It's even possible that she might not have been "feeling it" to begin with but needed some kind of gratification until someone better came along. Not trying to be harsh, but that happens a lot with women. ut oh did i do'd a bad? ;o
DustySaltus Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 She said she wasn't feeling it anymore. What is there to analyze. It sounds like he just wasn't a match for her. Grant it throwing a hissy wasn't the best course of action, but if she wasn't digging him any more, it's time to move on. Trying to fix it would only come across as pushy and needy. He should definitely learn from the situation so when he meets a girl down the line that is interested in him he doesn't scare her off.
dreamergrl Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 He should definitely learn from the situation so when he meets a girl down the line that is interested in him he doesn't scare her off. I don't think a girl who was interested would have canceled last minute like that though. At least not without trying to reschedule something. I did agree though, throwing the tiff didn't make things better.
Author jimbo Posted November 24, 2009 Author Posted November 24, 2009 Granted, I think I may had jumped over the line just a bit. However, consider my POV. Five days before everything was cool, she's all touchy feely, and kissing all over. I was shocked when she said that at the last minute. One it was rude. Two, if she did have to cancel, that's cool, tell the datee more than a day before. I am far from perfect. Ironically, when we at our last meal (supper - lol), she was saying how happy and well things were going. Weird. I did try again to reconnect. She said yes on the date and said she was looking forward towards it. And then, like before, asked her to confirm and she never called back. That was the last I heard from her.
DustySaltus Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Granted, I think I may had jumped over the line just a bit. However, consider my POV. Five days before everything was cool, she's all touchy feely, and kissing all over. I was shocked when she said that at the last minute. One it was rude. Two, if she did have to cancel, that's cool, tell the datee more than a day before. I am far from perfect. Ironically, when we at our last meal (supper - lol), she was saying how happy and well things were going. Weird. I did try again to reconnect. She said yes on the date and said she was looking forward towards it. And then, like before, asked her to confirm and she never called back. That was the last I heard from her. Jimbo, I understand where you are coming from. The problem is that you were dealing with someone who doesn't want to be held accountable for their behavior. And when someone calls them out on it, their natural habit is to be defensive or run away...because it's so much easier than having to deal with any issues they may have. I just think down the line if you meet someone and they pull the same garbage, don't even let them know that you're upset. Let them come back to you.
dreamergrl Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 What if she just found out she had to work? What if she gave you notification as soon as she found out? Or maybe she's been on the fence with you? You've only been dating her a few weeks. Better to know she feels this way now then down the road further.
Ody Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 He should definitely learn from the situation so when he meets a girl down the line that is interested in him he doesn't scare her off. All he needs to do is learn how to easily move on from things like this. There's never a good or clear explanation, and even if you think you figure it out, how does one confirm the theory? It's a pointless exercise, aside from idle curiosity. Just move on.
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