redant Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 ok every once in a while my bf bugs me. Last night he was watching the some show about tribes in the Amazon and then later tribes in Africa. So I watched a moment and they were having a forced type marriage where the spouses are chosen by the parents. Somehow female genital circumcision came up. He explained how in all of Africa the women's clitoris is removed and basically they have no sexual feeling. Anyway this is something I know of but it bugged me that he was going on and on about explaining it to me. So I got up and said I'm not interested in hearing about it and that I didnt think all of Africa does this. Anyway by me getting up and getting annoyed I guess he felt he can't share things with me w/o me getting upset. So after I got mad at him or annoyed. He then was upset and didn't want to talk. Somehow I hurt his feelings. Anyway I said I was sorry but tried not to feel so guilty as I sometimes have a tendency to do. Also I feel that maybe he is holding this against me like I'm in a test as to whether I'm a worthy gf or not and then I get more angry and am thinking "forget this" I don't need to be tested I'd rather be alone. Anyway. Is it a good idea to discuss this more forget about it? I'm annoyed. Am I supposed to like everything my bf talks about and shares with me esp when he is so opinionated and a know it all! I suppose what men want is for us to smile and nod and look at them and say honey you are so smart and you know everything!
Author redant Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 I dont know what he can or can't talk about. I sometimes get annoyed by his attitude about things really. He seems to see things in a doomsday kind of way. Like every woman in Africa and around the world is mutilated in this way. His outlook is bleak, which can be realistic, but also I feel he could see things more positive.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Like you said it's a lover's spat and while the topic that came up was a little disturbing ( for us females) I think you could have handled it more appropriately, by telling him in a more reasonable manner about how you don't want to talk about it rather than getting up and walking away. I think he's just offended by the fact that you acted so immature in mid- conversation.
Author redant Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 yea paper that is prob it. I needed to get up anyway yea but he didn't know where I was coming from. He thought I didn't know about the subject.
dreamergrl Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Or maybe he has interest in different cultures and tried to have an adult conversation.
Author redant Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 Alot of probably has to do with being with someone every single day and annoyance is gonna happen.
xpaperxcutx Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Alot of probably has to do with being with someone every single day and annoyance is gonna happen. That could be it as well lol
espec10001 Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Alot of probably has to do with being with someone every single day and annoyance is gonna happen. Isn't that called marriage?
BUENG1 Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I suppose what men want is for us to smile and nod and look at them and say honey you are so smart and you know everything! I think you've got it. :
EarthGirl Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 I think you've got it. : well I would not exactly say that in this case...what I mean is it's quite the most ironic thing I ever heard for you to say kind of that he wants to put you as his woman in your place when the very thing he was trying to have a conversation about was basically a HUGE issue of women's rights. Maybe in other ways he tries to put you down and that is just not cool (been through it myself)..Do NOT put up with it it will only get worse and worse...But I just think this particular topic for you to start this thread about...well I understand that you want to be around him when he is more positive (I have a dad who is really morose and talking about kind of depressing things all the time..global warming, wars, diseases, etc..sometimes I feel like he is purposely trying to freak me out because he knows I have a fragile mind and can only handle that kind of thing a certain amount of time each day or I will be depressed too or have nightmares that night..thank god I don't live with too much scary stuff like that myself at the moment)...And I think that is one of the basic main components of "emotional abuse' is when someone basically takes their pain and their fear and tries to put it on your shoulders when they are supposed to love you as a way to relieve the weight off of their own. Yeah but I do think it is pretty ironic that you're talking about him not respecting you because he was bringing you down with this subject...because the one thing I've kind of figured out finally is if a guy respects women in general..he is much more likely to respect YOU as an individual...wether it is as a love interest or a co-worker, friend, relative..etc. so don't really have any idea about all this...could go many different ways...hope it works out though.
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