LostInLA Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Although I've still yet to do the internet dating thing, it sounds like this guy is just being picky about who he meets but at the same time making assumptions about you. Just my opinion though. I think someone else should chime in about canceling, as I have no experience here.
kimflute26 Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Oh my gosh... Girl, PLEASE go with your gut and run, run, run away!!! The guy sounds a bit loopy, and do you really need someone causing drama before you even go on a FIRST date? A bigger red flag could not be waving at you!!! Also, logging off chat in the middle of a conversation is the equivalent of hanging up the phone on someone. If I were you I'd never talk to him again.
b52s Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 It seems you are trying to decided whether he is date worthy before you have even met him. Go on the date then decide. You don't really have enough to go one yet. And anyway, it's always best if the first one is a nut. Tells you straight up whether you've got the stomach for internet dating! Weeds out the woozies from the rest of us who get into it like it's a hobby! Yeah, she seems to already have a negative attitude...that it's over before it's even started. Seems you spend more time trying to FIND something wrong with the guy.
Art_Critic Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Is it rude of me to cancel tomorrow? No it isn't.. you need to cancel... The guy is already accusing you of being dishonest and hiding something when you openly told him about it and told him you wanted a face to face conversation to talk about it rather than IM.. NEXT him..
DustySaltus Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Sounds like this guy has been burned before. Regardless, I agree with art critic as he has already painted a picture of you in his mind before you even meet. Any time you have to go into a date with preconceived notions about the the other person, it's a date that shouldn't happen. I would cancel.
freestyle Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Hi l4gg! I just thought of another precautionary measure to take. BP said not to get in a car with a first date. Great advice. I'm going to add an extra layer of protection by suggesting: Next time you go on a first date, park a few blocks away, and take a cab to to whatever location your date will be meeting you. That way , just in case he's a psycho stalker, he doesn't know what your car looks like, and more importantly, he doesn't get your license plate which could allow him to track down your home address, if he's resourceful enough. Ounce of prevention.......................
jerseyboy Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Well I can says this much Hypothetically... If the date turns out to be an annoying person who goes on forever talking about their ex during dinner, do not make a comment along the lines of "So what happened to him? Did you kill him? hahahahaha" Because soemtimes the answer is "No he committed suicide," followed by hysterical sobbing in the middle of the restaurant Just saying.......
Art_Critic Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Well I can says this much Hypothetically... If the date turns out to be an annoying person who goes on forever talking about their ex during dinner, do not make a comment along the lines of "So what happened to him? Did you kill him? hahahahaha" Because soemtimes the answer is "No he committed suicide," followed by hysterical sobbing in the middle of the restaurant Just saying....... .....
justforfun Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 So in the middle of the IM he starts asking why I'm not fat and ugly..... Uhh.....because I'm not? Then he asked if I've never had a boyfriend before or been engaged (I'm divorced....so yeah I have) I tell him this, and he asked when I was going to tell him I was divorced. I said whenever he asked me. So then he asks me "why" I'm divorced. My divorce was Lifetime Movie Network meets Jerry Springer....dude has his penis on the internet, was doing other men, had bank accounts with other women, was stealing people's credit (including mine....*******) and turned out to be an abusive freakish psycho. That's not really what I want to explain over IM. I told him I had no problems discussing it in person, but it wasn't a conversation over IM. And he promptly logged off. Then I get a text that says he doesn't know if he wants to do dinner b/c he doesn't like it when someone hides something or doesn't tell him something. HELLO.....I don't know you wack job. Why would I tell you about my divorce???? So perhaps I need to run away. Spidey Sense says run away. He's been internet dating for a while and he's learned to be over cautious. Every guy I've met has crazy stories about nutty women. One I was talking to last night said he met a woman who seemed normal. Said she had split with her husband. She had split because he had gone to prison and she was out on bail about to go to prison too. Guys are a bit confused as to how to ask these questions but he certainly sounds like one that's been burned by not asking. Your spidey senses aren't going to help you much when you are using them in an unfamiliar situation. Bit like going to Papua New Guinea and thinking you can rely on intuition. Go to go there a few times first!
justforfun Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Hi l4gg! I just thought of another precautionary measure to take. BP said not to get in a car with a first date. Great advice. I'm going to add an extra layer of protection by suggesting: Next time you go on a first date, park a few blocks away, and take a cab to to whatever location your date will be meeting you. That way , just in case he's a psycho stalker, he doesn't know what your car looks like, and more importantly, he doesn't get your license plate which could allow him to track down your home address, if he's resourceful enough. Ounce of prevention....................... Or you could just stay home.
justforfun Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Oh don't....I've been there! In response to a really awful piece of furniture in his picture. A piece of furniture that he had admitted was hideous. I asked him why he kept it then. He said a friend gave it to him. He was holding onto it for sentimental value....and I said....Why? Is he dead? Erm..yes...he committed suicide just over a year ago. .....
