Nikki88 Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 So I am a "relationship" person...I have moved too fast in every relationship I have had and I always get hurt...I want to change and do things the healthy way for once. I have recently found myself ready to date again after a break up....here is my situation. I met someone - a single dad from my son's daycare. We get along great, have been chatting on facebook and texting here and there. We have made plans to get together next Thursday (12/3, we are both busy due to the holiday). Now patience has never been my thing. I don't want be that clingy girl that I have always been...since we are waiting a week and a half until our date...how often is it ok for me to contact him? I mean, he initiated contact yesterday and I would like to today, but I just don't want to seem needy or pushy. I just have this tendency to really let a guy know when I am interested and be too "available" if you know what I mean. I have never really taken the time to "date" someone. So, where do I start?!?!?! Thanks so much! Nikki
amirpc Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Nikki For what it's worth, you're not alone I have a very hard time not diving head first into a relationship when I realize I'm attracted to someone. Personally, I have to apply mental brakes to prevent myself from contacting them every day or constantly trying to schedule next dates, etc. I try to plan out my next move when I'm in a calm state of mind, and then force myself to stick to that plan. So if when I feel that my judgement is unclouded I resolve to wait one day, and then send a text message asking her how her day was - I force myself to wait it out and do just that. So my advice would be, when you're CALM - not when you're dying to speak to him/get some sort of validation about your feelings - decide on an appropriate course of action...and then force yourself to stick to it. In your particular case, I don't think it is appropriate to contact him before the date (if it is indeed your first date). That would send very strong signals very early on to most men. It's difficult when you're an excitable/passionate person, you just are so excited about this new person that you put yourself so far out there you are almost guaranteed to get hurt. It sucks, but hey, at least we've got passion in us.
Author Nikki88 Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 For what it's worth, you're not alone I have a very hard time not diving head first into a relationship when I realize I'm attracted to someone. Personally, I have to apply mental brakes to prevent myself from contacting them every day or constantly trying to schedule next dates, etc. I try to plan out my next move when I'm in a calm state of mind, and then force myself to stick to that plan. So if when I feel that my judgement is unclouded I resolve to wait one day, and then send a text message asking her how her day was - I force myself to wait it out and do just that. So my advice would be, when you're CALM - not when you're dying to speak to him/get some sort of validation about your feelings - decide on an appropriate course of action...and then force yourself to stick to it. In your particular case, I don't think it is appropriate to contact him before the date (if it is indeed your first date). That would send very strong signals very early on to most men. It's difficult when you're an excitable/passionate person, you just are so excited about this new person that you put yourself so far out there you are almost guaranteed to get hurt. It sucks, but hey, at least we've got passion in us. Yes, that is the problem! I just get excited! It's fun and it's new and it's hard to keep calm. You are right though. We started planning our date for 12/3 last Friday and than he initiated contact yesterday....so I think I will TRY to resist the urge and let him take the lead. I guess my fear is him losing interest between now and next week!!! Thanks for responding!
amirpc Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I guess my fear is him losing interest between now and next week!!! Yeah I get those fears too, but the way I rationalize them is this: If all it took for them to forget about me was 6 days, then it clearly wasn't going to work. Your subconscious wants to sabotage you, you gotta fight it with logic!
Recommended Posts