Author looking4 green grass Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 He's been internet dating for a while and he's learned to be over cautious. Every guy I've met has crazy stories about nutty women. One I was talking to last night said he met a woman who seemed normal. Said she had split with her husband. She had split because he had gone to prison and she was out on bail about to go to prison too. Guys are a bit confused as to how to ask these questions but he certainly sounds like one that's been burned by not asking. Your spidey senses aren't going to help you much when you are using them in an unfamiliar situation. Bit like going to Papua New Guinea and thinking you can rely on intuition. Go to go there a few times first! Does it count if I've actually been to PNG? lol Now that's he's been all freakish really don't want to go suffer through an hour of awkward conversation. Because I rather not have a miserable day!
dreamergrl Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I remember my first online date... it was a toothless guy. How fun that one was. Some people are very picky and ask tons of questions before the date. Some like to have a good idea of who they are going out with. Others are just being stalkerish. Listen to your gut, but stay within reason. Ask yourself if it's just nerves.
flc Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 As long as you are meeting in public and have a quick escape plan you shouldn't have any problems. But if the guy is making you concerned before you even meet him just move on, way too many people to deal with someone that bothers you. On a side note the women I am currently dating we met online, our first date was coffee. We hit it off pretty well and she wanted some help picking out some exercise equipment. We went together in my car bought the equipment and went to her house. So you never know we have been together for over year now.
Author looking4 green grass Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 So I canceled with the first guy. He was way too creepy for me. Now I've gotten about five text messages begging me to change his mind and apologizing for being so immature in our last conversation. I dunno......he still seems creepy. I may reschedule for something other than an entire dinner....but still............if he's that weird already...I can only imagine how weird he would be later on. But I scheduled "drinks" with POW #2. muahahahaha I will update later.
Art_Critic Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 he still seems creepy. Yes he is.. and by the way.. 5 texts after he got caught acting like an idiot to you before he has ever met you.. Just think about how bad.. not weird he will treat you when he knows you Go with number 2
Author looking4 green grass Posted November 23, 2009 Author Posted November 23, 2009 Oh wow. And now he's calling. See me ignore that call. GEEZ. Way to go spidey sense. I'd say it nailed this guy on the head!!
justforfun Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I wouldn't have canceled. You never know what he may have been like in person. He may have been so gorgeous that you could overlook his stalking behaviors. And at least you'd know he cared. Oh wow. And now he's calling. See me ignore that call. GEEZ. Way to go spidey sense. I'd say it nailed this guy on the head!!
Lakeside_runner Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 Gee, reading this thread made me wonder... now if I'm ever gonna go out on an online date I'll look for the SWAT team in the coffee shop I'm going to! Soon enough online dating is gonna resemble a true war. What's so different from meeting someone whom you talked to online from someone who approached you on the bus stop or in a shopping mall? I think online dating just have this stigmata and everybody just assumes the worts. OK, I know there's a lot of psychopaths there but as long as you meet in a public place, preferably in the middle of the day for coffee for 40-60 minutes you should be fine. If you're worried about your safety (car related etc.) take a cab or a bus but if seriously, if there is so much initial mistrust do you think one meeting is going to change it? Would you do the same if you had met this guy other than online?
justforfun Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 I think online dating just have this stigmata and everybody just assumes the worst. :laugh::laugh: I'll have to check their palms next time I meet one.
Lakeside_runner Posted November 23, 2009 Posted November 23, 2009 ... and feet... and don't forget about the ribs
justforfun Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 ... and feet... and don't forget about the ribs Oh gosh yes. That could be somewhat awkward too.
Author looking4 green grass Posted November 24, 2009 Author Posted November 24, 2009 I survived folks! All body parts are still attached and I am still breathing. I would definitely go out with him again if he asked. When I got home my roommate and I propped up my phone in the middle of the coffee table to see if he would text me. He did. And we've been texting all night. (What did we do in the days before text?) Unfortunately I did not read his palms, feet, or check out his rib cage. Should I have also taken an oral swab and checked his ears? lol I'm so glad I canceled with Mr. Creepy.
Author looking4 green grass Posted November 24, 2009 Author Posted November 24, 2009 And SCORE. Date number two. Ummm.....Online Dating Army? Advice? Now what?? How many times do I meet him in public before I can decide he will not slice and dice me?
justforfun Posted November 24, 2009 Posted November 24, 2009 Wohhhhh Slow down. Not trying to p!ss on your bonfire, just trying to add a bit of perspective. Especially since you didn't check for stigmata or strep! I survived folks! All body parts are still attached and I am still breathing. I would definitely go out with him again if he asked. When I got home my roommate and I propped up my phone in the middle of the coffee table to see if he would text me. He did. And we've been texting all night. (What did we do in the days before text?) Unfortunately I did not read his palms, feet, or check out his rib cage. Should I have also taken an oral swab and checked his ears? lol I'm so glad I canceled with Mr. Creepy.
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